Thursday, February 28, 2008

I'm tired! What a week and it's not close to over yet. Tuesday, I worked at the Mart and it was the most boring evening I had there. The only good thing about it was leaving right at closing time but I did have to stop at Wal-greens to get cold medicine for Em who had a temperature. I picked up some gummy princess vitamins for Em and some regular vitamins for the kids. Since Kris lives on a diet of cheeseburgers and pizza puffs, I've started Veggie Monday. On Monday night, I cook a vegetarian dish loaded with all sorts of fresh vegetables and beans or rice. You would think I was killing him. I WANT MEAT! THERE'S NO MEAT!! I told him that at least once a week, I want a guarantee of something healthy in his little body. He's been sick 4 or 5 times with stomach flu or a cold or something since October and now has transferred it to Em and Cass. At least one of the three has had something in the past few weeks. So far, I'm fine but then again, I eat my veggies. Tuesday night, Kris informed me we would be rehearsing in front of his band class and I needed to be at his high school at 11:10 so I could accompany him. Well CRAP! The very thought of playing in front of a bunch of 14 year olds, who are probably way better than me at this point, gave me jitters. Wednesday morning, as I'm freaking out about having to do that, I received an email from the other member of survivor committee, stating she's sick and can I do the survivor speech at kick off. EEEEEE! I don't talk in front of people. I even hate speaking up on a darn conference call! The last time I gave any sort of talk in front of people was 1985 in my Rhetoric class and I SUCKED! But, well what the heck. Wednesday was performance day apparently! I ran out the door, dropped Em at daycare, and met Kris in the band room. Snagged a practice room and started to warm up a little. Every time I heard someone outside, I'd screw up. Gave myself a talking to! As if the 14 year old gives a damn or is even listening. After awhile Kris joined me so we could run through it once together. Mr. Confident was shaking. He said it was from doing weights in gym class. YEAH RIGHT! But, we got through it and ironically enough, he who performs all the time, was trying to keep it together up there. I told him to just look at me and not his very bored looking class. We survived. We got applause. A couple of his bandmates gave me a high five and it wasn't too terrible. I ran to my piano lesson, ran home, threw together some outline for my speech, did absolutely nothing in regards to work for AT&T and then ran out the door to my meeting. Surprisingly, I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be and I didn't even look at my outline. My main goal was not to sound like an idiot. I made a couple women cry. It's not quite what I intended but I guess I said something that resonated. Mission accomplished. My main goal is to teach, educate, instill awareness for Sarcomas. Before diagnosis, I had never heard of it. Perhaps if I had, I may have taken the small bump more seriously and would have saved having some serious egg on my face. But, none of the people in the room knew about Sarcomas either and one or two came up to me to say that they would probably have blown something like off too because they do not grow in a major organ. I'd like to think that somewhere down the line, what I said
will save a life.

Monday, February 25, 2008

It's official, Kris and I WILL be performing that piece. EEEK!!!! I have no idea what time. As it gets closer to the day, we will know.

There has been not a whole lot going on. I fixed my wireless router problem by spending a ton of money on new one and replaced my black toner. HP charges 70 dollars for a pack of cartridges. UGH!!! It's not the huge things that tap into the monthtly budget. It's these little things: a punctured tire, a computer problem, an oil change, replacing a pair of gym shoes because your kid stepped in a bottomless puddle, your kid losing a jacket, a fried ignitor on the furnace. Life just nickels and dimes you to death. So there I am at Wal-mart on weekends. This weekend was no less a circus. I worked 8 hours on the busiest register in the store and yesterday, I must have dealt with the stores crabbiest customers.
A man, woman and their son came through my line. The woman had all her groceries arranged on the belt in the order she wanted me to bag them. Now, I'll admit, I never went to bagging academy. I try to be conscious about what I put where but I frankly never really noticed what the baggers put where when I shop. This lady hovered over me like a helicopter. I put something in a bag, she took it out and put it in a different bag. She was so close to me as I bagged things, I could feel her breath on my face. Every now and then, she'd make a snide comment, you don't put soda pop with cans. You don't put chips with that. Never put anything in with eggs. They should be bagged on their own. (I put light stuff in with eggs, a bag of chips or a loaf of bread). After a minute or two, this womans husband says. "Dear" (dripping with sarcasm) "If you are such a bagging expert, why don't you get a job here and show everyone?" This woman stands up straight and in a raised voice says "Well YOU'RE not the one who puts the stuff away! You've been a F'n Asshole all day! You're an ASSHOLE!" The man said, "Yup, it's all my fault. I'm the asshole!" I did not look up. I just kept grabbing groceries, scan, beep, bag, scan, beep, bag.. Finally, they stopped quibbling, she hands me two sweaters and insists she doesn't want me to scan them in any way that would allow them to touch the "dirty scanner". I started to remove the hangars as is policy and she says snidely, can I have those PLEASE? Sure, says I. I started to remove them so I could fit them in on top of the folded clothing and she says, "JUST PUT THEM IN THE BAG!" The next customer shot me a look of pity. Frankly, nothing any of my customers has ever said to me, yelled at me or pissed about has ever bothered me an iota. After 10 years in Restaurant, I have a thick skin when it comes to that stuff. I simply take the opportunity to shut the Hell up and get them out as sson as humanly possible. These incidents do result in some interesting stories about people and how ridiculous they can be. God bless em! And God bless that guy. He married that woman! I only had to deal with her for 10minutes.

Scan results are in but they want me to make an appointment to get them! ARGH! I at first thought it proves they found something. But, other patients state that their 3 months checkup is always scheduled after a scan so the Dr. can present the results, take questions and see if we have any concerns. So, I will do that. They probably did flag the surgical area. They did with my MRI. I just don't like this. It prolongs my position as cancer patient when all I want to do is get back to normal life as soon as possible and forget about it until 4 months from now and the next scan.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

I had two 8 hour shifts at Big Box Store this weekend. Of course now, I'm 100% useless. Yesterday was crazy! They stuck me at the busiest register. I didn't look up from groceries all day. Person after person after person after person. One of my pet peeves has to be when an item someone wants to buy has not UPC code. I know how this happens. People load their carts with crap. When they get to the register, they change their minds about this thing or that thing and shove it anywhere. It's like a scavenger hunt after a busy day. We'll find a bra in the pepsi cooler. Kids clothing in with the batteries. frozen goods in with the gum. When we find it we put it in a shopping cart, sort it in the back and put it back on the shelves. Of course some have lost their tag in the process of being stuffed and shoved somewhere creative. Yesterday, one of the items I attempted to scan had a tag missing half it's numbers. Why? Because the small child in the shopping cart was chewing on it. Fortunately, the price was still intact. On a busy day, we are supposed to call the department and never get an answer because all the associates are busy shoving stuff back where it belongs. In the meantime, people get irritated, they start checking their watches, they start yelling at me and I just ask the customer, what do you think the price was? One buck? SOLD! Yes sir, I understand this shirt was on the $2.00 shelf. That's because someone decided they didn't want it and shoved on the $2.00 rack. I wonder sometimes if I'm working at an Indian market instead of a US Retail store. I've haggled prices with the best of them. And in the breakroom, we laugh at everyone and share war stories. I was lectured by some old lady yesterday because the price of Dixie cups went up 3 cents since the last time she bought Dixie cups. She could have bought the damn things last year for all I know. What can ya say? Gotta love people. Some transactions go smoothly. Sometimes, a customer will argue the price on everything. Oh no! that's 2.97 not 3 bux. Nope.. those batteries were in the dollar bin. Sorry, that's $5 not $9.95. As if they can seriously remember the price of every damn thing they put in there. So, it's over for another few days. Thank goodness!

All the kids have run through some sort of illness this week. Em woke up Monday night with Niagra Falls running out of her nose. Kris was up Wednesday night throwing up. Cass had a fever yesterday and this morning. I missed bowling to stay home with Kris and Em and decided to do my taxes. Had trouble with the tax software and was up until 1am and never did fix it. So, I was on the phone with support for 2 hours on Friday and finally my taxes are filed. Friday night, I downed two terrible tasting bottles of Barium Sulfate and had my CT scan done. Afterwards, I was a little depressed. I never have a good feeling after one of those things. The last 3 have not been the greatest and they always find something. I changed my entire diet. I've had one bite of chocolate since New Years. Otherwise, all I've been eating is fruits, veggies, rice and beans, getting 8 full hours of sleep, and drinking organic juice when I would like nothing more than a cheeseburger and a side of fries. I am hoping it was not all for naught. And of course, since the kids were sick, I'm sure my body is fighting off some virus and some lymph node is swollen so my Dr. can freak about that. That's about all. I haven't been in any sort of trouble for ages. I think that's a sign I'm not having any fun. I think it's time!
Getting an estimate on my flooring on Wednesday. That's something to look forward to.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

IT WAS SUNNY TODAY!! Cold as anything but nary a cloud in the sky. It's been weeks since we've had no sort of precipitation. Of course it's all Global Warmings fault. If it's cold, it's Global Warming. If it's hot, it's Global Warming. If it rains, snows, sleets and hails, it's Global Warming. If it doesn't snow enough, it's Global Warming! AHHHH!!! I hate to be a naysayer but I'm just getting a little sick of all these Global Warming shenanigans which will result in a lot of STOOOPID legislation because it's all the US's fault that the polar bears are drowning. I love how the rest of the world takes no ownership and they defer to us SUV driving, gas guzzling, wasteful spending, industry polluting, cretins here in the US to solve the issue. Thanks Al Gore!!

My second comment, Democrats, OBAMA??? COME ON!! I live in IL and I'm still hoping for all those changes that he's promising the Nation. But as Mr. Obama says, I HAVE HOPE THAT AMERICA WILL CHANGE SOMETHING THAT HASN'T BEEN CHANGED BEFORE! CHANGE, WE NEED CHANGE!! I can use a little change in my pockets. So I guess that counts. Perhaps when Mr. Obama changes his socks everyday, he tells the US that he has changed something, and is not a liar. I fail to be inspired.

Third comment, Hannah Montana. I don't get it.

Fourth comment, I need new wiper blades. I'm getting mighty sick of driving with one little hole of clear vision and the rest of the windshield covered in salt smears.

Fifth comment, I need new black toner for my printer.

Sixth comment, my router died and took my wireless internet with it. WAH!

Seventh comment, I need a shower.

Do you get the idea there just isn't a whole lot going on? Em has a cold. Cass needs colored pencils. Kris is writing poetry for school. The duet is coming along. I have learned the notes, now we are working on the music. That's about all.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

OK. The snow thing is getting JUST A LITTLE OLD. Last weeks snow storm resulted in a nice thin sheet of ice covering everything since it was 50 degrees, rained, then dropped to 30 degrees, then went back up to 40 degrees and dropped to -10 overnight so all that rain froze into a 4 inch thick block of ice on my stoop instead of a 1 inch block. As a matter of fact, the mailman refused to deliver my mail for 2 days. It took Kris and I and a pitchfork to break all that ice up so that no one would kill themselves trying to get up my stairs.
My weekend was as usual, uneventful. I spent a few hours at big box store and basically cleaned and did the usual running around. Emily was with her idiot father and woke up with a nice cold on Monday that was worse today. I had a Relay for Life meeting tonight and of course, it snowed. After my 3:30 conference call, I left for Lisle. Traffic was cruising until I hit I355. Then I sat and sat and sat and sat...No worries, I said to myself, it's probably just back up to the tollbooth. Then I got to the tollbooth and traffic still didn't move. NO worries, I told myself, it's just a backup to the next exit. When traffic still hadn't started moving at the next exit, I figured it was a back up to China. Needless to say every car that entered I355 from any exit pissed me off as I silently screamed at them to GET OFF THE DAMN ROAD! Can't you see all these cars???? GO THE HELL AWAY!!! After 3 hours, I went 17 miles, the meeting was over half an hour ago, and I inched along to the next exit and turned around and went home. The home trip was much faster. So, I laughed at all the idiots on the other side where I was as I cruised past them at 30mph! SEE YA SUCKERS!!! HA HA HA! I'm on THIS side now! What did I accomplish in three hours in the car? Well, I heard all the primary results and listened to 10 news reports on how traffic sucks.

This time of year is so blah. Letsee, what do I have to look forward to? Nothing! In one month, I'm hoping all the contractors will have started the work I want done in the house and it will look better by April. I get to look forward to doing my taxes on Friday night and my favorite, I GET TO GO FOR MY CT SCAN ON FRIDAY!! While all those happy couples are out there dining, getting flowers and oversized chocolate hearts for Valentines Day, I get to drink two bottles of terrible tasting contrast dye, have a needle shoved in my arm and get tossed through an oversized donut hole! Oh YAY! I can hardly stand the excitement. I especially can't wait for the results. The Radiologist ALWAYS finds something to watch, resulting in me panicking and a lousy, anxiety filled month afterward, until the next damn scan when I get to do it all over again. This time they want a picture of my abdomen. The Dr. says, oh, don't worry. I just want a baseline. Well Baseline my a$$!! It's a hunting expedition in which the Radiologist picks out every dust speck on the film and calls it a tumor. I hate it! Dollars to donuts they'll look at the surgical area and tell me there is evidence of recurrence. My advice to you all, do NOT ever have a cancerous tumor anywhere. The surgery is a cake walk compared to the aftercare. The only thing worse than going through cancer the first time, is going through it a second.
Pray to God for me that this time, the Radiologist report indicates nothing new, nothing changed and calls a dust speck a dust speck.

Cancer sucks!

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Another Snow Day for the kiddies. Another headache for me.
So far, our big head weatherman haven't been wrong about a single snowstorm. That depresses me. Two years ago, they were wrong about every one. This year, every damn time they said we were going to have a whopper snow storm, we had a whopper snow storm. Last night, the storm started out with a lot of rain. Overnight, it turned to sleet. Then around noon, it was full fledged blowing snow. Being that it is Ash Wednesday, I found a recipe for Veggie Fajitas that I decided to make but of course I was missing the tortillas. So, at 5:30 pm, I ventured out into my driveway to drive to the store and go get some. 1 hour later, I finally managed to extricate my car. The lovely sleet that fell caused a nice thin sheet of ice underneath the snow which caused my tires to spin. Of course number one son was not at home so I went out there chipping and shoveling away and looked quite frosty by the time I got my car into the street. It was irritating. It's time to think about buying a snow blower.

Having the kids home on my work day is always a challenge. They are either fighting or begging me to let them have friends over or begging to go to a friends. Every time I looked at Kris and Em they were eating something. I had to kick them out of the kitchen numerous times. When Kris finally did get his lazy butt off the couch and went out, he fell into a puddle, got really really wet, and sloshed home. Instead of throwing his wet clothes on the line I have in the utility room, he threw them on the floor of my room so my carpet is nice and wet. DUHHHHH! Cass and her pal Caitlyn decided to make a snowman which Kris kicked over and caused me drama. Em wanted to go outside and join them so she kept walking out of the house without a coat and socks or holding the door open so I could heat the outside. She spent the afternoon crying about this thing or that thing and I gave up trying to work, left early and just decided to be irritated by the ice on my driveway instead. Happy day!
Tomorrow, I have parent teacher conferences at Cass's school. Kris has a trumpet lesson and I have tons of conference calls. Em is definitely going to daycare tomorrow.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

It's Super Deee Duper Tuesday here in the great state of IL. I actually went to the Community Center and voted. No one was there other than the very bored looking election judges. I'll give anyone a hint. There was no freaking way I'd ever vote for Hillary, not even if someone put a gun to my head. No apologist for her rapist husband deserves to speak for women or anyone for that matter. She's as corrupt as they come. As for Obama, nope..not him either and yes, it's all about color. Green is not a color I usually vote for. Maybe if he actually came up with a policy and oh, I don't know, DID something instead of spew pretty words that are supposed to fool us into thinking they are "ideas", I may look at Obama in the future. For now, no way, no how. I voted for some women judges. Had no idea who they were but the screen wouldn't advance until I chose someone and who really gives a crap which delegate goes to represent the candidate I chose? I could choose two candidate delegates and whatever, I checked the top two and hope they enjoy the trip.
Moving on... I finally got my basement painted and I like the color I chose, Taupe. If Obama were more Taupe than Green... I still probably wouldn't vote for him. Once the flooring is in and the old furniture hits the curb, it should be a fine Family room. The Duet Kris and I are working on is coming along. Of course, now Kris is telling me he isn't "officially" signed up and there are only limited spots. GAH! Oh well, it got me playing again and I guess that's important. I've decided to keep my piano lessons after March 1 as I knew I would. Big Box store is still a freaking circus. Now that people have one payment towards the Christmas bills, there is new room on the ol credit card for stuff. I checked out a lot of stuff. The top selling items:
1) Slimfast
2) Bottled Water
2) Pregnancy tests...a LOT of women had a REALLY happy New Year and will have a not so happy 18 years after.

On the Friday nights I worked, men came in for condoms and tried to hide them under a pile of Chips and socks. That always amuses me :)

Emily had issues this morning. For the most part, she's been a very good girl other than a few spots here and there of minor melt downs. This morning, I wanted to get her out so I could stop at the Grocery store and go vote. Told her 100 times to get her shoes and socks on. Finally, after 15 minutes of her dinking around, I got my coat on and waited in the car. Em was screaming inside the house for me not to leave. I kept yelling, well get your coat on and your backpack and get out here. Finally, I picked her up, tossed her in the car without her coat or her backpack that I told her to get packed with her blanket and Little Mermaid notebook. She was screaming in the backseat the whole way to Grace's. She took both shoes off and threw them and when we got to Grace's, I made her walk to the front door barefoot. She was yelling at me that she was going to get frostbite. I told her to move faster then. Since she didn't like the feel of wet pavement on her feet, she decided to crawl. Great Idea! Now her hands and her jeans were wet and dirty. I cleaned her up and she finally calmed down enough to tell me she was going to be a good girl now. Grace put her in time out. We'll see how she behaves later.
(DISCLAIMER: It was not cold enough for Em to get frostbite. It was cold enough to get my point across. If it was below 0, I wouldn't have done this)

I laugh at each woman that buys a pregnancy test silently.

Kris fulfilled his contract. He brought his dismal grades up and received 5B's and an A. That is enough to keep him off grounding but not enough to be allowed to do a lot of screwing around for awhile. And of course, number one son managed to get himself kicked out of pep band on Friday night. Of course I got his version which is always, his teacher hates him and it's not his fault. I know better. I wrote his teacher and got an answer as to why my son was kicked out of Pep band, that being, not organized ie, didn't show up with his music and screwing around. Kris did manage to get a second chance from his teacher and a good talking to from me. I know exactly how organized my son is and his teacher was glad that I wrote to him about this. Kris's teachers email me. Kris knows he isn't going to get away with much.
Again, Cassie for all her little girl issues, has been easier to deal with, except for her absolute pit of a room. Since tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, she is giving up "a messy room". Right now, her new room is on hold. Over Christmas, I went into her room and was absolutely FLOORED at what I found. Each drawer was full of trash. Under her bed were dishes with old food still in them and a full glass of apple juice. I found dishes that had been missing for months, candy wrappers, used kleenex, pieces of paper, one of my credit cards, two empty containers of frosting, cheetos, M&M's, and Jimmy Hoffa. I dumped every drawer in the middle of her floor, handed her trash bags, and told her to go to it. No less than 4 trash bags full of garbage came out of her room. We'll see how she does on the Lenten promise.