One of those getting to know you things Christmas style

I never send these things on because I'm a bad friend. I am the name they always list as least likely to play but here's one Christmas style:

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? I HATE WRAPPING!!! It's one of the pains of Christmas. I buy the wrapping paper and spend the night before the Day, sucking down wine while I fight with the damn paper. After losing the scissors, pen, and tape ten times in a pile of wrapping drippings then trying to figure out how to make the paper that I cut too short, fit on the box, I get about two hours of sleep and my presents look like crap! Gift bags!! GIFT BAGS FOR EVERYONE!!

2. Real tree or artificial? FAKE! I like my fake pipe cleaner tree. No dry needles, no fire hazzard, easy clean up and it pays for itself in 3 years.

3. When do you put up the tree? I do not. I make my brother do it so it's usually whenever the stupid Illini aren't playing and he's sober. This year, it was Thanksgiving Day.

4. When do you take the tree down? Infinity, Effinity....the Feast of the three wise men.

5. Do you like eggnog? yes, especially with a shot of rum.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? There were two: my Barbie townhouse that my brother sat on 5 hours after Christmas and bent the cardboard support so it was more like the Barbie townhome post San Francisco Earthquake and this little green record player I got when I was six.

7. Do you have a Nativity scene? Yes, it's a nice one and it's been in the box for the past three years because it's expensive, difficult to put together and my three year old and two cats have no scruples.

8. Hardest person to buy for? My dad because he has every fricking thing. My sister is a close second for the same reason.

9. Easiest person to buy for? Emily. Just order the toy section in the Wishbook.

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Uhh whatever I get at the Bowling grab bag, some perfume (don't wear it) Turtle neck sweater (don't wear those either. I feel like I'm choking)

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Christmas cards??

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Holiday Inn. I have no idea why.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Well, every year I intend to buy a little throughout the year and every year I start around the week before Thanksgiving, put it all on credit cards and have it paid off sometime around the following July.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Does giving it the Goodwill count?

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Cookies, chocolate, beer, wine, beer, shrimp, beer shrimp, champagne...

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Lots of little colored lights on a NON PRELIT TREE inside! White lights outside.

17.Favorite Christmas song? The Halleluiah Chorus by Haydn. God was truly with him when he wrote that. It gives me chills. (It came to my attention that it was Handel that wrote this not Haydn. I knew that! What was I thinking??? I apologize for the misinformation.)

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Sit at home on my ass and drink beer in my jammies.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Dasher, Dancer, Vixen and um..uh... Guess not and RUDOLF does not count! Which one am I'm missing dammit??

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? A beanie baby Ostrich. Ask my brother.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Eve. We're freaks.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Let me count the ways, STARTING WITH WRAPPING PRESENTS! No parking, crowds, going into debt...

But, if we all watch the South Park episode with Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo, we all learn that we spend too much time listening to the Politically correct media gripe about Christmas and all that's wrong with it, that sometimes we forget what's right with it. So screw saying Happy Holidays. It's MERRY CHRISTMAS!

And to my Jewish friends, Happy Chanukkah. I know that starts Wednesday!