I swear officer.......

I have now returned to life in the matrix for another week.

Tuesday night, while I was talking on the phone, the doorbell rang. Outside stood a police officer. Quite surprised, I asked if there was an issue. He said that someone from my number called 911. As I was on the phone for at least an hour at that point, no one could have called 911. I assured him everything was OK and that it must have been a mistake. He seemed satisfied with the answer and left. The next day, the police called asking if someone called 911. Again, we stated no one called the emergency number. Perplexed, I remembered an officer telling me that sometimes, when a cordless phone was not functioning correctly, it would dial 911. A bad phone didn't seem too outrageous. I have 3 kids and bought a nice new phone system with a base that was placed in the kitchen and two cordless phones that could be placed elsewhere. We put one phone downstairs and one in the Living room. Now, I have teenagers. The cordless phone has been lost in couch cushions, shoved in Emily's toybox, stuffed in drawers, cabinets, kicked under the bed, left in the bathroom, the shower, and left in the garage. One of my handsets stopped working when one of my rocket scientists left it in a laundry basket and washed it. So now, we are down to one, decrepit handset that I found behind my brothers desk this morning. The speaker phone no longer works and the ringer has long since died. It's a silent, decrepit phone. Yesterday, while I was at the bowling alley for my usual Thursday night excercise in futility, ie keeping that gosh darn ball on the alley and hit pins, Cassie called to tell me that once again, the police called inquiring about a 911 call. Darnit! says I. After Emily dumped water on my laptop, Christmas, and New Years, I just don't have the money to replace the broken down phone but if I have to, I have to. I thought nothing of the 911 incident anymore until my doorbell rang this morning and out there stood another officer of the law. Before she could even open her mouth, I said "I swear officer, I did NOT call 911." "Well someone did from this address" she said, obviously annoyed. I stated my dead, decrepit phone theory, but she said no. The 911 operator stated she heard a small child in the background.. AH HA!!!! EMILY!!! At this point my precocious child peeked around the corner, saw the officer standing there and ran. "EMMIE", I said, "Did you call 911?" Em peeked around the corner and didn't answer, then said "Am I going to go to jail?" The officer yelled at her and told her that calling 911 when you didn't need it, resulted in pulling her away from calls from people who actually needed help. Em ran away. The officer told me to talk to my child. I apologized profusely. I went and checked my cell phone and sure enough, there in my dialed calls was 911. As for why Emily called 911, my precious child, has a little crush on a little boy at daycare named Tommy. Tommy's dad is a police officer. She thought by calling 911, she could talk to Tommy. Kinda melts your heart.

Believe me, Em is doing very well on her Strattera but this was not the act of an ADHD child. This was just a precocious 4 year old who is too smart for her own good. I felt after that, it was time to take her to daycare. As I was dressing, I heard a pounding noise. "Em, what are you doing?" "Nothing" she said, "my hand is."

Out of the mouths of babes.