Thursday, December 31, 2009

Goodbye 2009

Truth be told, New Years Eve is not my favorite holiday. Despite the fact that we always have a nice get together with lots of drinks, chips and dips, this is the holiday that I feel most on edge, as if one more year passed by without a notable accomplishment, as if one more year passed by without Prince Charming riding into my life on a white horse but mostly, it's a day of goodbyes as we say goodbye to a year and all it encompasses, the good, the bad, the unthinkable. The year 2009 has been a year of churn and change. It was a return to cancer treatment. BUt those two words began to mean much more. In those two words were a whole new world, a world that contained needles, drugs and Dr's but also a world of people, and patients, and others, and letting go of an old way of thinking, and embracing a new path, and working towards more treatment options for Sarcomas, and supporting others as they journied and saying hello to some new dear friends and unfortunately, saying goodbye to others that never should have left. So today, we commemorate the passage of time and say goodbye to the old year and unfortunately, friends.. This is a list of Sarcoma warriors who fell this year. Some are children. Some are adults. They were school kids, talented singers, brilliant writers, fathers, mothers, grandparents, budding scientists, artists, and philanthropists. As I read the writings of the families they left behind, they would give anything to turn back the clock to the last time they were able to hug their child or their mom, dad, grandparent or friend.
Amanda M
Amanda K
Amanda L

And so a new year will begin tonight, time marches on... what will the new year bring?

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Scans were stable. WHEWWWW!! As it's been 3 months since my last scan, I was especially nervous this time as imagination tends to run wild sometimes.
Class has been going well. My final is a week away! In a way, I'm happy the class will be ending but I'm sad too. I like the class. I like the teacher. I like my classmates. We've had some fun and after Jan 10, we'll be going on our separate paths whereever that may lead. This class was one of those little moments in life that by some alignment of stars, threw just the right people together, in just the right circumstances and created a really good memory but unfortunately, as nothing is permanent, this little life circle will close. I think every one of us has had several journey circles in our life that we look back on and think, wow! it was perfect and I had a really great time.

"It's something unpredictable but in the end is right. I hope you had the time of your life."

Monday, December 21, 2009

I haven't quite come up for air yet and I have much to accomplish these next couple days. Fortunately, I'm good under the gun and as I've always been a procrastinator, I've learned to live with my own dysfunction and carry on as normal. I usually do my Christmas shopping online. Last year, I deviated from that and decided to go to the store and shop. With me being me, I waited until Dec 23rd. I went out after working an 8 hour shift at Big Box Mart. It was blizzarding outside. The windchill was and I am not making this up, (as anyone who has ever survived a Chicago Winter can tell you)42 below!! THe wind was whipping. THe snow was blowing and there was me pushing a shopping cart through the icy parking lot with thin little gloves on that did nothing to protect my fingers from the cold. I had to continually go into the car to warm myself while putting all these items into my trunk. Then, I went home and unloaded everything into my garage, taking time out to unthaw my fingers as I unloaded, stayed up all night wrapping, and spent Christmas Eve cooking on 3 hours of sleep. AHH the holidays. This year, I did do my shopping online but due to class, much will be done the way I am used to, LAST MINUTE!!
I wish all my readers a safe and Merry Christmas!! Once again, my Christmas cards were never mailed...and I even had stamps this year but all of you, the seen readers and friends and the unseen silent supporters, are all in my thoughts. I hope to see some of you on New Years Eve!

PS..Please pray for stable scan results. Scans are tomorrow.

Monday, December 07, 2009

I am just writing to say that I'm still alive but, oh so busy!
THe CNA class is half done and sitting in class 4 hours a night for 3 nights a week is a little harder than I originally anticipated. I sailed through the first week, started getting a little tired during the second and now, on week 4, I am exhausted. For class, I needed to have a two step TB test. That required three trips to the County Board of Health to get squared away. I needed to run to the store and get pure white shoes and scrubs and today, I had to take a long drive to the Social Security Administration because dummy me misplaced my SS card. I am not concerned that it was dropped outside. I took it out of my wallet and put it someplace safe. Apparently it's someplace so safe, I can't find it but I do not get to complete my clinicals unless the school has a copy. I don't think I need to mention the running around that results from the Christmas season.
I haven't had a lot of time to write. I hope everyone had a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving and for those that are celebrating CHRISTMAS, have a wonderful and enjoyable season.

I'm wishing a happy Hannukah to my Jewish friends.

When I come up for air, I'll write a longer update.
Scans are in two weeks.. EEK!!