Response to the oops

So, B. calls tonight....

First, he asked to speak to Emily. I handed Em the phone. She spoke with him for 1 min, handed me the phone and walked away.

First off, he said, I'm not calling to start a fight. I didn't come on Sun because you never let me have her back to back days. I told him that wasn't true as he had her T-day, the day after T-day and the following Sat all day. He said, well last year you didn't. I was going to say something along the lines of "you had a Christmas party last year on your b-day and didn't ask for visitation." But, I didn't. I said nothing.

You shouldn't have called my parents. I'm the dad. She's my daughter, not theirs. I said, "I needed someone quick and close. I was not in a position to spend too much time on the dilemma." He lives 40 miles from here. He said I'm in (xx suburb close to you) on weekends with "new enabler". Then he went on to say how much he loves his daughter and how much he would love extra time and how much he misses her during the week and how he wants me to take him to court so he can fight for overnight visits because he and dummy have a new room for her all set up and they would love it and how he plans on being engaged by this time next year and there should be no problems with Em spending time at new dummy's house because it will be their house and I need to be a better communicator and please stop talking to his mom because she twists things for her own benefit because she loves drama and just causes trouble. I should be talking to him only because he's the dad. In other words, don't talk to mom because she keeps blowing through my bull and he needs to be able to control me too.

The part that made me cringe the most was the part where he said that he and I need to talk more because he's not going anywhere and will always want to be a part of his daughters life and we need to raise her together and I am not doing my part because I don't talk to him, how he wishes me well, how he worried so much when I was going through my treatments because Em needed and deserved her mom, how he never says anything negative about me to anyone (that's an outright lie) and how he has nothing but the utmost respect for me and doesn't understand why I don't like him (oh let me count the ways) and I should respect him because he's the daddy and I should let bygones be bygones despite (I think he said this) "my leftover feelings for him", and it would be nice if I called him back sometime to talk when he (rarely) calls my cell phone. I told him if he has something to say, leave a voice message. That will do. He said, well most can be handled by a VM but we need to work on raising her together. We're both her parents and she needs both of us.

Oh yadda yadda!

When I didn't say anything he said, "you have absolutely NOTHING to say?" I said, "no"

I remember this rhetoric after court in 06. I remember how convincing he was. I remember falling for it. I remember being reminded right quick how full of sh-- he is. The sad thing is, once again during this call, I felt that again. Maybe he really has changed.. But, I took 5 and thought it through.

1) Him asking to talk to Emily at the beginning was a bait. He told his family on T-day that I never let him talk to the child when he calls. He calls once a month maybe and usually doesn't ask to speak with her when he does call. He was LOOKING to start something. I wouldn't be surprised if the new enabler was in the room with him.
2) When he mentioned his impending engagement to the last GF and overnight visits, I reacted. I suspect, he was expecting the same reaction and a fight. He mentioned it once along with the new room. He had a room set up in the old GF's townhome last year. He spent a good 10 min talking about how he wanted to buy her a ring and how they were all ready for D3 to come spend the night. SSDGF. It was a hot button then, why wouldn't it be now?
3) He kept raising his voice to tell me that he didn't call to yell and scream. I wasn't yelling. I said little. I certainly wasn't screaming. When he asked if I had anything to say, he was hoping I would so he could pounce.

I often wonder how this low contact will reflect on me in court. I tried the co-parent, let's be friends thing when he duped me the first time. It resulted in a lot of drama I didn't need and a lot of needless hurt on my part. Not again. EM goes on her visits and she comes home. Fostering the relationship by telling her what a great guy he is, no, I don't do that. I never will. But I've never interfered either and usually plan activities when I know she's going to be away. It gives me some ME time which I never have.

The smartest thing the devil ever did was convince the world he didn't exist.

I often feel guilty because I dislike him so much and I don't really want to carry around a lot of dislike. I absolutely do not want this person back. I frankly find him repulsive and sometimes it's difficult to look at him because all I see is one very ugly person standing there. I do still feel angry because he gets away with it and keeps finding these people to take care of him and take care of Em for him and it's just the injustice of it all. The boy is a toxin. Sometimes I do wonder if Satan walks this Earth as Brian. The idea of talking with him makes me cringe. I put up with him for Emily. As the old saying goes, "Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs." Both times he fell off my stoop, well....I had one whopping grin. I know. I'm going to Hell. But, I'm Catholic and according to the born again dude, I'm going there anyhow so why not smile?

Who's your slinkie?