Post Christmas ... the resumption of sanity

I am soooo tired. Christmas Eve went off without a hitch. The dinner came out alright. I strive for no complaints. This year, I didn't hear any so I guess it was OK. The leftovers were even better! My kids raked it in! I swear there wasn't anything on the kids list that they didn't get. The living room was covered in boxes and paper and ribbon and in the middle of it all was this toddler who was practically bouncing off the walls trying to figure out what to destroy first. Her grandma opened up the majority of her presents which Emily carried around and dropped in some strategic place. Her piano unfortunately, arrived damaged. The back was crushed in as if something heavy was sitting on it and Em's has to bang on the piano really hard to get any sound out of it at all. OK..That could be a blessing and believe me I know this. But, I did get on the phone with the company that I ordered it from, and they shipped one to me yesterday which I should get in the next few days. Kudo's to Sensational Beginnings for their really good customer service. I asked them if I should have the damaged piano ready for them to pick up and was told to just put it on the curb with the trash. Well cool! So there is a little plug from me for them. After the flurry of wrapping paper and fever pitch excitement about their presents, Christmas Day and the day after Christmas were spent breaking it all. For us adults, it was prime opportunity to sit on our butts and we did! And um..we drank a lot too. YUM. The next stop, NYE. Have I ever mentioned how much I loathe and detest NYE? It is the one day of the year I feel like the biggest loser! I think the whole holiday was cursed when I married my ex on NYE 1993 and it was downhill from there, hook, line and sinker! Since that fateful day, my NYE's have usually been spent getting stood up which has happened countless times, or I make plans and someone gets the flu and I wind up sitting at home with chinese food and a B movie or I get the flu and spend it in bed. Around midnight, I look back at the preceding year and say...what have I accomplished? Nothing! I'm in the same place I was last year, broke, no boyfriend, barely swimming with my head above water and one year older to boot! I am aware it is my own perceptions. I am aware I can adjust my attitude. I am aware of a lot of things. But like Melvin in the movie "Is This as Good as it Gets?" I wonder the same thing every year! IS IT? My life has one thing for sure, a whole lotta drama! All I can say is HAPPY NEW YEAR to all of you and please pass the Prozac!

This could be my last chance!!!

OK .. I got this in my email today and thought I would post this because it was the best laugh I got all week!

"Hi

This is a legitimate appeal for ladies only.
If you are interested or if you want to unsuscribe email me at
togni55@land.ru


I'm an Italian guy,I live in Italy and my name is Andrea.I live in Padova.
I'm sending this message to the people because I'm bored to live in Italy,I'm
looking for a lady what could invite me in usa.I seek a millionaires american
lady who desires a young guy for marriage.
I don't seek a woman who works too much but a lady who has a lot of time
and could meet me.



I would love to find a wealthy lady who lives in one of the following places in
usa or nearby:
1) "The treasure coast",I mean north east Broward County or east Palm Beach
county(FLORIDA)
2)Honolulu (Hawaii)
3)Reno(Nevada)
4)Las Vegas(nevada)
5)Atlanta(georgia)
6)Jupiter,Stuart,Coral Springs,Jensen Beach,Boynton Beach,Deepwater,Hutchinson
Island or Miami(Florida)





Considering that I like the mature women, I'd love to find a lady of 45-60yo
age range.
I'd love to find a gentle long haired lady who lives in a swimming pool house
near the sea (as I like to swim) .
I seek a lady without young or old children,a no smoker lady who could be
widowed,separated,single ,divorced.
I would need a sugarmamma figure at the beginning .



I seek a bisexual woman that figures out of the years,looks young and feels
young :
it's not a problem if she's not beautiful because she should be beautiful inside
and most of all ,she should desire a younger soulmate.(She could be overweight
too)
The thing I desire is to fix a serious stable relationship with a lady who
gives me the opportunity to have a better life.




ABOUT ME:

I have long black hair,my weight is 65 kilos(145 lbs) and my height is about
1.80 metres(5.11)...
I'm no smoker /drinker and I'm good looking.



If you could be the kind of woman I'm looking for, write me soon please!!!!!!


Thank you very much for reading my letter .
I think there must be a woman for me out there.




Cheers

ANDREA TOGNAZZI -Italy"

Now, doesn't he sound like a prize? Ladies, if you are bisexual, rich and old, do give Andrea a call so another Anna Nicole Smith trial can make the news. In the meantime, I don't think I fit the criteria. The only swimming pool I have is the big puddle in the backyard that I get when it rains a lot. I was thinking of upgrading my swimming pool to one that is turtle shaped for Emily. Think Andrea would go for that? I'm sure he's about Emily's age anyhow.

Darn! I wish I had replied to that Swiss Lotto win, then I could afford this Italian Stallion!

Peace!

Merry Christmas

Christmas Greetings to all of you! I am preparing to shut this sucker down for the day so I can focus on creating our Christmas Eve Feast!

On the menu tonight:
Garlic and basil shrimp with Sundried tomatoes over Fettucini.
Salad with Tarragon vinagrette
Steamed cauliflour and Broccoli with mustard sauce.
White wine
Assorted desserts

I am also serving as a pre dinner munchies
Vidalia Onion dip for crackers
Shrimp cocktail
Scallops sauteed in butter and garlic
Vegetable pizza.

Tomorrow, we eat leftovers and get over the hangover.
Do have a wonderful holiday! Hope Santa is good to all of you. I know Santa mom went way over budget this year in this house! Oh well..it's only money right?

Leaving with one of my favorite quotes of all time

Do good anyway...

"In the Final Analysis"

by Mother Teresa

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered...
forgive them anyway


If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives...
be kind anyway


If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies...
succeed anyway


If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you...
be honest and frank anyway


What you may spend years building, someone may destroy overnight...
build anyway


If you find serenity and happiness, people may be jealous...
be happy anyway


The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow...
do good anyway


Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough...
give the world the best you have anyway


You see, in the final analysis, it's all between you and God...
it was never between you and them anyway

Have a Merry

I have no idea what kind of time I am going to have now so I'd like to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and Hannukah and Kwanza and Boxing Day and.....

I don't have very good luck with cards ie remembering to send them or even write them. In the past, I've always felt the need to write a personal note in all my cards. Then I saw this episode on "Everybody Loves Raymond" where the gang was sitting around feeling all down about some of the Christmas letters they got. You know the ones I'm sure. The ones that go like this:

Hi Everyone,
The past year has been a great one for the BLAH BLAH clan. Our son got a 100% full scholarship to Harvard Law School. He's going to be the next Johnny Cochran I'm sure. We are so proud! My husband got a wonderful promotion so now we have finally been able to realize our dream of owning our own Swiss Chalet! Our daughter has announced her planned nuptials to the son of none other than DONALD TRUMP! OH MY! We can scarcely believe it. We have all had such great health and we are so blessed! May this season bring you wonderful blessings!

Love the Blah Blah family!

OH BARF! We have all gotten letters like that. OK seriously, you want to gag right? Especially when your year has been like MINE.

My Christmas letter:
Dear Friends and Family,
This year has really SUCKED! It started out with mass layoffs for my company. Somehow I was spared which I suppose is lucky on my part but, due to horrible mismanagement, I spent 12 hours a day in front of my computer, haven't taken a vacation since 2002 and have noticed my hair turning a nice shade of gray. I was sick all last winter with the stress, physically and emotionally. I've dealt with $2000 in car repairs, a broken furnace in the winter, a broken AC in the summer, a broken, washer, dishwasher, computer, vacuum and dryer. Then to really add insult to injury, we needed to raise the well at the cabin to the tune of $2500. We put our cat to sleep over the summer much to the devastation of the kids. After all these repairs, I've lived with $2 in my checking account for a week and my credit card magnetic strips are all totally worn out. Then to REALLY add insult to injury, the DNA donor to Emily who cheated on me with the bosses daughter and left me alone and pregnant is taking ME to court. Isn't that a hoot? It's been so much fun, I can hardly stand it. August brought the return of another blight. Kyle called out of nowhere and threatened to take me to court too if I didn't let him see his children. Well, he can just take a number! So, here I sit...Christmas is bought but not paid for. I'm in debt up to my eyeballs and just got slapped with a $3000 lawyer bill. But folks...I AM BLESSED!! BLESSED! DAMMIT! Have a rockin Christmas..I'm sure I made you all feel better with this letter. At least you know someone elses life is shittier than yours.

Peace,
Kathy

At the end of the Everyone Loves Raymond episode, Deborah, Ray, Frank and Marie were all sitting there laughing at everyones life is wonderful letters and happily tossing them into the fire. Frame mine..you may need it when you're feeling really low on life.

Now, from the bottom of my heart, I hope your holidays are wonderful. I hope that next year is better for all of us. That we all are blessed with good health. That your house isn't falling apart, your children mind you, your job rocks and your bad mistakes don't take you court.

Love to all of you and the party is at my house New Years Eve!

Whoa!

I woke up this morning and looked around the house. WHOA! IS IT A PIT TODAY! I'll have to get my little slaves working and crack that whip. I got a brand new vac!! WOOHOOO...THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY WEEK IS A NEW APPLIANCE!! What a life! But it's not any vac. It's a "Household cleaning system." I can massage my scalp with this thing too. NO LIE..it comes with a massager! It comes with an attachment for EVERYTHING, crevices, mattresses, hard wood floors, molding, ceiling fan blades, upholstery. It even de-fleas your cat if you want! It's so complicated, you have to watch a video to learn how to work it. Nope! Can't just press a button and vacuum. You have to adjust the suction for your carpet and decide if you want it on manual or drive. I've kinda hard luck with the vac's lately as I have with just about all my household appliances. I bought a supper deeee duper vac via an EBAY wholesaler but had not yet received it. SO, I'd been using my grandmothers Panasonic. Well last week, the Panasonic bit the dust or spit the dust, whichever you prefer. It started acting like a Munster vac and after pulling it apart and not finding any reason why, we had a Panasonic funeral. Of course, that left us without a vacuum cleaner and we really needed one. So Joe and I went halfsies on a temporary until the "Household cleaning system" arrived via brownshirted santa. He came back with a Dirt Devil cannister vac where you could actually SEE the dirt it was pulling up from the carpet. How profoundly COOL! It was like watching laundry spin. LOOK AT ALL THAT MUCK!!! WHOA! Check out the cat hair!! Joe did the first ceremonial dumping of the cannister in the garbage and all was good until Kristopher wanted to vacuum his room and see how much dirt he could suck up out of his carpet. Not more than one hour after buying a new "temporary" vac, a burning rubber smell wafted from Kris's room. I heard the vac go off and I went running towards the boys room. WHAT HAPPENED???? Kris was bent over the vac trying to unwedge something from the power head. My little Einstein vacuumed the power cord and it got stuck in the power head and he broke the rubber casing around the cord and it was burning and I yelled at him for being a huge dufus and not watching what he was doing and a scene ensued and Joe yelled at him and Kris spent the night pouting and telling us it wasn't his fault. The power cord must have tried to sabotage the vac. Now I have issues. Should I let him touch the new machine which cost me more than I care to admit? The thing is supposedly built like a tank but can it withstand the most destructive force since Hurricane Katrina????

In other news, the band concert was fabulous. The band and Orchestra sounded great! The kids did a combo Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanza deal of course. Just wondering, has anyone ever met one person that celebrates Kwanza?? Cassie got a good grade on her Saturn paper after the corrections of course. And work was just as annoying as ever! I have 3 whole days off next week and I just can't wait! Even though it will be spent here getting things ready for Christmas , the new C word. Any day away from AT&T is a day in bliss! I was looking on my favorite recipe site for a nice and easy Shrimp dish for our festivities and creating my shopping list. I have ONE MORE PRESENT TO BUY and I am done!

My pit awaits me! I wish myself good Vac Karma!

Tuesday Ramblings

Soo...how much bubble wrap have you popped? Remember Therapy is expensive. Bubble wrap is the cheap way to reduce your holiday stress. It's 2 weeks to Christmas and I have yelled at Emmie 1000 times to get out of the Christmas Tree, dodges 1000's of charity calls, spent my last dime and am still not done yet, have not baked a single cookie and have just decided that sometimes this season is a HO HO HEMMOROID! Not to mention that LIFE has dumped an attorney bill on me and I still need a new washer/dryer/vacuum/garage door. I LOVE IT! BRING IT ON. The funny farm is definitely where I'd rather stay. I get allergic smelling hard cold reality.

I was told to create a huge order for a client which I spent 2 hours on. Then this morning, I was told that the account codes they gave me are wrong and I need to withdraw them. THEN I got 10 emails about how the order needed to be submitted by 5pm BUT, they hadn't created the correct account codes yet. Then they created the account codes and I was told to re create the huge order. As I was going to submit it, I was told not to because the client was waffling about whether they wanted to spend this amount of money before the new year. Then an hour later, they told me to go ahead. I deal with that on a daily basis. And they say WOMEN can't make up their minds. Do you want me to order this or not??? I am being told we will have a nice bonus this year and we rightfully deserve it. AT&T is like a schizophrenic parent.

My son's HOLIDAY band concert is tonight. He goes to Public school so we can't say Christmas. Actually, I'm not 100% sure they will play any Christmas songs. As the PC world progresses, we hear more stupid songs about snowmen coming to life or melting, Rudolf's nose, Santa, and snow. So we shall see what this concert brings.

Cass had to write a paper on Saturn. I am presenting to you some of the sentences she wrote in her report before the editing.

"Saturn is interesting because it has many facts."

"From what I know, there is 31 moons, Mimas, Enceladus, Tethys, Dione, Rhea, Titan, Hyperion, Pan and Atlas and a lot more. If you know them, tell me."

"You know Saturn is the 6th planet because of the sentence "My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas." (I'm sure that's how Galileo remembered it I'm sure)

That's all folks. Have a sane night.

Something from my inbox

I'm posting this because I remember a recent dinner discussion with my kids about this very subject. Summer comes. Summer goes. Where I used to be outside, my children are inside playing SIMS. They are always bored. Back in the old neighborhood, I taught the children how to play Ghost in the Graveyard. Can you believe not ONE child had ever played it or even heard of it???? What happened to Mother May I? Kick the Can? Tag? StatueMaker? Simon Says? Gone the way of the Dodo...How things have changed. And we as a society blame McDonald's for childhood obesity. Watching my own kids, I can tell you, it's not McDonalds. IT's SIMS. IT's Star Wars Battlefront, Instant messenger, email, internet games, and 007 James Bond. IT's a lack of imagination. I remember being outside playing with my friends from around noon to dinner time and then went out again. My friends and I chased Lightning bugs. We played tag. We rode bikes. explored a corn field that was down the block (which is now an apartment complex and sofball field), caught tadpoles, built Motocross trails in open fields for our bikes, climbed trees, played barbies in the garage, played in the sandbox, ran through the sprinkler because only one person in the whole neighborhood even had a pool, played on the swingset and rode bikes to the 7-11 for a Coca Cola Slurpee. My mom usually kicked me out after lunch and I can honestly say, I rarely watched TV indoors in the Summer. Of course I WANTED to but my first neighborhood was loaded with kids and my best friend and I across the street rarely spent time inside. It didn't take long before I would forget about cartoons on Channel 32. So Kris, Cass Joe and I talked over dinner about what it was like to be a kid in the 70's and 80's. And below, in nicer words of course, is what was said. Enjoy!

Subject: Over 30 reality....
IF you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what
with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill -
BOTH ways.

yadda, yadda, yadda And I remember promising myself that when I grew
up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like
that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that...
I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and
notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared
to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but
you kids today... you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when
I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know
something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves,
in the card catalog!! There was no email! We had to actually write
somebody a letter ... with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way
across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a
week to get there!
There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had
to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or
you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd
usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! And talk of about
hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had to steal it from
your brother or bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of
"Hustler" at the 7-11! Those were your options! We didn't have fancy
crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else
called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy
Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it
was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your
bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!!
You
had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like
"Space Invaders" and "asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy
was a little square!

You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple
levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could
never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster
and faster until you
died! ... Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there was no such thing as stadium
seating!
All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad
with a
hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15
channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You
had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off
your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was
no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday
Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for
cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards! And we didn't have
microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove
or go build a frigging fire ...Imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we
had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove
forever like an idiot. That's exactly what I'm talking about! You
kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled.

You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!
Regards,

-The over 30 Something crowd!

Merry Christmas Dammit

GAH! More snow. It's supposed to snow all weekend. What fun! Going out and scraping my car is such a joy. I can't believe how quickly Christmas is coming up. IS anyone done shopping? It's been such a busy few weeks, I can't even find time to do ONLINE shopping. I brought the kids to get their portraits taken. It's always a good time especially when your precocious toddler won't sit for the portraits, kicks, screams and causes a ruckus. But, it all came out well in the end. Once she realized that people applauded her when she sat still, I couldn't get her out of there. She was posing like a model after awhile. Last weekend saw Cassie's 11th birthday on top of it all. We had a nice weekend planned for her which included theater tickets to see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and of course, it was snowing. Any good Chicagoan knows that when it snows, people drive reallllllyyyy slooooowwwwwww. We sat in stop and go traffic all the way to the city. Stupid snow! The show was fun though. Darn music has been going through my head allllllll week. To top it all off, the restaurant we chose lost their liquor license. What's Italian food without a nice glass of Merlot?????? Ah well..a good time was had by all...I think. Thursday, I went to Cassie's "Holiday" play. It's OK to say Happy Kwanza and Happy Hannukah but Merry Christmas is just not acceptable in Chicago these days. So, Cassie's play was cute and oh so politically correct. Now seriously, her play covered the history of Kwanza and the miracle of the oil that gave birth to the celebration of Hannukah, why couldn't they mention that Christmas is...dare I say it...a celebration of the birth of..here goes.. JESUS! OH MY! I SAID IT! THE J WORD! TABOOOOOOOOO!!!! So sick of this I am.. Every Christmas around here it's the same garbage. No one can mention Christmas. No one can talk about anything except Santa Claus, that non denominational, holiday figure. I understand mulitculturalism but I have never been offended by anyone talking about Ramadan, Hannukah, Kwanza, Siva, Vishnu or the Buddha in my presence. It certainly didn't make me feel excluded. Nor was I going to run to the nearest Temple or Mosque and switch Religions. I am Catholic. Born Catholic. Raised Catholic and no matter what anyone says, I have never been able to stop being Catholic. Seeing a dreidle or Menorrah sure isn't going to change it either. (If I spelled those wrong, I am sorry) Nor I have never known one Jewish, Islamic, Buddhist, etc. friend of mine to be offended at the mention of Christmas or a Christian friend to be offended by Hannukah. So I would like to know, WHO IS COMPLAINING? AND GET OVER YOURSELVES!!!!!!! End of rant. MERRY CHRISTMAS! Back to the play. It was politically correct. THe hightlight was when someones kid brother jumped the kid playing Santa Claus and gave him a punch in the belly. HEE HEE... An embarrassed parent did try to restrain the child to no avail. I missed getting it on video because I was focusing the camera on Cassie as if anyone wanted to see her anyway. :) Well that is all for now. I have to scrape my car, then move it off the street before the dang snowplow comes.

A Wisconsin/Arizona Snow Diary

This seemed appropriate as it is snowing outside and our first significant snowfall of the year. In looking for another tidbit online today, I came across this. I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone: the cold birds up here in the Midwest and the Snowbirds down there in the bowels of Hell..I mean Arizona.

Diary Of Wisconsin & Arizona

Dear Diary:

August 2: Moved to our new home in Wisconsin. It is so beautiful here. The forests are so serene and picturesque. Can hardly wait to see them all covered with snow. God's Country. I love it here!

October 14: Wisconsin is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turning and beginning to color. I love the bright shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through a beautiful forest and spotted some deer. They are so graceful. They are certainly the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise!

November 11: Deer Season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquillity. Hope it will snow soon. I really love it here!

December 2: It finally snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looks just like a postcard. We went outside and cleared the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won) and when the snow plow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Mother Nature in perfect harmony. I love Wisconsin.

December 12: More snow last night. I love it. The snow-plow did his trick again (that rascal). A winter wonderland, but pretty cold!

December 19: More snow last night. Couldn't even get out of the driveway to get to work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling this stuff. Darn that old snow-plow!

December 22: More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters from shoveling this crap. I think the snow plow man hides around the curve and waits until I'm done shoveling the damn driveway, then he plows the fucking street, the Asshole!

December 25: "White Christmas" my busted ass! More fucking snow. If I ever get my hands on the son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I will castrate the stupid bastard. Why don't they use more salt on the roads to melt all this ice.

December 28: Guess what? More white shit fell last night. Been inside since Christmas fucking day except for shoveling out the driveway every time the "Snow Plow from Hell" comes by. Can't go anywhere, the car's buried in a mountain of frozen white shit. The weatherman says to expect another 10" tonight. Do you know how many shovels- full of white shit 10" is?

January 1: Happy Fucking New Year! The weatherman was wrong. We got 34" of the white shit this time. At this rate, it won't melt until the 4th of July. The snow plow got stuck up the road and the shithead driver had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him I'd already broken 6 shovels digging out from under all the white shit he pushes back into my driveway and broke my last shovel over his God damned head.

January 4: Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food. On the way back a God damned deer ran in front of the car and I hit the fucker. Did about $3000 damage to the car. Those worthless deer shit-dropping road hazards should be exterminated. Wish the fucking hunters had killed them all last November.

May 3: Took the new car to the garage in town. Would you believe the body is rusting out from all that fucking salt they dumped on the roads all winter. My car looks like a piece of shit!

July 1: Moved to Arizona! I can't imagine why anyone on their right mind would ever move to that God Forsaken State of Wisconsin.

July 2: Saw a wonderful sunset this evening. I now understand "Purple Mountains Majesty". Why do people live anywhere but here?

July 3: A lightning storm came last night. The sky was all lit. It was truly awesome! This morning the sky is "transparent". I can see into Mexico. Arizona is a phenomenal state!

July 4: Now this is a state that knows how to live. Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and desert blended together, what a place. Watched the fireworks at the park laying out on a blanket. It was glorious! I've finally found my home.

July 5: Really heating up, got to 100 today, not a problem, live in an air conditioned home and drive an air conditioned car. Life's full of tradeoffs. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.

July 7: Had the back yard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today but I love it here.

July 10: The temperature has not been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat. At least it's a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking a little longer than I expected.

July 15: Fell asleep at poolside, got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed two days work. What a dumb thing to do. I've learned my lesson! I really respect the old Sun in a climate like this.

July 20: I missed Tabby our cat sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had swollen to the size of a shopping bag and exploded over $2000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids she ran away. The car now smells like kibbles and shit. No more pets in this heat.

July 25: Dry Fucking Heat my Ass. Hot is hot! I'd be cooler living in my oven. The home air conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman wants $200 just to drive by and tell me he needs to order parts.

July 30: Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1100 fucking dollar house payment and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

August 4: 117 degrees. Finally got the air conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and can only cool the house down to 90. Stupid ass Mexican repairman pissed in my pool. I hate this fucking state.

August 8: If another shithead cracks, "Hot enough for ya today", I'm going to tear his fucking throat out. Arizona is hot! By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are dripping wet with sweat and I smell like roasted fucking Garfield.

August 10: The weather report might as well be a recording. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to fuck for 2 stinking months. And the weatherman says it might really warm up this weekend. Doesn't it ever rain in the barren damn desert!

August 19: Welcome to Hell! Temperature got to 128 degrees today. Forgot to crack a window and blew the fucking windshield out of the Lincoln. The Mexican installer came to fix it, and said, "Hot enough for ya today." My wife had to spend the stinking $1100 house payment to bail me out of jail.

August 30: Hottest day of the God damn summer. I'm not even leaving the house. Water rationing has been in effect all summer so the $1700 worth of my "low maintenance" cactus in the yard just dried up and blew into the fucking pool Even a cactus can't live in this heat! I can't cool off in the pool now! The pool is full of fucking needles and every fucking time I fucking attempt to clean the fucking cactus needles out of the fucking pool filter I shred my fucking hands.
That does it, we're moving back to Wisconsin in time for deer season!

Don't hit Santa!

Elf Snowball Fight

Here's a little thing to do while you blow off your work as I am doing at this moment.. but JUST for a moment.

Merry Christmas

Wouldn't you like to do this to someone?

Snow Globe
I have been so busy! Hope you're surviving the cold and this Christmas season. It's a frigid -3 degrees here in the Chicago area. BRRRRR.

I am really tired

Tired! Tired! Tired!.. After 4 days off, back to work UGH! It was really the same stuff. At the moment, I am not feeling inspired but I do have some stories. My kids are such and endless source of entertainment in such an annoying way. Tonight, we were watching the local Public station. I am a huge fan of Broadway musicals and WTTW, our local PBS, was doing clips from the many years of the Tony awards. I made the mistake of a) sitting and b) enjoying myself. About five minutes later, the sounds of Cassie and Kristopher fighting downstairs, the the usual plod up the stairs from Cassie and she was crying about something. I only heard "blah blah blah Kris. Something something not fair." And a few minutes later,up the stairs came Mister innocent with a completely different accounting. Of course I wasn't in the room and didn't see who started what or who kicked who or who was annoying first. I was just annoyed that I can't watch anything, read anything, work on anything without the sounds of two kids fighting in the background. It's like the soundtrack of my life. WAR! GOOD GOD YA ALL! WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?..ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! SAY IT AGAIN! So, me being the great mom that I am, went to the bathroom and closed the door and there I stayed. Everytime a kid said something, I turned the water on. I figured they would get bored and go away eventually. BUT CASSIE TRICKED ME!!! I opened the door after 10 minutes or so in an attempt to sneak back to my comfy chair, and the minute she heard the door open, SHE POUNCED! ARGH! That was my evening! So now, I am sitting here just enjoying the fact that the kids are in bed. Yes, I know I should go there myself but these moments to myself are so few and far between that is seems like such a waste not to take advantage of it.

Nite all!

We need a womans version!

World's Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"
The girl said,"NO!" And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and farted whenever he wanted.

The day after

I have to share this because it's so darn funny! Today at lunch, as we were eating our leftover turkey (Of course), the kitchen was cleaned up and we were relaxing. I had Kristopher take the garbage to the garage. When he got back, he saw us eating something and started griping he was still hungry. The kid is ALWAYS hungry.. You know he ate pretty much all day yesterday from dusk till dawn but I digress. I said if you really want something, go have one of those tangerines. Kris is a menace with the rinds though. They never hit the garbage and I've been sweeping them up all over the house so I was giving him a little static about being messy with the things and this time to make sure that ALL the rinds hit the garbage can and if he threw them in the garbage without a bag I'd be angry. I meant a GARBAGE bag because he had just taken the garbage to the garage and of course did not put in a new bag. The picture says it all.
On another note:
I hope everyone had a really nice Thanksgiving. The buzzword of ours was LAZY and we were! It was soooo nice. After Halloween, we were all trying to figure out if we were going to do a potluck or go out. What we decided on was to do neither. We did Thanksgiving ala Boston Market and it was DEFINITELY the best choice. 5 minutes it took me to order the whole thing..Turkey, stuffing, taters and gravy, cranberry sauce, rolls and pie. The cost was about what I would spend if I bought all the ingredients at the store and the time it took to prepare everything equaled the time it took me to go there and pick it up and warm it up. We didn't miss out on a thing and have plenty of leftovers. Clean up time equaled the time it took to throw all the Chinet plates in the garbage. But they were special holiday Chinet plates. Today..well I murphy oil soaped the wood furniture and cabinets, vacuumed up crushed pretzels in the carpet and straightened up the kitchen. A lot of people have a holiday tradition to go shopping today. My holiday tradition is to avoid the store at all costs from now until January. I think it's a good tradition! No circling the parking lot for an hour looking for a spot in BFI, no crowds, no screaming kids, no Salvation Army Santas, no people pushing me out of the way for the $20 dollar DVD player, no one stepping on my feet, no lines, no stroller traffic no getting up at 5am and waiting in a line outside the size of the Great Wall of China. NO THANK YOU! I have discovered the joy of online shopping and that is what I'll stick to. Yeah! Yeah!..I know the best sales at the store blah blah blah. What I save in stress and annoyance is something you just can't put a price on, not even for a $10 sweater at Old Navy. Click Click Click and send! VOILA...Christmas delivered UPS man, my brown shirted Santa Claus! Have a great "Black Friday!" I'm sitting at home in my jammies NYAH NYAH

I would just...

Like to take this opportunity to wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I for one, have already started on Holiday Spirits! May you do the same and find something in your life to be really thankful for.

I am thankful right now..Thankful that it's Wednesday. I have a cold beer. I am done working for the night and EMILY IS WITH GRANDMA!!! Which means, I'm going to the movies to see Welcome Back Potter! er um..Harry Potter.

Wingardium Leviosa! and Happy Holiday to you all!
I am leaving you with a Thanksgiving recipe that has been in my family for many years. I shouldn't even be posting it but I feel like sharing

How to cook your Thanksgiving Turkey!


Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 350 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16: Floor the turkey up off the pick
Step 17: Turk the carvey
Step 18: Get yourself another wottle of biskey
Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out

Can you say STRESSSSSSS?

Hello reader.. I know there's one of you out there.. AH YES! I see you in the back. "Helloooooo" *waves*
So, here it is, the week before Thanksgiving. Please remind me, and I know you will, to take this week OFF next year! As I am the official departmental backup, I am backing up not 1...not 2...but 3 people tomorrow. Today, I received over 100 emails that all started out the same... "I know that so and so is out and since your his/her backup, can you resolve this in an hour?" I had one hour of power training on Thursday to learn to do some reports but today, I had to find equipment I never heard of from vendors I didn't know existed.

I sat down to do these reports Friday and SURPRISE! SURPRISE! SURPRISE! it didn't work for me and there was no one to ask. SOOO, my day was spent fighting with the reports and databases and they just didn't get done. I still don't know why 3 of them won't run for me. I did figure out why one of them wouldn't. You want to know why? BECAUSE I HAD A STUPID DASH IN THE WRONG &%#*) PLACE!!! AN ALL DAY DEBACLE OVER A &%)* DASH!!!! That report did go out this morning though and I am DAMN proud of myself. To top it off, Emily was a really big pain in the patutie. Has anyone tried to fight with Microsoft Access and a 19 month old at the same time? I wouldn't recommend it. When Emily doesn't like a food, the plate or bowl goes flying. My kitchen has been christened with a bowl of Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal, a hot dog and a plate full of chicken and mashed potatoes and I am almost the ex mother of a 19 month old girl. I put ME in time out three times today. Now if only someone would just send me to my room....

I am SO not sure this is a good idea

I bought Emily a toy piano today for Christmas. I keep thinking that decision will blow up in my face but the musical toys have been a HUGE hit with the little girl. Silently, I am absolutely LOVING the fact that my child likes music. Actually, all my children like music. Kristopher is quite a decent young trumpet player. Cass is very impressive on her clarinet for the short time she's been playing. Emily carries around a toy called "Mozart Magic Cube" and played with it so much, it only works sometimes. From a young age, I've tried to introduce the kids to different music knowing full well that eventually they'll fall into the Brittney Christina Carey pop music trap and all that manufactured, overly marketed, digitized music with stars with less than an ounce of talent because that is what is cool! It is happening with Cassie who is all about some boring group called "Simple Plan" YAWN! BUT, when her friends aren't around, I catch her listening to Broadway music, Norah Jones kind of Jazz, and Classic Rock. This is proof, I have done my job! I will continue on introducing them to as many different forms of music as I can but please...NO COUNTRY MUSIC!! El Yucko! They know Johnny Cash and that's all they need to know of the genre.
SOOO to make a short story long, a little 30 key Spinet piano will be arriving to introduce my youngest to the world of musicianship. You can see the piano here.

There really is no other news. I plan on spending my Saturday night cleaning out the fridge. Whoopeeeee!!! I'm just waiting for my youngest little terror to go to bed as absolutely NOTHING gets done when she's awake.

PS The purple crayon marks came off the TV screen fairly easily, thank goodness!

There are purple crayon marks on my TV screen. EMILY!!!!!!!!

The Ebay Song

The Ebay Song

HA HA!
Enjoy!

Cassie's latest tantrum!

The vet called today to remind me that I have yet to pick up my cat, CC's ashes. It's not that I didn't love my cat or don't miss the little guy. It's that my kitty has gone to kitty heaven and I've been comfortable with just the memories of what a little pain in the butt he was. Of course, after the vet called, there was some discussion as to where we were going to put the ashes. Kris wanted them in the LIVING ROOM! Argh..no. No ashes. That is just a disaster waiting to happen around here. I told him we would figure it out when we picked them up and they would probably be in his room somewhere. The ashes DO come in a decorative tin after all. Well, that caused Cassie's little head to spin around 360 degrees. "MOM! I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING OF CC's..IT'S NOT FAIR. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!" She then went to Kris's room and snagged CC's collar that Kris keeps on his desk. I told her to put it back. She stomped. She screamed. She cried. SHE WENT TO HER ROOM! Glory be for a little peace and quiet for all of about 5 minutes! I should add CC was more Kristophers buddy. For some reason, the little black buddy bonded with the boy more so than Cass or me and it was Kris who took CC's illness and death the hardest. It only seemed logical to me that he keep the cats ashes. But to Cassie, things were just UNFAIR. Kris has the collar! SHE should have the ashes. I am thinking of grinding up some prozac into the childs juice box. Anyhoo... Kristopher presented me with the following note from Cassie. I hope it amuses you as much as it amused me.

It was folded about 15 times and the outside fold said

"To my family. Give it to mom afterwards."

The body of the note said this:
Dear Everyone,
I miss CC.and the fact that I don't have anything of him is rude. In fact whose bed did he sleep on first. Who was his first buddy and whose ears did he kiss first. That's right! ME! I miss him. Each of you write back!
PS I should have signed up for rainbows.
Love,
Cassie

OK.. what is it with the note thing? For an hour or so, she asked if I was going to write her back. "No!" I said. "You're sitting right there. Why should I write you a note?"

At this point, Emily is so much easier! I am going to enjoy it everyday because one day, she'll go psycho on me too as all little girls do. It's easy to determine what she wants. She wants juice or a cookie. She wants to take a nap or sit on my lap. Cassie, OY! Try explaining anything to this child and she doesn't even know what she wants half the time. EVERYTHING is an issue and she has this tit for tat, eye for an eye sense of justice. TO her, fair is 50/50. The big picture gets lost. If Kris has the collar, she should have the ashes...period! If Kris has two pieces of chicken at dinner and she only has one, then she feels she is entitled to the leftovers. It's only fair right? Even though she eats like a bird and Kris is 12 and would eat the plate the food is served on if he could. Her black and white thinking scares me. There are no shades of gray and that will get her into trouble as she experiences more of life.

Peace and all that...!

A good idea??

A couple of days ago, I was listening to talk radio on WLS and the topic of discussion was a bakery in NY that many moms were protesting due to the fact that the owner put a handwritten sign on the door that stated that children should use their "indoor" voices when visiting the bakery. That caused quite an UPROAR with some moms who just don't want to waste time monitoring their childrens behavior in a public place. Perhaps the owner would have been more effective with a sign like this on his door. What do you think?

Thanks Bill in GA for sending that. I got quite a laugh!

Peace!

I'm bored. Thrill me!

What a totally, boring, non-eventful, absolutely nothing going on kinda day. AND,it was the kind of Fall day I don't like to boot, all rainy and cold and dreary. I had some trouble staying focused on my job and found myself off in space many times. One positive thing, Emmie went to daycare so it was a Doodlebop-less day which was nice! For those that aren't familiar with Playhouse Disney and the Doodlebops
this should say it all. SIDENOTE: Some girls think the dude with the orange hair is HOT! That fact gives me comfort. If a bunch of girls/women/teens can drool all over a guy with orange hair, there is hope for me. They are slightly less annoying than Barney. And, no one thought BARNEY was hot so that's another in the Doodles favor. Orange dude beats purple dinosaur hands down! Now we could say something about the purple teletubbie but I will not go in that direction. OK! I'm being silly..silly and bored.

I had a huge taste for baked chicken so I grabbed some drumsticks out of the fridge. I love chicken! It's a busy moms dream. There isn't anything you can do to it that will ruin it. Today, I basted it with butter seasoned with sage, poultry seasoning , salt, pepper and some Turkey seasoning I bought from Williams and Sonoma and baked it in a pan with some white wine, water and onions for about 45 minutes. It was REALLY good for a throw together meal that took me all of 15 minutes to prepare. I like to dabble a bit sometimes with dinner and find I really like to cook when I have the time but most days, it's whatever is in the freezer with whatever is on hand, mixed up, baked or broiled and that's what we call dinner. I have gotten some really good ideas on Epicurious They are a great source of recipes including the best ideas from Gourmet, Bon Appetite and from readers themselves. Always read the reviews as there are some great ideas from other cooks to make the dishes even better. I usually cook Christmas Eve dinner and I do enjoy planning it, reviewing recipes, shopping and cooking it.

I will leave you with a joke sent by my friend in GA. It cracked me up! I apologize if you've seen before.

Daily Wisdom:
WICOE

(Women In Charge Of Everything)


is proud to announce the opening of its


EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!



ALL ARE WELCOME



OPEN TO MEN ONLY



Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each
course
will accept a maximum of eight participants

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course
include:


DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR
DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the

house upside down while screaming - Open forum


DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR
HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL
PARKS?
Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND
YOUR
PARTNER
Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE
LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE
TIME
Individual counselors available

Coming up with new titles is getting difficult.

Here it is another Sunday. I'm taking a little break as I did about 5 loads of wash, cleaned the kitchen floor and spot cleaned the carpet to remove the new puke stains from one very active little toddler girl. It seemed like a good idea today as she is off with her grandparents visiting her other side of the family. All in all, it's been a very unexciting week and very uneventful. A few have asked what is going on with the court case. For those that don't know me or are unsure of the background, you can read the story here. I was served with court papers back in June, ME, can you believe that? B. possibly thought this was a way to really screw me. I don't know. Possibly perhaps he doesn't know either but at the time that he served the papers (which had Em's birthday and address WRONG by the way) it must have SEEMED like a good idea. However, we are all just laughing at his superior intellect. One of my friends asks me every time, "What does he want again?" To which I reply, "No one really knows." Other than a few status hearings, there wasn't much movement until just recently.
My attorney called the day before our last status hearing to let me know that there was a change in the location. Previously, the attorneys were going downtown which is 30 miles from here which is very strange considering there is a local circuit court not more than 5 miles from here. He also asked me if B. was indeed the father of my youngest. HUH? I said, Yes! I never denied that. My attorney said..OK just checking because B. had told his attorney that I was going to deny it in court. I honestly have no idea where this guy comes up with this stuff as in my response to his initial petition, I didn't deny anything. He asked me how long it's been since he's seen the child which was last August 04. He asked me if B. called and asked for visititation since the last time he's seen her. Well, no not really. He's called to tell me he was taking me to court like 3 times and ONE time he wanted to know if he and his parents could take her to see his grandmother and I did send her. My attorney told me that the judge was getting impatient with the slow movement of the case and I should, in a token of good faith, get things moving along a little. We were going to ask for temporary support which would remain in effect until the conclusion of the case and I, to be fair, should offer him visitation, supervised in his parents home for a few hours each week. GAK!! I reluctantly agreed. I may as well get used to it AND make it work in my favor somehow. You know what they say about lemons and lemonade. As of yet, I have not heard anything on this offer of mine. I received an email from B's mom asking for a copy of the birth certificate so that he can give it to his insurance company. I replied well, he's not on the Birth certificate as he didn't bother to show up for the birth or to the hospital which may mean the insurance co won't accept it. And if he wants anything from me, he can ask me himself. What a pussy! I'm all of 5'4. He's 6'4 and has 100 lbs on me. What am I going to do to him? Kick him in the shins to death? Bite his kneecaps? But, he did write me and I did answer him and I haven't heard anything about it since. We do have to go to a notary and do this together. Yay!
My attorney wrote up a proposed settlement which I am reviewing and making corrections. I will call the lawyer tomorrow and figure out a time to go in and modify the proposal and we will take it from there. That is the end of the update. In other news, my kids broke my vacuum cleaner. A word from the wise: DO NOT VACUUM WATER unless the vac is a wet/dry of course. Engine POOF! So, on the shopping list is now:
1 vacuum cleaner broken by who knows..Kris and Cass both deny it.
1 dryer which is still not drying correctly even after de-linting it.
1 washing machine - you all know the story.
1 charcoal grill broken by son who ran his bike into it
1 garage door which is trashed due to the same reason as above
1 gas grill which has been home to a bunch of hornets for 2 years now.
We are the entropy family! For those not familiar with the concept of entropy, it's the theory in Chemistry that matter tends to revert back to its most disorganized state. In other words, things fall apart and they are ALWAYS falling apart around here with a little help from my kids, the most destructive forces known to man! Beware hurricane Katrina! I introduce to you Hurricanes Kristopher, Cassandra and Emily. Please notify the Red Cross. A little assistance is needed here!

Take care everyone and here are words of wisdom for today. I had this on my desk at work for many years.

Accept Change with a Smile

Sooner or later a crisis will enter your life, and how you meet it determines your future happiness and success. Since the beginning of time, everyone has been called upon to meet such a crisis.

A closer look will show you that most "crisis situations" are opportunities to either advance or stay where you are. Indeed most changes in your life will take place out of either "inspiration" or "desperation."

Whatever comes your way, give it meaning and transform it into something of value. Your personal growth is the process of responding positively to change.

A precious stone cannot be polished without friction, nor humanity perfected without trials.

Author Unknown

I apologize for the downtime

Well, that was very odd.
This blog could not be viewed via IE for awhile there. I apologize for the downtime but the problem was my template. I usually use Firefox and was able to view everything and therefore did not notice. For some reason Microsoft Internet Explorer got picky about something and kabashed the whole thing.
Whoops. Darn computers!

And now some wisdom!
Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of
falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the
ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think >something
is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to
wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb
all the way to the top of the tree. Share this with other women who are
good apples, even those who have already been picked!
Now Men....
Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to
stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to
have dinner with.

And now a word from my sensitive side.

Please don't tell anyone I have one. As far as you are concerned, I am a BITCH! (Babe in Total Control of Herself)So, here it is, my sensitive side presents:

BEFORE I WAS A MOM

Before I was a Mom, I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.

I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
Before I was a Mom

I cleaned my house each day.

I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.

I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom I had never been puked on.

Pooped on. Spit on.

Chewed on.

Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.

I slept all night.



Before I was a Mom

I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests.

Or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.



Before I was a Mom

I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.



And before I was a Grandma (I'm not a grandma but it's part of the essay so bear with me)

I didn't know that all those "Mom" feelings more than doubled!

My cynical side sez:
Before I was a mom, I had trim hips and thighs.
Before I was a mom, I still didn't sleep all night because I was out.
Before I was a mom...ah forget it! SHHHH...I wouldn't trade them for anything but don't let them know that.

DAMN!

I would just like to reiterate my major loathing for spyware.
Yesterday, my son downloaded WINFIXER quite accidentally. This is so incredibly difficult to get rid of as it bundles with other advertising software and has many many components. Norton couldn't isolate it nor could any of my spyware blasters. I tried a manual removal in a DOS window but I CAN'T GET ACCESS TO THE FILE! I refuse to call GEEK SQUAD..I JUST REFUSE! Especially since I am, by all accounts, a geek myself. I will figure this out and open my own spyware removal business, make lots of money and retire.. HA HA. I think I need Joe's REFRIDGETOR ice cube trays of death to help me out.
If anyone has anything that works, please let me know. I have tried Microsoft Beta, Spybot Search and Destroy, Ad-aware and Norton Antivirus. All have proved fruitless. NOW, it's personal! I'm aware of the geek forum and tech guy who all recommend downloading HiJack this and about 6 other applications, reboot in safe mode, change a bunch of crap, wave a wand, do a dance and restart the computer twice and Voila! It's all gone. Just too much technical stuff for my brain to handle. I must run for the present. I have a focus group tonight so I must go focus. Then, I will attack the spyware with impunity. It will be gone! OH YES! It will be gone!

EDITED TO ADD: The damn thing is still there BUT, in my defense, I didn't have time last night to work on it. All I did was download some online spyware deathray and we shall see.

A short joke that cracked me up

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his
wedding anniversary. His wife told him "Tomorrow there
better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat". The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.

What's the point?

Ahhh Sunday night, the pre-cursor to Monday morning and unfortunately it's another five days to next Saturday. I don't really have anything exciting planned. I just like the idea of not getting up early to work. But it's not like I get to sleep late. Miss Emmie is usually wide awake by 7:30 whether it's a weekend or not. I just like the idea of getting up and sitting on my butt in front of the computer with my cup of coffee (I LOVE COFFEE!) and relaxing!

What did I accomplish today? Nada! Well, I did wash the kitchen floor which was sticky with spilled beer and juice. It stayed clean for all of about 5 minutes before Emily decided her hot dog was a totally unacceptable lunch and dumped it on the floor and then Cass followed that up by being especially messy making her lunch too. Bathroom is clean, dusting done, vaccumming is done and 4 loads of laundry. What a day! What a life! Is it this mundane for everyone? I didn't feel left out of anything though. It's rainy and cold and it was perfect for lounging in jammies and watching movies on Lifetime and that's exactly what I did and I LIKED IT! I added a little google search bar to my blog just in case I bore my reader and she really needs to leave for somewhere in a super hurry! Give it a whirl! I think I got it to work right :)

The point of this post..? There isn't one. I just wanted an excuse to post a pic of the kids on Halloween! Enjoy!

Kinda fun

http://www.alphadictionary.com/articles/yankeetest.html
Yankee Test-- I thought this was kinda interesting and since I had nothing better to do on a Saturday night, I discovered that I am indeed a Yank. Who woulda thunk?

A few things that piss me off

1) I hate spyware. I hate spyware. I hate spyware and did I mention I hate spyware? I have wasted more time trying to remove that crap from my computer that I want a credit at the end of my life for all that time wasted because some pimply faced teenager can't get a date and needs something to do with himself. Something downloaded onto my PC the other day that would not allow me to launch my browser. After 4 hours and 4 downloads of different spyware blasters, I finally found one that worked and it wasn't free :(.



2) I finally bought myself a dishwasher..YAY!!! Got a good deal at Sears believe it or not on a spiffy white Maytag. I finally got sick of putting my hand in a sink full of greasy, disgusting water that no one drained after they did the dishes. I HATE THAT! So, in the morning before I make my coffee, part of that ritual is to drain the sink just so I can empty the remaining cold coffee down and rinse out the pot. YUCK

3) I hate the F"N blue screen of death!!! Damn microsoft!

4) I hate it when the someone actually brings the full garbage bag to the garage but doesn't put a new bag in. GRRRRR...

5) Hello people!~ What is so difficult about replacing the toilet paper roll and why do we insist on leaving it on the sink so the paper gets all wet? HUH? Is it so difficult to put it on the toilet paper thingy??

6) WHY IS THERE A MILK CARTON IN THE FRIDGE WITH ENOUGH MILK IN IT TO FILL A THIMBLE?

7) Doesn't it seem like whatever lane you're in, the other one moves faster? And why is it that I always seem to get caught driving behind someone going about 20 miles under the speed limit about 1 mile before my exit?

8) Why doesn't anyone put the cap back on the toothpaste?

9) IF YOU MISS THE GARBAGE CAN WHILE PRETENDING TO BE MICHAEL JORDAN, PICK UP THE DAMN GARBAGE FROM THE FLOOR AND TRY AGAIN. DO NOT LEAVE IT ON THE FLOOR!

This post will be edited as I find more little annoyances.

Another round

*Sigh* with the lice. I really hate them and once again, Cass has brought them home with her. The only difference is this time, she's the only one who has them though, I did have to treat everyones hair again last night. I honestly do not know what to do. I suspect that she is getting them from her very good friend and I hate to put my foot down and tell her she can't go over there anymore but on the other hand, all the lice treatments are so expensive. Shampoo, spray, combs, nit removal gel costs me $30 a pop to treat all of us. I don't want to embarrass this family either. They've been pretty good to Cass. Suggestions? Should I write Dear Abby? More laundry is going to the laundromat today, more vacumming will be done, and once again, the pillows are bagged for a few weeks. Well that's that and it has to be done. I just don't know how to stop her from bringing these critters home with her. Then of course, to add REAL insult to injury, Emmie pooped in her tub last night while I was given her a bath.

Halloween night went well. The kids brought back about 45lbs of candy. They were on a mission! Ironically, the dentist that lives in this area has a reputation of giving out the best candy. A little incentive for his business perhaps??? Things that make you go HMMMMMM? I made my usual two pots of chili, had plenty of cold beer and had Emily provide her usual entertainment. She was dressed as a little devil this year and she played her part so beautifully by having two HUGE hissy fits before we hit the neighborhood. I took her to a few houses but grandma and grandpa took her for the majority. She wanted to walk by herself and apparantly, after a few houses, she caught on that when you knock on a door, SOMEONE GIVES YOU CANDY!!! So, she knocked on every door herself. As soon as we upload pics, I'll post some.

In other news, there is no other news. I'm off work today and about to get my butt off this chair and do something useful. I have to take Kris downtown later and I'm finally buying that new dishwasher YAY! My two dishwashers (Kris and Cass) do a really bad job so, I'm trashing them for a new model.

Happy Halloween

The title says it all. My children have returned with at least 30 lbs of candy. Let the sugar high begin!!

Another weekend gone..

And, I guess I did accomplish most of what I set out to accomplish. Carpet in the LR/DR is now cleaned, Chilli for tomorrow is made, some laundry is done, I got my weekly workout pushing a cart that weighed about 200 lbs at Sam's Club (Has anyone walked out of Sam's club with a cart that weighs less than 200lbs? Just curious.) and my kids made it through another weekend with their uncle and managed to stay alive.

I had a minor scare. Most know my appliance woes and I now have an older model washing machine (I would say about 60 in Washer years) that I will use until it too dies and goes to the Mexican guys that drive through my neighborhood daily looking for old appliances to take from the curb. My last load of wash was still soaking wet so I set the washing machine to spin it out again and was met with the smell of burning rubber and then noticced the darn thing wasn't spinning to boot. Ok..bad Karma...Karma very bad lately ESPECIALLY with washing machines and I couldn't believe I killed two in one month. After ringing out about half that pile of wash, and throwing it into the dryer, I made my way to Sam's, drove around the parking lot for a half hour looking for a parking spot, did my thing went home and dealt with the rest of the wash. As I was pulling soaking wet laundry out of the machine, I noticed that a sock had gotten wedged tightly between the drum and the wall of the washer. I felt a little hope as I unwedged the sock (Which of course was MY sock because I have bad washing machine Karma) and re-ran the spin cycle. YAY! it worked..Ahh those little everyday victories! OK yes, it is positively boring in reality that the most interesting part of my entire weekend was a mutilated sock but what can I say? It's just my life.

This past Thursday (I'm backtracking), I bowled my usual league. My lanes are located across the street from a fairly well known adult book store which is open 24 hours and is a popular male hangout. At least, I am guessing it's mostly male as I've never seen a woman walk in there but anyway..There in the parking lot were about 15 minivans. What I want to know is, what did these guys tell their wives they were doing? Working late, watching "football", having drinks with the buds, stopping at the store for diapers? I had a good laugh. I mean, minivan=family guy=kids=carseats in the back of the van while daddy was looking at naked ladies or um..maybe even naked men. Hee! hee!

RANT OF THE DAY

Even when my ex husband isn't around, he's still a manipulator. The kids heard from their grandfather that Kyle is upset that they haven't called him. AHHHHHHH! OK they have a letter that has a bunch of his promises, one being "I promise I'll do better at keeping in touch!" Why does this person seem to thing that we have to come to him? He screwed up. He should be the one DOING something.

END OF RANT

That about covers it.
Have a Happy Halloween everyone! I'll be looking for the pictures of all the cool costumes in my inbox!

THINGS MY KIDS DO THAT DRIVE ME CRAZY!!!

For those of you who have never seen Bill Cosby's "Himself", it is SUCH a must see for any parent and oh so true. God is the ultimate jokester and we can see it especially in our children. Sense of humor is such a necessity to deal with God and His little creations. Let's face it, it takes a special kind of person to have children and NOT go totally insane. Bill said that all children are BRAIN DAMAGED! My kids are LOADED with Brain damage...it's EVERYWHERE I LOOK! I am a single parent of three children and am happy to announce that I have been on Prozac for YEARS and am feeling MUCH better now.

Why is it that every single light must be on? Are children blind? Every where they go, they leave a light on. It just doesn't matter if it's broad daylight with bright sun, there's a light on. It doesn't matter if they are not in the room, there is a light on. I watch my son and daughter as they move through the house, flicking a light on in every room they go and of course, the light stays on when they leave. Actually, I think that carries through in everything. This past summer, my son Kris had the responsibility of watering the flowers. Needless to say turning OFF the hose after he was done was a particular challenge. One day, we noticed a nice puddle in the backyard so deep there was a duck swimming in it. Since the summer had been dry and there had been a steady rain during the night, I thought maybe the ground was just way too hard to absorb the water. That was until my brother discovered that the hose had been left on since the last time Kris watered the plants...2 DAYS! I'm happy to announce that finally 3 months later, I have the water bill ALMOST paid off.

Which leads me to the second thing--throwing things away and why does it never happen?
After a child takes a bandaid in my house, the box is left on the counter and the little plastic strip thingy's are still left there on the bathroom sink. Yes, the garbage can is right next to the sink so there is no way I have erroneously expected my children to walk a few feet. After one of my children feeds the cat, there on the counter, is an empty can of catfood with a fork in it. Empty milk containers, empty cereal boxes, cookie boxes, are either left next to the garbage or put back into the pantry. Throw it away??? Never. Perhaps they are thinking that if they put those things back, the rest of us will not notice that they are empty. Perhaps they are just not thinking at all. My daughter when she cleans her room does not throw away used kleenex, candy wrappers or Q-TIPS, she just shoves them in a drawer, under a bed, or in the closet. So, if anyone is ever a victim of the great kleenex shortage, please let me know. We have some used ones I would be happy to send you. Putting things away is along these same lines. Right now as I type this, there is a loaf of bread and a container of mustard sitting on the counter where my son left it after he made his lunch this morning. Yesterday, it was a gallon of milk and a box of cereal.

I bought laundry bags for both children a year ago because I was tired of seeing all the laundry scattered all over the floors of the childrens rooms. Needless to say, with the introduction of the laundry bag, I am happy to announce that the laundry is not scattered all over the room anymore. It is dumped in a pile NEXT to the laundry bag.

My kids are now responsible for cleaning the kitchen after dinner. I wasn't aware and I'm so glad my children told me, that the counter by the microwave, the counter next to the stove and the floor are NOT part of the kitchen. I was wondering why those never get swept and wiped down.

Putting things away is a blog in itself. It never happens. We'll leave it at that.

Other things of note, my son used the garage door as a way to stop his bike. Yes, his brakes worked perfectly fine but I guess it was more fun to smash his bike into the garage door to stop himself. Of course after yelling at him for doing that, he stopped and decided once to use the outdoor grill instead. No, I have not yet purchased another grill. No more funny than when he decided to find out what happens when you run a lawn mower over a newspaper. Funny thing is, the newspaper wasn't even in the lawn at the time. It was in the middle of the driveway. I just don't know... Or when we caught him peeing in a bush in the front of the yard. I just don't know.


Upon cleaning my daughters room once, I found a bunch of Oreo cookie crumbs in her bed. Of course she insisted she had no idea how they got there. I looked at her said, "Are there gnomes in your room?" " I don't know!" She says. Under her pillow, were little rolled up balls of Oreo cookie filling that she was obviously saving for when the world runs out of Oreos.

I do not buy poptarts. I refuse! Not that I have something against a pop tart. Not that I don't like them. BUT MY KIDS MAKE ME CRAZY FIGHTING OVER THE DAMN THINGS. The last incident, we fondly call "POPTART GATE 2005" occurred for the last time a month ago. What happened? Someone, (JOE), ate the last Poptart that Cass was saving for the weekend. She came up to me as I was working and shoved the empty box in my face and screetched.."KRIS ATE THE LAST POPTART!!! HE KNEW IT WAS MIIIINNNNE!!!" She stomped around. She yelled. She screamed. She threw a fit! It was ugly..UGLY folks. Geez Cass...it's a POPTART! It's not the Hope Diamond! There are more in the store! Of course, that just led to a laundry list of food someone took the last of that she was saving for herself...NO MORE POPTARTS!

And then there is the phone. As I was working on a huge account this past summer, I had a daily conference call at 3:30 every day to go over the orders, the equipment yadda yadda..Important business stuff. Cass sits next to me as I'm on this call with a scowl on her face. Finally after 10 minutes she stomps into the kitchen and comes back a few minutes later with a note that said, "Are you almost done with the phone? I need to call Caitlin." No need to go into what happened to her when I was done with the call.. but she is still alive.

Please share your stories. I would love to hear them.

What a party! But the day after has been HELL!

20 years since High School graduation! I can't even believe it especially since I don't remember ever growing older especially 20 YEARS older but there it was, my reunion night. I was a little nervous about the whole thing being a total freak and geek in high school but no one was more surprised than me when I had a total BLAST! Benet still looks the same. There is new gym and a redone chapel but it was the same old Benet. I was helping check in. As the class of 85 approached, we tried to figure out who they were and in some instances, whether it was the guy or the girl we went to school with. Some classmates are bald and paunchy, some look the same with more gray, some are nicer than I remember. Some are exactly the same. I looked at this as the perfect practice for all that I have learned in the past 20 years about attitude and how it shapes every experience. It was up to me to make it fun or make it miserable. I decided on the former. So, that said, I said hello to everyone, smiled at everyone that came in that door, whether I liked them 20 years ago or not. To be honest, I didn't dislike anyone really. We had the clicks but I was barely conscious of anyone outside my own immediate group. I was happy to see at least 3 of the people that I hung around with back in the day and it was good to hear about what they have been up to. So far, it sounds like pretty boring stuff. There was absolutely nothing earth shattering, I guess. No big 20 year old secrets came out, no secret crushes. My crush was there..didn't talk to him. Just said my hello's at the door and went about my biz. Hung around people that were in my crowd and some that I never said hello to or even remember having a class with 20 years ago. I had way toooooo much to drink, closed the after party bar, and staggered in at 3am. This morning, I woke up with a huge headache and upset stomach, just barely dodging worship of the porcelain god at least 5 times. I am way too old for nights like that more than once a year. Of course my youngest, Emily, decided that today was a great day for extra REALLY nasty diapers and as I was lying there, she crawled all over me, hit me in the head with a recorder, and was queen of the temper tantrum. Bless her heart. I guess I needed a reminder that drinking too much means I REALLY pay the next day. What a great cure for alcoholism. Drink too much, add one very active and loud toddler with a hugely messy diaper to wake you up 2 hours after you go to bed.

In other news, we are all de-loused. The washing machine has agitation. Still haven't gone for the dishwasher but I'll get there. The kids did wonderfully in their parent teacher conferences.
And I had an accident with my work laptop which resulted in me being out of commission for 2 days. Ok, someone who shall be nameless spilled coffee on it. But, it wasn't me. DAMMIT! Emmie pooped AGAIN. Later!

EWWWWW

I am..

Having a little trouble fitting my life into my work schedule. I know I spend way too much time talking about my job but little by little, it demands more and more of my time. We have many problems and issues with our main supplier WHICH IS CISCO SYSTEMS, by the way. My co-workers and I were faced with over 200 projects critically past due and the equipment we ordered is nowhere in sight. Therefore, we spent the week going through all these orders and tried to get them somewhere else, a daunting, cumbersome and extremely frustrating task. I know I'm a little crabbier and a little grayer. My apologies to my friends who I have had absolutely NO time to catch up with. My kids get crabbed at on a daily basis so be happy you're not them :) The sad thing is, after all this, I can't even afford to pay attention. I am so broke and so sick of it. Haven't even replaced the broken appliances so I am still washing everything by hand and have the prunie fingers to prove it.

So, it's Sunday morning. This past week, I had a birthday which I have had no time to celebrate. We fit in some cake and ice cream in between a conference call and my Thursday night bowling league. Then my brother went up to our cabin this weekend to begin the process of raising our underground well. We may have time to go out for dinner sometime during the week, who knows? I also had to fit in a meeting for our 20th year high school reunion. Honestly, I have no idea why I am even involved. I was nobody in high school. I barely remember being there. I have no feelings fond or otherwise towards Benet Academy and after looking at the guest list there may be two people on it that I really would like to see again. I was very quiet in high school so a word about that. The quiet ones are usually the ones with the most to say. They just haven't found anyone they've felt safe enough with to say it to. One of my friends asked if I had made any new friends during the process. No, I don't think so. I'm not sure I have a lot in common with them or maybe it's just me. It's probably the "quiet person" syndrome creeping up again. I don't feel safe enough to talk about it. The past 20 years...well life has been hard on me. And not hard in the typical sense but in the A-Typical sense. I've dealt with Divorce, learning coping skills for depression and anxiety disorder, an eating disorder, an alcoholic ex husband, recovering from bankrupcy, those are all big hurdles. I haven't done it perfectly but I feel I am what I am intended to be... recovery is possible from whatever life throws at you. Not too many appreciate the difficulties of recovery. It always seems you take a 2 steps forward and another back but the key is getting the fight to try to go forward after the setback. My house isn't fancy. My car isn't huge. My bank account has little in it but whatever is in it, I worked for myself. Most of all, I'm still standing and not unhappy and whatever has been thrown at me, and there have been a LOT of things lately, I've dealt with and am working to resolve. I have great friends. I have hobbies I love and the 3 greatest kids on the planet!

Public Service Announcement..
Thank You to this website:
http://www.somethingfishy.org/

I've met a lot of wonderful people and new friends because of this recovery website. For anyone suffering or in need of information, this website is the best out there. Telling an anorexic or bulimic to "just eat" or "not eat so much" is a waste of breath. It's the same as telling an alcoholic not to drink. It's an addiction, a way that the afflicted has chosen to cope with his or her problems and the afflicted need medical and psychological help to help lessen the affect on the body and to learn a new way of thinking and coping.

END OF PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.

A warning for those living in the Chicago Area

This is a warning for all those living within 50 miles of West Dundee, IL. There's a story behind this but I'm just writing this down for anyone who might be interested in buying a Kirby Vacuum.
If someone calls you from K&G Distributing AKA Kondos Galloy and Associates offering you a free carpet cleaning, RUN!! RUN!!! RUN FAR AWAY!!! Not only will they pester you to death with a daily sometimes hourly phone call offering you this, but they are rude when you decline and continue to call until you succomb and schedule.
- They will tell you it's a cleaning.
- They will tell you that there is no sales pitch involved.
- They will tell you it's only advertising and that it is only to get their name out there. When you are in the market for a really good vac, they are hoping that we will think of them first.
- They will ask you what kinds of stains you want removed from your carpet so they can make sure the rep brings the right cleaners.
- They will tell you not to enter the room for 40 minutes after the cleaning to allow the carpet to dry. AND, if you act today and schedule, THEY WILL THROW IN ANOTHER ROOM FREE!
- They will tell you that their rep will EVEN MOVE THE FURNITURE except for entertainment centers and china cabinets and other heavy things.
It's all a LIE.

My name was on their list. They hounded me daily for a few months. I learned not to answer the phone when the name Kondos Galloy appeared on my caller ID. Well, I guess they figured out the game. As I was sitting here doing my work, my phone rang and my caller ID indicated it was a "Private number." Since a couple of my children's friends numbers come up that way, I answered it. I got the above pitch and said..well what the heck? My carpet can use a good cleaning and it may be worth it just so these people will quit calling me.
Yes, someone showed up and I got a 1 hour sales pitch on this really neato system that could be mine to the tune of $1789.00. The sales guy called his "Manager" 3 times and said things like..HOW CAN WE OFFER HER THIS FOR SUCH A LOW PRICE?? WOW! WE CAN DO THAT FOR HER? THAT IS SO AWESOME!!! WE CAN OFFER HER THIS GREAT PAYMENT OPTION?? WOW!!! I DIDN'T KNOW WE COULD DO THAT..I"LL TELL HER..SHE LOVES IT!!
*Good God! it's not a used car! It's a f'n KIRBY *
Did the carpet get shampooed? Did I get my second room cleaned? Heck no! I got a portion of the carpet vacuummed and I did get a 12 inch x 12 inch square of the carpet cleaned for free!!!! And, the sales guy looked like a wounded animal when I told him no and said he didn't get paid for today's visit unless I bought the KIRBY or gave him names of other unsuspecting victims.
Well, my kids were absolutely enamored with this Kirby vacuum and said...DIANE would want one..So and so would love it. I gave the guy 6 names and then called my friends to warn them. I have spent the past week apologizing. To those of my readers getting hounded by Kondos Galloy aka K&G Distributing, I AM TRULY TRULY SORRY!!!! I really am. A couple of you have already mentioned to me that you are in Kirby vacuum HELL with these people.
www.bbb.com They are a member and I think though their approach may be legal and I actually do not know if it is or not, it is deceptive advertising and has caused me a considerable headache and alienation of several of my close friends. SORRY AGAIN GUYS..PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!

Just a few ramblings

It has been awhile since I have written anything. This whole month has been one challenge after another and I wish it would slow down. Here's the news in my world:
- I am appliance challenged...appliancely challenged? Something like that. My dishwasher AND the washing machine are done broken! As my luck would have it, they bit the dust within 5 days of eachother. As my life would have it, I have no money and have had NO time to go look for another so clothes and dishes have been washed by hand. Being a pioneer must have really SUCKED! They had to add killing their own food to the mix though and that is the only difference.
- I have been having problems with my back and neck. Woke up a week ago in so much pain, I couldn't move. So being that I have been especially crabby because of that, I really haven't felt much like writing or talking to anyone.
- I have had one heck of a time with my job.. I LOVE MY JOB. I LOVE MY JOB. I LOVE MY JOB. Our main vendor did a software upgrade a month ago. For those who work in Telecom, you know what happens after a software upgrade more often than not. . NOTHING WORKS. Of course they called it an "Enhancement." We called it ..... a lot of words I really shouldn't write or say in polite company. We should just cover a box in aluminum foil, add some ball bearings and packing peanuts and ship those out. They'd probably work just as well. In reality, my inbox is OUT OF CONTROL with messages from our project managers telling me how critical it is we have the stuff by lets say...tomorrow.
The good news is, my house still has a nice stock of coffee and good beer.

On another note, How many of us are burned out on hearing about Hurricanes? Last year Florida had 3 of them and we just laughed at them. NewOrleans gets hit with one and well...it's because God hates Lousiana. Folks, I think He hates Florida worse. And after 7 days of hearing nothing on the news besides Hurricane Rita, it was sort of anticlimatic now that she has hit. I just don't want to see anymore anchor people standing out side in the huge storm, talking about how awful it MIGHT be IF the storm moves just a few miles East or West. Yup guys..it's raining. Yup..there is stuff flying around that could hit people. The winds are blowing at 100 mph. I think that flying debris would be par for the course. Rita came. She went. She did no more damage than any other hurricane that has ever hit the coast and guess what... there will be more next year. I do not mean to sound insensitive. I gave to the Hurricane Katrina disaster relief willingly. I think it is terrible what happened to those on the Gulf after the hurricane and my heart goes out to those who lost everything. I was, on the other hand, disgusted with the casting of blame of whose fault it was, the looting, the rapes, the pillages, the whining, the yelling and the screaming from the press calling for the Almighty's resignation for sending a catagory 4 hurricane to NEW ORLEANS! Don't you know folks, that it's totally OK for a catagory 4 to hit Miami, Biloxi, Gulfport, and Tampa. But it is totally UNACCEPTABLE for a catagory 4 to hit New Orleans. Don't you know that America NEEDS Mardi Gras? What would the Girls Gone WIld producers do without it!? Yep, the levee broke. Yes, the government gave LA a bunch of money to fix it after the infamous Hurricane Camille. Did LA use it to fix the Levee? NOPE.. They used it for another project. Did they have an emergency plan to evacuate the city? Yes, they did. Did they implement it? NOPE Did the state of Louisiana know that they were suceptible to Hurricanes for lets say the last 200 years? SURE. Did they do anything when threatened again? NOPE. Ray Nagin has egg on his face. Ray Nagin says...how do I save my butt. Ray Nagin blames FEMA, THe president, The governor and God. VOILA! The fact that FEMA was out there within a week and it is a government agency is a miracle! Have you ever sat in the Social Security office? It takes a month just to get through the line. IT took FEMA a month to react to Category 3 Hurricane Floyd under Mr. Clinton's watch. Good job, Bill! Did the hurricane hit while you were soiling Miz Lewinsky's dress? This is just my view point. Unpopular though it may be! Our media makes me crazy! They are the biggest bunch of mass hysteria perpetrators. I can't believe that everything going on down there in LA after Katrina was bad. What about the millions of dollars of donations, the response of the red cross, the rescues, the people that are down there volunteering their time to help them rebuild? Can't we hear about that? The real story isn't that an act of God happened. The real story is that we Americans ARE taking care of our own. We are sending money. Sending blankets. Opening up our houses to people that lost everything. I think it's a testament to our country, our people, our way of life. A failure of leadership occurred, no doubt about it. But since we are all human and make mistakes, the story is not that we fell but how we rise after the fall. I have no doubt that the Gulf will be rebuilt, Mardi Gras will bloom again, and everyone will pick up their life.

------Put title here-----

So, it's Wednesday, the day after Tuesday.. I had a really nice weekend! Our cabin ROCKS and boy did I need a Laborless Labor Day. After the frustrations of the week, the laptop, the job and everything else, it was very nice to go up there, drink microbrew, relax and hang out with family and good friends. Now, here I am..back at work. My stress headache is back. My stress backache is back and I even sent a couple resumes out tonight because I'm that disenchanted. But, enough whining. My creativity is out the window for the moment but it shall be back soon! In the meantime, check out my brothers blog and a really great little site that cracks me up every time!
http://www.itallendsnow.blogspot.com <--------------------- Joe's site
http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/ <--------------------- Chronicles of George.

Raindrops keep falling on my head.....

No dear reader...(I think at least one person reads these things) it is not raining here in sunny Chicagoland. It is raining on me. After working my buttkus off until Midnight last night, I awoke to a dead work computer this morning. It's been coming for awhile but at least it is a light work day somewhat.... I think.

So, the desktop support dude calls and says you need to bring it in..AFTER you back up the harddrive. HUH? I say, Why me? Why can't you do that? Because, he says...ABC (Not my real company name) Company, doesn't have that in my job description for Virtual Office employees. You need to plug into USB port and do yourself. He says if you don't have external harddrive, you have to go buy one and your own troubleshooting tools and do it before you bring it in. Well.. I have an IBM Stinkpad 600X. For those of you who not familiar with it, it has a whopping big 11 GB harddrive with about 3 GB space left..a couple parallel ports, and a 12 inch screen. When I boot up, it vibrates. Sometimes, the mouse doesn't load. I have no idea why this happens. After it sucessfully boots up without exploding, it gives me a ton of errors I click out of and a "found new hardware" message that I have NO idea what it is talking about. Fortunately, I bought an external harddrive to go with my new Dell. I Love my Dell :) and there my computer sits...backing up...ever so slowly. And of course, as I am talking to the desktop dude, my dishwasher is leaking into my kitchen. Argh! Let's all add insult to injury here.

My son calls me from school this morning and says "Mom, next to the microwave oven is a picture form." I pause and say "OK, is it picture day?" In a very small voice he says "Um..yes...sorry" WHAT!!!?? Ok..he hasn't had his haircut, he's wearing an old shirt, he barely had time for a shower and well whatever... Off to Sears we will go. Kids!

That's all I have for now...BOWLING STARTS TONIGHT!!!WOOHOO...
Peace and all that...