Thursday, December 22, 2005

Have a Merry

I have no idea what kind of time I am going to have now so I'd like to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and Hannukah and Kwanza and Boxing Day and.....

I don't have very good luck with cards ie remembering to send them or even write them. In the past, I've always felt the need to write a personal note in all my cards. Then I saw this episode on "Everybody Loves Raymond" where the gang was sitting around feeling all down about some of the Christmas letters they got. You know the ones I'm sure. The ones that go like this:

Hi Everyone,
The past year has been a great one for the BLAH BLAH clan. Our son got a 100% full scholarship to Harvard Law School. He's going to be the next Johnny Cochran I'm sure. We are so proud! My husband got a wonderful promotion so now we have finally been able to realize our dream of owning our own Swiss Chalet! Our daughter has announced her planned nuptials to the son of none other than DONALD TRUMP! OH MY! We can scarcely believe it. We have all had such great health and we are so blessed! May this season bring you wonderful blessings!

Love the Blah Blah family!

OH BARF! We have all gotten letters like that. OK seriously, you want to gag right? Especially when your year has been like MINE.

My Christmas letter:
Dear Friends and Family,
This year has really SUCKED! It started out with mass layoffs for my company. Somehow I was spared which I suppose is lucky on my part but, due to horrible mismanagement, I spent 12 hours a day in front of my computer, haven't taken a vacation since 2002 and have noticed my hair turning a nice shade of gray. I was sick all last winter with the stress, physically and emotionally. I've dealt with $2000 in car repairs, a broken furnace in the winter, a broken AC in the summer, a broken, washer, dishwasher, computer, vacuum and dryer. Then to really add insult to injury, we needed to raise the well at the cabin to the tune of $2500. We put our cat to sleep over the summer much to the devastation of the kids. After all these repairs, I've lived with $2 in my checking account for a week and my credit card magnetic strips are all totally worn out. Then to REALLY add insult to injury, the DNA donor to Emily who cheated on me with the bosses daughter and left me alone and pregnant is taking ME to court. Isn't that a hoot? It's been so much fun, I can hardly stand it. August brought the return of another blight. Kyle called out of nowhere and threatened to take me to court too if I didn't let him see his children. Well, he can just take a number! So, here I sit...Christmas is bought but not paid for. I'm in debt up to my eyeballs and just got slapped with a $3000 lawyer bill. But folks...I AM BLESSED!! BLESSED! DAMMIT! Have a rockin Christmas..I'm sure I made you all feel better with this letter. At least you know someone elses life is shittier than yours.

Peace,
Kathy

At the end of the Everyone Loves Raymond episode, Deborah, Ray, Frank and Marie were all sitting there laughing at everyones life is wonderful letters and happily tossing them into the fire. Frame mine..you may need it when you're feeling really low on life.

Now, from the bottom of my heart, I hope your holidays are wonderful. I hope that next year is better for all of us. That we all are blessed with good health. That your house isn't falling apart, your children mind you, your job rocks and your bad mistakes don't take you court.

Love to all of you and the party is at my house New Years Eve!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well Kathy... We aren't bitter, are we? Love and hugs anyway. Hopefully the New Year is better. It's gotta be, right?

Kathy said...

LOL no.. it was just an attempt at some humor. Ironically, I stopped at Grace's today to drop off her gift and she was just tossing a life is wonderful Christmas letter into the trash with the comment, this is nothing but a brag letter. She's the most Christian woman I know too :)