Now that I am over my whine, I am thinking very clearly and am not happy about my little rant here on Friday. I went to bed early on Friday and woke up to a beautiful day the next day, feeling much better. Friday was a bad day and I need to remind myself that I am in control of my life though sometimes, it seems that it is in control of me and the nickels and dimes in my pocket sometimes feel a lot heavier than the stack of dollar bills but though they are heavier, they are worth far far less than their weight would suggest. I need to be mindful not to let the nickels and dimes in my life, dwarf those things that are truly important. For every problem, I can choose my perspective.
Broken oven - Solution: learn lots of stove top creations and go to Home Depot and finally spend all my gift cards on a new grill. Yes, I could use those towards a stove but in July, I have CD coming due that I set aside for unnamed home improvements. I will use on my bedroom and new stove. I want to buy the model I actually want.
High Cell Phone bill - Solution: Teach daughter a lesson by shutting off text capability and have her work off the bill.
Job woes - Solution: Updated resume and am looking for a perfect opportunity that I might like better while doing my best at the current job. My ultimate goal is to return to school but now is not the best time. I can take some online classes if I need to.
Money Problems - Solution: Accept that they will always be there. I am getting by though not as comfortably as I would like to. I will finally make that phone call and come up with a payment plan. As this clinical trial continues, there will be more bills coming in. I have unrealistic expectations of myself that I can pay them all off at one time.

As one very dear friend told me, it will all work out. I feel well and I am grateful for that. My largest tumor is a little more than a cm and I have been remarkably stable. My health is the most important thing. All the other problems are nothing compared to that and I apologize for my rant on Friday. I try not to wallow in self pity for very long.

This week is CT scan week. As I have been on the placebo all these weeks, I have some fears regarding the results. I am hoping things did not get much worse. The upside to that is that they will take me off the poser pills and put me back on the drug until that stops working or destroys the tumors. I am hoping for the latter.

MOther's Day was nice. I worked my second job and enjoyed talking to my customers and coworkers. When I got home, Kris had made me a power point slide show and he and Cass cleaned my room and put the laundry away. Emily returned home from her weekend visit with a bouquet of red roses that she chose for me and was so proud of. They are in my kitchen far far away from my cat Tasha who found the green leaves delicious and knocked over the vase 2 times. After I moved them so it was inconvenient for her to chow on them, Kris knocked them over while trying to get a drinking glass out of the cupboard. Oddly enough, they mysteriously toppled yesterday while no one was in the room. I saw no cat streak from the kitchen wet from water. Amusing.