I haven't updated in awhile. Truth is, there is not much new to say. Life has settled into its little routine and I work and bowl and yell at the kids and there has been no ripple in the force.
Last night I had a strange dream. Most of the time, I dream nonsensical things but every now and then, I wake up remembering one and thinking "how odd!" I was one of the millions that had a 9/11 related dream months before the day and once something I dreamed would happen, actually did. In college, I did a term paper about Freud's Interpretation of Dreams and actually think that some dreams are an exploration of the subconscious in symbols and metaphors.
When I feel overwhelmed, I have reccurrent dreams about tornados. Sometimes, the house falls apart around me during the whirldwind and sometimes, it stays intact. Sometimes, the storm is in the distance and sometimes it's right overhead. But in my dreams, I am alright and I survive each storm, the house is rebuilt and I live to dream another day.
Last night I dreamed I had an invitation to a dance, a high school dance, from a nameless, faceless person that represented no one I know. I really felt that there was potential with this man/boy but I had reservations and I felt nervous and unsure. Before the dance however, I had a shift at Big Box Store. For some unknown reason, I was unable to clock out at my scheduled time. I was rushing in my dream to finish what I was doing while the person waited for me. We left together but we took separate cars. He went ahead of me and I attempted to follow but wound up losing sight of him. I realized that I forgot to tell him that before the dance, we would be picking up a friend, represented in my dream by an old friend I haven't seen since high school, and that I needed to stop at home and get ready. I attempted to use my cell phone but it didn't work and I was punching the buttons angrily and in great frustration. I gave up on the phone and proceeded on. I got caught in traffic and was conscious that I was late and unsure that this person would wait for me. I grew tired of waiting in the traffic and abandoned the car so I could walk the rest of the way but there was an obstacle and I had to wind my way back to my car which was no longer in the street but in a huge parking lot. I remember I was looking through rows and rows of cars trying to find mine, growing ever more aware that the time was getting later and later and that the dance had started without me. Eventually, despite the obstacles, I made it to the dance which I dreamed, was in the gym of my old high school. The gym was packed and I was making my way through the crowds trying to find my date. I knew he was there and that he waited. .. Then.... my alarm clock went off.
Is the dance my life?
Is this nameless, faceless, full of potential, person a new adventure or a goal?
Do I feel as if I'm missing the dance because of all the things that have been thrown in my path?
Is this a metaphor for my own life?
Or was this just a the ramblings of a mind at sleep?
I know despite my alarm clock going off at that inopportune time, that I was close to finding this person.
Perhaps a happy ending is in the cards.
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