A "my mundane life update"

This week, my baby Emily started Kindergarten. She has been looking forward to this day for months and consequently, I have been preparing for this day for months. I was hoping for a smooth transition into school and as transitions are always tough for Emily, I wasn't expecting a smooth anything. On Monday, Emily woke up bright and early and I do mean early. It was 6:00am when she bounced out of bed, ran to her closet, chose some clothes and insisted on breakfast. I am useless without coffee and while she ran around in circles, I walked a straight line to the coffee pot because that is generally where my brain is that early in the morning and I am completely mindless until it finds its way back into my head sometime after the first cup. At 7am, I served breakfast which Emily broke speed records eating. I then sat down at my little home office and attempted to weed through some emails and was interrupted every 30 seconds with "Is it time to go yet?" "No, Emily. After lunch." I would say. At 8:30am, Emily asked for her lunch. Yes, I know. Precious! Maybe the first 20 times she asked it was. But as it was becoming clearer and clearer that I was not going to get a darn thing done, I began racking my coffeeless brain for ideas on how I could appease her until 12:00 when her fans (ie grandma and grandpa) would arrive and we would take pictures and walk her to school. After several tantrums, a few tears, the implementation of her medications and the growth of a few new gray hairs in my head, I got her calmed down enough to watch "Spongebob Squarepants." It didn't last long but the 10 minutes of peace was nice. FINALLY, noon arrived along with her grandparents and great grandma and she bounded out of the house with her backpack to pose for a few photos. She didn't exhibit one second of nervousness or fear. She stood in line and waited patiently and didn't want me to kiss her in front of her classmates. She's a fast learner. Kris let me have a hug and a kiss until at least the 2nd grade before he was too embarrassed. And into the school she went, peacefully and without protest. She did remarkably well in school and her behavior has been top rate.....THERE. Home, on the other hand, has become a challenge. In the mornings, she's bouncing off the walls with excitement. In the afternoons, she's insisting that go play outside the minute she gets home and we've had some knock out drag out's about that. A family moved in a month ago with a child Em's age who happens to be in her Kindergarten class. On one hand, it's great having a child she can play with. On the other hand, it isn't. Emily sits in front of the window like Mrs. Kravitz from "Bewitched" watching and waiting for the neighbor girl to step outside and then she's a beast until I let her out. As I am working, I can't watch her while she plays. The transition from home to school and school to home, needs a little improvement. I am considering after school care for her with the Y. It might be the best solution.
Yesterday, I went to U of C for my usual sit and wait session. I waited in traffic. I waited in the blood lab. I waited in Oncology. I waited for the Dr. who essentially came in, slapped the desk said, "How ya feeling?" I said "Fine!" He said, "Great! See ya in 3 weeks." Now, he will bill my insurance $250 for that. Unfortunately, I need ONE MORE SCAN before I can go on the quarterly schedule.
Today, I let my son risk my life and drive me to the store. As I'm alive to tell the tale, I guess he did alright but my heart was beating in the 100's. I was diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder when I was in my 20's. I have a decent handle on it now but not all the time. It was hard for me to hand my car keys to my son and relinquish the control of the vehicle to my son who has had approximately 30 minutes of driving time behind him. I couldn't relax and something tells me I won't be relaxing ever again, even when the child has a license. The minute that Kris became a teen, I have been holding my breath. Emily is predictable. Difficult, yes but predictable and she is little yet. My son is now 16. In 2 short years, he will be an "adult" and little by little, I will need to relinquish to my son, more than just the car keys. Today was only a little illustration of how hard that is going to be.