Sunday, October 21, 2007

My ex is an IDIOT!!

Here we go again. It's like clockwork. He gets a new GF and his head is farther up his butt then when he's not dating. This time, I had a two week reprieve in between GF's where he was somewhat easier to deal with. The phases are predictable. He gets a new GF and is all secretive, shows up at my home talking on the phone in hushed voices or asks if he can take Em on a special outing with "someone." A week later, he picks up Em in "someones" car. The following week, the "someone" is IN the car. The games begin. I'm trashed to this "someone" upside down and sideways. He calls me a horrible mother. He accuses me of abuse. He insists his mom and I are out to get him. The GF becomes the ideal and he tells me how much better the new flavor is than I am as a parent. The GF, absolutely baited hook line and sinker, hates me and speaks out against me too, sometimes calls me the B or the C word, even though I have never officially met them or spoken to them at all. My ex plays victim well. SEE HER REPRESSING ME?? CAN"T YOU SEE HER REPRESSING ME??? He picks fights with me in their presence so they can hear him fighting with me OR he is sticky sweet and phony baloney so they can see how hard he tries to be "nice" while I completely blow him off. Oh but he has such an apple pie face. Maybe so, but the heart underneath is as black as night. My advice for anyone who considers dating this person: Keep an excorcist on staff. He'll be spitting up pea soup soon enough.

So, back in September, he tells me he can't take Emily on visits until after 12 on Sundays just for October. He has drill he says, for the Stickney volunteer FD. Well, OK. I marked it on my schedule. It amazes me he even got that. He has asthma but because he hasn't had an attack for 2 years, decided to omit that from his application. NEVERMIND, that people MIGHT count on him to save their lives, it's all about how he looks to others. OOOO..I"m a Fireman. Aren't I cool? Today is Sunday. Today the doorbell rings at 9am. Cassie pads downstairs and says, it's "Emily's dummy dad's name here". She opens the door and I said, "What are you doing here? You're a little early aren't you?" Mind you, Em had just gone potty and Em can't go potty without removing every shred of clothing so there she is running around naked saying "I wanna stay wif you mommy. I wanna stay wif you!" Idiot says, "Oh, didn't I tell you? I decided to blow off drill this morning." If he had told me, do you think I would have asked him what he was doing there? "Oh" he says, "I told my dad. Nyuk Nyuk!" "ARGH!! YOUR DAD IS NOT ME!!" He's standing there looking all smug. I took Em into my room and scrambled to find socks, underwear, and something for her to wear. I got her dressed, grabbed a pair of PJ's and her blankie, shoved them into a backpack and started working on her shoes. Over a month ago, I alerted Brian that two weeks child support was missing. I went through the records and gave him the missing weeks plus the number in Carol Stream to the state disbursement unit. I did all the research. All he had to do was call the number. My guess is, he lost the weeks and the numbers and has had his head up his butt for so long, he forgot. Since that was a month ago, I asked him what he found out. He said "My company sent the money. It came out of my check so it's out of my hands." I asked if he called the Child Support Division. He said all they gave him were 800 numbers. I said "Then call them." So he went off about how it came out of his check. As far as he's concerned he paid it. It's not his problem and I guess Kathy is just out of luck. I said a judge would consider that arrearage. He said he doubted it since the money came out of his check. But, I said, I notified you of an issue and you refuse to resolve it. He said whatever and took Emily and left. Em gave me a huge hug and she walked off with him looking like she was going to the guillotine. I told him if he pulls "SHIT" like this again, Emily would not be going with him. He said, WHATEVER and left.

Yes State of IL, this is definitely in Emily's best interest. Everyones life is MUCH better now. My kids love it when Brian threatens to kabosh vacations. They love it when he acts like an ass to me. None of us can stand him so we do try to make some merriment out the situation. My brother says he looks like an overgrown Barney Rubble. So, sometimes we call him Barney. There are times I feel like putting his name on "Dontdatehimgirl" but I figure someone, somewhere down the line will do it for me. Now that he's not dating little cop girl anymore, perhaps she'll do it or upload his picture and send it to the dating police.

I guess my biggest issue is, he always gets away with it. Girls let him move in with them, drive their car, and spend their money. He uses them like toilet paper and they are gone when they either start to catch on or he has moved on to the next victim. Every relationship he participates in benefits him in some way. With the one he cheated on me with, he got a job. Her daddy owned the electric company he was working for. That resulted in an Apprenticeship for Brian. An Apprenticeship usually takes years to achieve. He did it in a year. Coincidence? I think not. So, after two years, daddy's girl is gone. Onto the next one. Whoever that was, I do not know. Didn't last too long. After court, he was sickly sweet and nice to ME. Hmm, what did I have to offer? Emily of course, and he was 10G's in arrears. Wouldn't it be nice if Kathy forgot the arrearage. Kathy didn't. :) Now, I'm the witch on wheels. Then there was his neighbors wife. Don't think that got too far. Her husband was none too happy about that. Finally, there was cop girl. That relationship got him a neato car to drive and a place to hang his hat. Since neighbors husband was probably shooting him daggers, he wanted out of his parents place right quick. He meets cop girl and two weeks later, he's moved into her place. New GF has a townhome. Brian needs a place to bring Emily and I'm sure he's moving his stuff in as we speak. Apartments are expensive. He has no money and he's impulsive. There ya have it, another soft place to land. Another unsuspecting victim. The cycle continues. I would just love to see one whap with the Karma stick, just ONE. I feel like a terrible person for wishing that it happens soon. Sometimes Justice is just too slow.

Here's a game someone sent me. Go ahead and blow off a bit of your work day.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

We must do it for the children...

I was just listening to the news 5 minutes ago and just had to comment on this absolutely, frickingly, unbelievably ridiculous new ban that Cook County is proposing.

Ya'all weren't with me on my blatant opposition to the smoking ban. But, you all said, "SMOKING IS SO BAD FOR YOU and your smoke *cough cough* is making me sick! We could all DIIIIIEEEE" I would like to clarify that I am an EX smoker nor am I PRO cigarette. I would prefer that my children not make the choice to smoke someday but if if toking a smoke is the worst thing they ever do, I will consider myself a successful parent. I told ya'all that if you allow the ban and high taxation of cigarettes, sooner or later the government will ban something YOU like. We don't want to open that box, I said, business owners in America should have the choice as to how they want to run their own business. We, as Americans, should have the choice whether we want to patronize that business or go elsewhere. Is that not Capitalism? As a volunteer for the American Cancer Society, I took issue with them when they spouted that employees have no choice. Pardon me but they do. Thank you Mr. Big Brother ACS and Government but as a former Restaurant Manager, I can tell you that 80% of service industry workers smoke and do worse. I can also tell you that on every city block, there is a food establishment of some kind. Turnover is high in the service industry. Those people are finding work somewhere. Do we really need the government to take control of those choices? Do we want the Government telling us how to live? Apparently those of you in my state said, YES. PLEASE MR. GOVERNMENT! SAVE US FROM OURSELVES! WE'RE OBVIOUSLY TOO DUMB! So folks, thanks to you we now have a proposed BOTTLED WATER BAN!!! Cook County is thinking about banning the sale of bottled water. Not only are they banning it, they are admonishing anyone who buys it calling them perpetrators of Global Warming and dental caries (No flouride in BOTTLED water) and FOR THE CHILDREN (God, I hate that phrase) we must STOP this travesty before it's too late and all your kids drown in a pool of salt water with the polar bears and have bad teeth.

I am seething at this. Of all things, bottled water has now entered the axis of evil along with the smokes, the beer and the cigars. Shame on you all for buying such an evil product. SHAME SHAME SHAME You should all hang your heads for what you have done to America's children. Now, all you evil bottled water drinkers are killing us all too. How does that feel? I can't wait to see the coroners report and hear the statistics of how many people are dying from Second Hand Bottled Water! But we must do this for the children folks. We must squelch your right to free speech with PC rules. We must curb your terrible smoking, water drinking, McDonald's eating ways. We must make sure there are no trans fats in your fries because we all know evil restaurant establishments make you eat the bad food. We must do this all because our children are SUFFERING!! YES..THERE THEY ARE. America's children are suffering and we need to put freedom and our parenting in a box and let the Government raise our children for us. Let me make a prediction that in the coming years, if you all don't speak up, that there will be more bans on twinkies, gum (bad for warming..blah blah blah), extraordinary taxes on any food not considered "healthy", limitations on speech, limitations on how a parent can discipline a child, neighbor tattling on neighbor, more ridiculous lawsuits and censorship.

For anyone that hasn't read Orwell's "1984", I urge you to. Newspeak, Big Brother, Children telling authorities on their parents, we see examples of this every day in the news. Al Sharpton wanting to make using the "N" word a hate crime, a child that was asked pointed questions about her parents including details on how much they drink and their system of discipline then had the DCFS called on them as a result, socialized medicine, the banning of the Chief at the U of I, a lawsuit filed by a neighbor against a man in CA for smoking in his own backyard and she smelled it (HORRORS!), carseats until your children are 80lbs, seatbelt laws.. It's wrong. People, I have a really good idea. Mind your own business. If you don't want to be in a smokey bar, go to the one that doesn't allow it. If you don't want to eat a Big Mac, don't go to McD's but don't impose how you live on others because chances are, someone in Govt thinks you're wrong too. Before anyone gets all rattled, I'm not speaking of murder, child abuse and dire circumstances. I'm talking about your right to live your life and manage it on your own with your own, good or bad choices. Mistakes are how we learn. Autonomy as a human being is important to your emotional health.

In the meantime, I think you can make tons of money buying and redistributing cigarettes from Russia, importing bottled water from across county lines and having your own tobacco plants. What do you think?

******END OF SOAPBOX******

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Just wait until next year!

Friday, October 05, 2007

Reflections on Cub Fandom

So, it's Friday night and I'm baking Chocolate Chip cookies for Band Boosters. They are fundraising for a trip to FL to play at the Outback Bowl and I couldn't say no even though I hate baking. It's messy, labor intensive and the baked goods last about 5 minutes on a good day in this place before they're devoured.

Last night, I watched a bit of the Cubs game. Why I put myself through such self abuse, I really don't know. I'm a long time Cubs fan. The first time I sat through a game and made a conscious effort to pay attention, I was about 12. Hermann Franks was manager. Jack "Hey Hey" Brickhouse was announcer. Oddly enough, the first baseball game I ever attended was at Comiskey: The Sox vs Someone or other. I was 6 and couldn't tell Home Plate from a Home Run. I was also bored .... to.... tears and asked question upon question throughout the whole game. If I wasn't about 6 years old, I'm sure the guy and his son sitting in front of us, would have made me a permanent part of the infield. I remember a grand slam during that game which didn't faze me an iota. I was so ready to go home. So, after that game, I left thinking baseball was well, BORING and had no interest in it until puberty when I noticed that the men looked pretty darn good in those tight pants. Yes, embarrassing to say, I started watching baseball because I had a crush on the Cubs second baseman and no it wasn't Ryno at the time. I started watching every chance I got and then the unthinkable happened! The Cubs traded my second baseman to, of all teams, the White Sox. My dad came home laughed at me and said, who is your team now? I said, GO CUBBIES!! I was hooked as a Cub fan. If adolescent hormones couldn't break that bond, nothing could. Here I am 20 some years later, still going through that agony.

I am no fair weather fan. When I was watching, Bobby Bonds was playing first base. Some guy named Junior Kennedy was at Short and some handlebar mustached dude with about a 10. ERA, named Dick Tidrow, may have been their best pitcher. They had no pitching. They had no fielding and they had no fans. My mother took us on Tuesdays, Ladies Day. We paid about 5 bucks to sit in the grandstand and usually that 5 bucks bought us our own section. There were a few people in the bleachers and a few in the box seats behind Home Plate. The camera men were so skilled at finding pockets of people that you would think Wrigley was jammed with people. There was no one. We moved up to the $$ seats (15 dollars) and no one said a word.

It was pretty much par for the course that the Cubs were going to lose. We celebrated every victory and if they lost, well it was the Cubs. It was what we as fans came to expect. It was comfortable like an old shoe, an old shoe with holes in it maybe but an old shoe nonetheless. Our world series consisted of fighting the Mets to stay out of the basement position. .333 win average for the year was par for the course. .500 was UNTHINKABLE. We dreamed about being in contention. We never expected it would ever happen. I related to my Cubs as I went through teen years. I guess they reminded me of me, struggling along, the underdog, lots of angst, a loser. Then there was 1984 and my Cubs were never the same again. All of the sudden, Cubs fans came out of closets, basements, ceilings and Comiskey field. I watched them clinch the Division against the Pittsburg Pirates and it was the most exciting part of my Senior Year. I was revved. This was going to be THE YEAR! IT had been ages. I listed to the story about the goat and the jinx and the gypsy curse. I looked forward to the playoffs. CLeared the family TV so I could watch. Who would have thunk the Gypsy curse would have been Steve Garvey? The Cubs were clobbered. I was heart broken. Then there was 1989. It would be different. They were going to do it this time!! They were clobbered. I was heartbroken again. I lost track of my Cubs for a time, a long time. Tickets that were oh so plentiful in the early 80's were hard to come by. I didn't really have time to watch the games but kept an ear to the news to see how they were doing. Then there was 2003. I decided to risk it. I watched the playoffs. The Cubs were leading 3-1. 3-1!! Odds were on our side. We were going to WIN THAT SERIES and this was going to be OUR YEAR! FINALLY! But as soon as I started thinking that, I caught myself. These are the Cubs we're talking about and memories of 84 and 89 ran through my brain. I saw Moses Alou go for that ball. I saw the Shortstop in that game baubble something routine. I saw my old Cubs right there. The team I knew and loved once again playing in such a way that my sons Little League team may have beaten them. And Bartman, poor Bartman was the new goat so I guess now we can say we let a Goat into Wrigley after all. And I was heartbroken again.

So, here it is 2007. The Cubs won their Division and failed to show up to the playoffs since they are now 0-2. Can they pull it off and win 3 straight at Wrigley? Odds are no and I don't even dare hope. There's a part of me that wishes that it will all go back to the way it was in the 70's and 80's. My team was a loser but I could count on that. Victories were surprises and losses were expected. It was safe. It's often said that a person who is abused everyday is psychologically better off than a person who is abused some days. Why? because the person who is abused everyday, knows what to expect and when to expect it. Am I saying being a Cubs fan these days is like being an abused child? In a way, yes! Battered and beaten, we eat a ton of crow. Since 1984, my Cubs aren't my Cubs anymore. But I'll watch this weekend while I practice saying "Wait until next year!"

Monday, October 01, 2007

The more things change...the more they stay the same.

So, it's Monday. I set my alarm for 6:30 and staggered out of bed at 8:20am. So much for the best laid plans. I hit the coffee pot on the way to the work laptop and sat and stared at the computer screen for a few minutes before attempting to logon and then sat and watched all the email sitting on the server slowly start to download. Chase this. Find that. Where's this. The usual. Four years of doing this job, Four years of dealing with Cisco systems. Four years of living with Murphy and his gosh darn laws in every crevice of this God forsaken corporation. It's all the same. How depressing! Cass and Kris were off to school. Em was still in bed. THANK GOD! I just can't deal with her so early in the morning. Now that she has developed this fascination for everything computer oriented or at least whatever is on the My Little Pony website, she's always pounding on my keyboard, grabbing my mouse, and yanking cables. She sent three IM's last week that said "YYYYYYYYYYYyyJK:FJoiuFP" Actually, maybe I did write that. Sometimes, I don't type very well BC (Before Coffee) but I digress. Nothing really funny happened today either. All of it was...well pretty darn annoying, starting with a 2 hour conference call and ending with a lovely email from one of my son's teachers that said

"If you have received this message, your son/daughter was not prepared to begin class today, either by not having the literature book or not being on task after class began.

Students who do not have materials to participate in class will miss out on the class lesson.

Mrs. Kris's English Teacher "


I did have to arrange a meeting with another of Kris's teachers because my son is getting a D+, yes...a D+!! in one of his classes and a C+ in BAND!!! For the love of pete, all he has to do is show up to Band and he gets an A! So, here's the story: A couple weeks ago, Kris informed me on Sept 13th that the band was to appear at an NIU football game on the 15th. Well that just didn't work out. He had to be at the high school at 5:30am. I had an open house at the University I'm applying to, guests in town, tickets for an event and no one to pick him up from school at 7:30 in the evening. That's OK mom, he said, just write a note explaining that we already have plans for the day which he had me write at 5:30AM the following morning. So, guess what my little Einstein DIDN'T turn in to the teacher. Yes, that's right! That 5:30am note is still sitting in his notebook and Kris gets a big 0 for the gig. Double GAH!! Kicked him in the ass for that one and of course get a ton of static about how none of it is HIS fault. Now, I would love to hear how it isn't his fault because I really need a laugh today. But, I shut him up before he stuck his Reebok in his teenage mouth. He huffed downstairs where Cassie was playing PS2 and for the first time in his life was too pissed at me to hound her. An hour later he comes upstairs and asks me if he can go to his buddy's house for an hour which I ok'd as long as he practiced trumpet and studied for quiz after dinner. Off to work I go, and at 5:10, right as I'm about to leave to get Em from daycare, I get am IM from coworker and from a vendor which I told him I'd have to take on my cell on the way to get the baby. At that very moment, Cassie, sweet innocent Cassie, comes trouncing upstairs wanting to leave to go on a bike ride to nowhere in particular. No, I say. I'm about to leave. I don't want you riding around the neighborhood while I'm gone. WELL YOU LET KRIS LEAVE!! IT'S NOT FAIR!! I DIDN'T GET TO DO ANYTHING YESTERDAY (her fault but another story)!! As, I was running out the door because I was late to get the baby, had no idea what to make for dinner and needed to call a vendor back on an expedite, Cassie was screaming at me and then threw a pen at the door when I left which I reamed her for. If I hadn't have been in a hurry, she'd have a permanent shoe print her butt right now. She lucked out. Nevertheless, while I was on the phone with the vendor, Cass called seven, yes SEVEN TIMES and left 3 messages about how unfair it was.. TRIPLE GAH!!!

So now it's after dinner. THe kitchen is still a mess. The dishwasher is still not emptied out. My son hasn't practiced trumpet OR studied for his quiz. The baby got blue popsicle all over everything. Cassie has given me grief because I wouldn't let her open a cheesecake thingy I bought. The baby needs a bath. I need to study words for the GRE and it's the end of the day and don't feel like it. I wish in my next life I come back as a spoiled housecat. Molly is sitting here, not a care in the world.

I hear screaming. Time to go before the blood flows.