I've been suffering with a case of, "there isn't much going on" so I haven't been able to come up with anything fun or interesting to write about.
I spent a few hours at Big Box Store this past weekend amazed that anyone would even bother to leave the house in below 0 weather to save a few dollars on socks but there they were, the masses. Of course they stuck me at the register by the door so I nearly froze to death. It was the usual slew of customers. One womans credit card was denied. She told me to hold onto her purchases while she went to get cash at the bank. Never saw her again and I felt bad for her especially since it was all items that people NEED, not necessarily want. One lady had attitude all over her as she threw her things onto the conveyor belt. She barely looked at me and other than yo criticize the way I bagged her soda, didn't say two words. I knew I would do something wrong. Whatever! People are just darn picky about the way things are bagged. I mean really! If all a person has to worry about is how their two liter bottle of 7-UP is bagged, they either pretty darn lucky, or pretty darn miserable. I've found after all those years in the Restaurant profession, that nothing really surprises me much anymore. There's an old man I've seen come in every Sunday. He grabs a cart. He's in the store for at least 2 hours walking the aisles and he buys absolutely nothing. I wonder if the greeting he gets when he walks in the door and the goodbye he gets when he walks out, is the only human contact he has.

Since Psychology has always interested me, I enjoy working there because it's a great human study. Everyone I had contact with has some issue they are dealing with. One woman is going through a divorce so she's been asking me about the process. One has Kidney Dialysis every other day. One, is working two jobs to support three kids. One is a cancer survivor. One has really nothing at all except her husband. She doesn't get me at all. The first thing she told me is, I should find a husband so I don't have to work anymore. I laughed. I tell ya, if I had a nickel for every time someone has said that to me, I probably wouldn't have to work. I told her that none of the men I dated and certainly not the one I actually married, solved any problems at all. They just created new ones. Usually, it's the guys that say such things. When I worked at Berghoff, I heard that same line from every waiter in the place. I kept telling them it was because I kept meeting guys like them that I was still single. No wonder they never listened to me.

Ma Bell is the same. Have some project I'm supposed to be doing and some testing of some new features on our old applications. This has resulted in at least a half day worth of meetings pretty much every day. I absolutely HATE meetings! I really try to pay attention. I'm even taking notes but after awhile I find myself wandering over to EBAY and looking at glass and coins. Picked up a nice 1935 Mercury Dime with full split bands for $14 and got outbid (fortunately) on 6 Fostoria Wisteria Parfait glasses. Tomorrow, my morning is taken up by our quarterly District meeting. Everyone asks the same questions namely, how many are getting laid off this year? How many jobs are going overseas this year? And, when will our esteemed company give us decent health insurance instead of a choice between three crappy HMO's and a high deductible plan? It's nice to know me and the rest of the cubicle brigade have the same thoughts. I figure I'll just play the game below.

How to Stay Awake in Boring Meetings!

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that.

1. Before (or during) the next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5" x 5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns-five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
Synergy, strategic fit, core competencies, best practice, bottom line, revisit, expeditious, to tell you the truth (or "the truth is), 24/7, out of the loop, benchmark, value-added, proactive, win-win, think outside the box, fast track, result-driven, knowledge base, at the end of the day, touch base, mindset, client focus(ed), paradigm, game plan, leverage.

3. Now check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"
___

"Real Testimonials" from satisfied players, after the jump...

"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won." - Adam W., Atlanta

"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically." - David T., Orlando

"What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win." - Dan J., New York City

"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G., Denver

"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours. The Bullshit Bingo Championship will be played at the next meeting." - Rod H

That's all for now. Creativity is stunted and I need to get up early. Em has been having coniptions about being in her big girl bed so it's been hairy at night as I have to fight her for an hour and listen to her scream. She just has a lot of issues with transitions even when they are transitions she wants. Overall, she's been pretty well behaved the past couple weeks. A small but welcome blessing.