Last night I had a certifiable hissy fit which is carrying into this morning.
In August 2008, I had decided to go back to school and finally finish that CCNA certificate I had wanted. As the job market was beginning to go South, I felt that this certificate would be a help to distinguish me from all the other laid off IT workers should it come to that. I signed on for 4 courses that were designed to help me pass the certification test that met on Monday and Wednesday nights from 6-10.
I knew it was going to be a demanding schedule. As I was up to my armpits on a huge account at work that resulted in working into the wee hours, my classes were an added stress. My schedule was this:
M and W class from 6-10
Thursday - Bowling night (I'm the league secretary. Added responsibility)
Friday - nights at Big Box Mart
Sat and Sun - Full 8 hour shifts at BIg Box Mart
Tuesday was my one day off and it was usually spent studying or catching up on work on my account.
I transferred the household duties to the children which is where the hissy fit came in. Though I was rediagnosed in November and could not finish the other two classes, the duties remain with the children and needless to say, my children have not exactly been supportive. Cassie's idea of cleaning is to throw everything in Emily's toybox, dirty laundry, dishes, garbage, papers, books, towels, brushes, old magazines, shoes. It's all in there and what falls behind the toybox, stays behind the toybox. When she cleans the bathroom, she skips the shower and the toilette. If garbage falls on the floor, it stays on the floor and usually swept behind the toilette which hasn't been cleaned for ages. I took the laundry duties back after 15 pairs of socks disappeared and I was looking at an empty closet. I had no idea where my clothes were. I went on a 4 day scavenger hunt and found clothes in the spare room under the bed, in the toybox, in my sons closet, under the stairs..... So, to spare myself from nudity, I do the wash WHILE I work my full time job during the day. My son loves to skip floor washing, sweeping, and essentially cleans like my daughter. Over the Summer, my son left an open gas can on the freezer in the garage. Instead of moving the gas can out of the way when he accessed the freezer, he just left it there so that it slid and toppled causing the gas can to spill behind the freezer. Then he left it there. I was so angry, I couldn't yell, couldn't speak. He could tell my displeasure by the popping veins and red face. That coniption has become a household legend. Fast forward to last night. My daughter had made some Hamburger Helper the other day and didn't feel like washing the pan. Instead, she placed some hot soapy water in the pan and left it by the sink. I reminded her Thursday, Friday and yesterday morning to clean the pan already because a swarm of flies was starting to buzz over it. I then went to my second job and of course worked HARD. We were phenomenally busy all day. I never had a break from a long line and was feeling a little punchy by the end of the day. I walked into my house and found that the dirty pan was still sitting there, not one paper had been thrown out, actually nothing had been done at all. The only change was a few new dishes piled inside the dirty pan and I was given some lame excuse by my daughter that Kris had not done his part in the kitchen and THAT is why she couldn't run a sink full of water and clean the pan. I.....BLEW.....UP! I went "Gas can" on the children.
I hate, hate, hate, sweating small stuff. I have enough big issues in my life to deal with and comparably, this is just small potatoes. Part of my ire is absolute disappointment in my children that while I work two jobs and fight cancer, they don't seem to feel that they should help out and treat what I work so hard for like it's nothing, as if I can just go outside to our newly planted money tree and pick off a few thousand to fix what they break or don't take care of. I know many that have lost children this year and I'm sure those that did would take the 4 day old dirty, fly ridden, pan if it meant that those children could be back with them. I feel guilty. But, I also know that these children need to grow up understanding compassion, sticking together, working together and learning respect for the property of others. I somehow seem to be failing at teaching them this lesson and whatever I try falls flat and I am out of ideas. For now, I have informed my son and daughter that there will be no driving lessons or accomodations to go to the Homecoming Dance next Saturday unless they finish their chores. We'll see how they do today. Will I be happy with the work they did or will I go "Gas Can" on them again?

Last week, they started their Confirmation classes. As the Catholic faith focuses on works, I'm hoping they learn a few lessons from the Community Service they are required to do in order to be confirmed. Maybe they can start with the mess in the garage..