Wednesday, May 05, 2010

May 5 is an anniversary of one of the most life changing events in my 42 years. It was the day I heard the words "You have Sarcoma." It is a close second to the words "You have a son."
Four years. As I'm in my 40's, four years is a drop in the bucket but it seems like a lifetime ago that I was living a life free of it, without Dr's, scans, MRI's, and Scanxiety. My cancer journey has been bumpier than some, and smoother than others. But the impact is the same and anyone who has ever heard the words the first time, can tell you the date and the time and how it was said and can describe the gut wrenching feelings that transpired afterwards. It feels like a blow to the stomach. We are paralyzed for a moment, then as the wind returns we say "I'll fight! and I'll WIN." The journey starts out about I but the further we go down that path, the more we come to understand that the journey is about "WE". No cancer patient can do it alone. Cancer is a disease that not only affects the patient but the family and the friends. Some old friendships are lost. Some old friendships get stronger. New friends are made.
Where do I want to be in another 4 years? Cancer free and a nurse. That is the goal. But I have problems dealing with any event that is further out than a month and sometimes that is too long. Life can change in a second.

You can't tell when strange things with meaning
will happen. I'm [still] here writing it down
just the way it was. "You don't have to
prove anything," my mother said. "Just be ready
for what God sends .............William Stafford

3 comments:

Sue G said...

February 10, 2004. Date of my renal cell cancer diagnosis. But I don't recall the dates for the thyroid cancer, the MFH sarcoma, the two other new primary kidney cancers, or any of the biopsy results for the mets to the lungs, lymph, and bone.

The good news is that after the first diagnosis, the rest is all just mundane.

Congratulations on being such a wonderful advocate for sarcoma research and such a good role model for conquering cancer...one minute, one breath, one goal at a time.

You are such a blessing to so many. (You may want to read that sentence to your children on an off day!)

Elsa D. said...

Our dreams will come true Kathy.
Hugs
Elsa

Erin said...

Count me among the new friends!