I am..

Having a little trouble fitting my life into my work schedule. I know I spend way too much time talking about my job but little by little, it demands more and more of my time. We have many problems and issues with our main supplier WHICH IS CISCO SYSTEMS, by the way. My co-workers and I were faced with over 200 projects critically past due and the equipment we ordered is nowhere in sight. Therefore, we spent the week going through all these orders and tried to get them somewhere else, a daunting, cumbersome and extremely frustrating task. I know I'm a little crabbier and a little grayer. My apologies to my friends who I have had absolutely NO time to catch up with. My kids get crabbed at on a daily basis so be happy you're not them :) The sad thing is, after all this, I can't even afford to pay attention. I am so broke and so sick of it. Haven't even replaced the broken appliances so I am still washing everything by hand and have the prunie fingers to prove it.

So, it's Sunday morning. This past week, I had a birthday which I have had no time to celebrate. We fit in some cake and ice cream in between a conference call and my Thursday night bowling league. Then my brother went up to our cabin this weekend to begin the process of raising our underground well. We may have time to go out for dinner sometime during the week, who knows? I also had to fit in a meeting for our 20th year high school reunion. Honestly, I have no idea why I am even involved. I was nobody in high school. I barely remember being there. I have no feelings fond or otherwise towards Benet Academy and after looking at the guest list there may be two people on it that I really would like to see again. I was very quiet in high school so a word about that. The quiet ones are usually the ones with the most to say. They just haven't found anyone they've felt safe enough with to say it to. One of my friends asked if I had made any new friends during the process. No, I don't think so. I'm not sure I have a lot in common with them or maybe it's just me. It's probably the "quiet person" syndrome creeping up again. I don't feel safe enough to talk about it. The past 20 years...well life has been hard on me. And not hard in the typical sense but in the A-Typical sense. I've dealt with Divorce, learning coping skills for depression and anxiety disorder, an eating disorder, an alcoholic ex husband, recovering from bankrupcy, those are all big hurdles. I haven't done it perfectly but I feel I am what I am intended to be... recovery is possible from whatever life throws at you. Not too many appreciate the difficulties of recovery. It always seems you take a 2 steps forward and another back but the key is getting the fight to try to go forward after the setback. My house isn't fancy. My car isn't huge. My bank account has little in it but whatever is in it, I worked for myself. Most of all, I'm still standing and not unhappy and whatever has been thrown at me, and there have been a LOT of things lately, I've dealt with and am working to resolve. I have great friends. I have hobbies I love and the 3 greatest kids on the planet!

Public Service Announcement..
Thank You to this website:
http://www.somethingfishy.org/

I've met a lot of wonderful people and new friends because of this recovery website. For anyone suffering or in need of information, this website is the best out there. Telling an anorexic or bulimic to "just eat" or "not eat so much" is a waste of breath. It's the same as telling an alcoholic not to drink. It's an addiction, a way that the afflicted has chosen to cope with his or her problems and the afflicted need medical and psychological help to help lessen the affect on the body and to learn a new way of thinking and coping.

END OF PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.