On Saturday, I was only scheduled for a 4 hour shift at my second job for a large retailer. This is an oddity and I was so excited at all the possibilities. What can be done with that extra 5 hours? Do I go shopping? Do I mow the lawn? Do I clean the carpet, sit on my butt and watch Lifetime movies? What? I opted to clean Cassie's graduation party and Emily's birthday party out of my carpet, go to 5pm Mass and take the older kids to see "UP" as Emily was off with her dad this weekend for Father's Day.
After I scrubbed out the spilled wine, the green frosting, bits of grass, crumbs, mustard, ketchup and the Spring round of cat yak from the LR carpet, I rounded the kids up for Mass. Of course, my kids were whining. I am a 16 year alum of Catholic schools. Religion was as much a part of my young life as air. Sadly, I fell away from the church and never properly taught my children. Life got in my way and I was half asleep, sleepwalking actually for a few years. The universe woke me up with a nice hard slap on 2006, when I got "the call." What I did not know when I entered the church Saturday, was that this was a special mass. The associate pastor was leaving to be pastor of his own parish and the Knights of Columbus, all the deacons and church personnel were sending him off in style. His last speech to the congregation was based on a gospel. Jesus was in a boat with some of the apostles. A storm came on suddenly and tossed the boat around, waves breaking over the side, and peril all around. The apostles found Jesus asleep down below and asked him how he could sleep when their boat was in such danger. Jesus woke up, asked them why they did not have faith and commanded the sea to be still and the winds to quiet. The lesson: during the roughest times, when it seems as if you have been abandoned, when you're screaming at GOd and wondering why he does not seem to give a crap that you're hurting, that you're suffering and that He seems to be asleep, remember that's He's in the boat with you the entire time. Hmmmm.... I am one of those people that looks for signs and believe that nothing is arbitrary. I believe every person that enters my life in some way, shape or form, has been sent for a reason. Perhaps they are friends, or support circle, or teachers but all are meant to be in my circle, even the antagonists. I've also been feeling sometimes, that I am walking a tight rope without a safety net. When the priest finished his speech, I wiped away a tear or two. I felt that this I was meant to hear this, to be there, to be part of the good bye party, and the festivities in the church basement that night. I also left feeling that this choosing this church and church community, was the right decision and the right Parish for me. In the Fall, the kids start the Confirmation process. I have been kicking around joining the church choir, something I loved doing as a youngster. My voice has been virtually unused, other than belting out with some CD's in my car at times and I always felt this little tug steering me in that direction. I need to change my work schedule at the second job just a little to accomodate the 11am Mass but that should not be too hard. In the meantime, I'll practice by belting with more CD's. We have a 4 hour trip to Wisconsin planned in a couple weeks. What better way to pass the time, than annoy my children with my rendition of "Don't Cry for Me Argentina?" They'll love it! NOT!!!