Life has settled into some sort of routine. I get up, I have coffee, I fight with Emily about almost everything pertaining to getting ready and out the door in the morning. When I come home from dropping her off, I enjoy peace and quiet for a couple hours. At some point, I straighten up the kitchen, wash floors etc. On Mon, Tues, and Wednesday night, I go to class. Usually, I have no problem being in class and even enjoy it. Today, as I sat in the large lecture hall learning about T-cells and B-cells, I was overcome with doubt, maybe worry. I've put everything into going to Nursing school. What if I don't like it? What if I am terrible at it? What if I am sorely disappointed in what I am striving so hard for? After 15 years in IT, I know how to sit on a phone and help someone troubleshoot a problem. I know how to order equipment, push vendors to deliver it faster, and draw up excel spreadsheets. I don't know anything about running an IV or drawing blood and I worry that in a critical moment in a patients life, I'll crash and burn. I know it stems from the unfamiliarity. I enjoyed my CNA clinicals but I never felt entirely comfortable. I worried that I would inadvertently hurt someone, drop a resident, forgot something important, you name it. But, I've come too far in this process to turn back and I'm pretty sure that I can't fit myself back into corporate America so easily anymore.
So, I am moving forward.
Nick and Friends Sarcoma Foundation, www.fightsarcoma.org, is having a fundraiser for Sarcoma in Comanche Park on October 30. There will be games, music, and food, LOTS of food. If you live in this area, near this area or are passing through, consider stopping by.
The official press release:
When: Saturday, October 30 · 11:00am – 10:00pm
Where: Comanche County Park, Pavilion #2, San Antonio, Texas
Brought to you by: Nick & Friends Sarcoma Foundation, AT&T Telecom Pioneers , Briggs Equipment and Many others.
Join us for a BBQ fund raising event. There will be concerts, a dance, kids costume contest, raffles, games and much more. The entire day will be jam packed with great food and fun activities. All proceeds benefit Nick & Friends Sarcoma Foundation.
For more information, please contact shaw-family0136@sbcglobal.net
I unfortunately, am sitting this one out due to unemployment and debt but send my very best to all my friends who will be there and am hoping and praying that the event raises some significant funds for research and patient support.
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About Me
- Kathy
- Most of the time, I'm sitting here raising 2 sassy teens who know everything and a bossy toddler who has the attention span of a gnat. I'm picking out the gray hairs daily. Please send hair dye. In 2006, my already complicated life became more complicated when a large tumor was removed from my upper thigh. The tumor was a Sarcoma, a rare cancer for which mainstream treatment options are limited and few and I was propelled into a world of experimental therapies. I blog here about the mundane intermixed with the unthinkable and continue to work for remission while raising children as a single parent.
2 comments:
Thanks so much Kathy for letting me know you had been on a Brivanib study. I went back and read your posts. You seem to have handled the drug a bit better than I am.
When you said you were often thirsty ... I thought, yes I would have to say I'm a bit more thirsty since starting the drug.
All the best to you ...
I would allow you to be my nurse any time...and i am quite picky. I'm one of those patients who advocates for herself and so many others that sometimes I think I am running the hospital rounds myself.
Don't doubt yourself, Kathy. You're exactly where you're supposed to be. And you will be great at it.
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