Monday, May 31, 2010

Happy Memorial Day...is happy an appropriate word for this holiday? We are commemorating all those that have lost their lives fighting for our country. For millions of families, this is not a happy day.

Many years ago, I worked as a server in a small local restaurant associated with the Holiday Inn in Iowa City. Holidays and weekends are meaningless when you work food service so on this particular Memorial Day, I was serving breakfast and lunch to the few people in our hotel and I met, Wayne. Wayne was a homeless drifter thumbing for rides down I80. He was also a Vietnam Veteran who saw the front lines, came back to America suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and was vilified and crucified for his service during this hugely unpopular war. On Memorial Day 1989, Wayne drifted into Iowa City, Iowa and found his way to breakfast in our restaurant after spending a night panhandling. Wayne's behavior was erratic. He stuffed his pockets with buffet food, refused to sit at a table, and wandered in and out to purposefully harass guests and workers in the Hotel. At one point, Wayne went outside and relieved himself in the bushes outside in full view of all restaurant patrons. Then came back in and sat at his table demanding more coffee. I was Wayne's server that day and in his coherent moments, he talked to me about Vietnam with a pained expression on his face. "This is Memorial Day" he said. Then louder he repeated it. The few diners turned around to look at Wayne who by this time, had climbed onto his chair and started screaming at the top of his lungs, "DOES ANYONE HERE KNOW WHAT MEMORIAL DAY IS!!?? ANYONE?" (Our Manager left the restaurant quietly to get security) Pointing to each guest he repeated "Do you know what Memorial Day is? How bout you or you?" Guests looked away. One women looked terrified. At the top of his lungs Wayne shouted "MEMORIAL DAY IS WHEN WE WENT TO WAR, GOT BLASTED AWAY, AND NO ONE GAVE A SHIT!"
At this time, security entered and led Wayne away. He was still yelling as he was led out the door. The diners sat in stunned silence and we workers could just stand and stare.
I think of Wayne every Memorial Day. I wonder how many like Wayne are out there. Soldiers who saw Hell and came home to careless indifference to what they sacrificed. Provided these soldiers survived the war but inside Wayne was just as dead as those who didn't. Let us never forget the magnitude of this sacrifice. America is not perfect but our country is something to be proud of and we must never forget all those people like Wayne who were willing to lay their lives on the line to protect our freedoms. Thank you, Wayne for your service. Though you may have felt forgotten in 1989, I have not forgotten you and I never will.

1 comment:

Sue G said...

How well I remember that war. I hated that war. I marched against that war. But what I hated most was the inability of the people of the United States to separate the warrior from the war. Our military personnel were vilified when they came home, spat upon, cursed, and worse. It was a terrible time, made worse by the stupidity of the ungrateful people who were so determined to lash out against the war that they couldn't see that they were lashing out against our brothers and sisters who were sent to fight.

To this day, I am grateful whenever I see the kindness of strangers when they see military personnel in airports and public places. I am grateful when I see people saying thank you to soldiers who are strangers to them.

I am so grateful that no matter what our political views, no matter what our thoughts about war, we are finally able to separate the warriors from the wars in our judgements and our responses.