Thursday, December 22, 2011

My first semester of nursing school is completed! Last Tuesday, I took my final and celebrated by making an emergency doctor appointment to knock out the sinus infection that made studying a real challenge. Then I slept which is something I didn't do much of all semester. I will not lie, though I had a good time, met some cool people and cared for some interesting people, I have really enjoyed NOT going to class, studying, worrying and running around this past week and have turned my attention to the next pressing thing...putting together a Christmas celebration in 2 days while working an overnight job and an 8 hour shift on Christmas Eve and washing 4 months of neglect out of my house. I have been doing laundry for 3 solid days, cleaning carpets, Christmas shopping because until Monday, I hadn't bought a single present. The kids have sort of been helpful...ok not really but I learned a long time ago that they are not reliable. My son's idea of helping is waking up at noon, taking 45 min to eat a bowl of cereal, then taking a 45 min shower, going outside to smoke a cigarette before taking a 15 minute break to play a game on Xbox. After I've yelled at him to get his butt moving 10 times, he'll pick something up off the floor and then tell me he'll finish it later because he has work. Cassie sits on Facebook and updates her status about shrew, slavedriver mom who is cracking the whip. After I've yelled at her a few times, she'll pick something up and then complain she's tired. Emily...forget it. Getting her to do anything is a pointless exercise in futility. This Christmas, we are so far behind the 8 ball that we just finishing decorating the tree 3 days ago. Though my son DID put up the tree, he only put the lights on half of it. That looked a little ridiculous in our picture window!

It was also time to turn my attention back to cancer land. It was scan day yesterday. I had a chest X-Ray in June so this was the first post surgery scan and I was Sooooo nervous. I've been under a lot of stress, haven't slept much, and haven't been as diligent about taking care of myself. I had nightmares about a lung full of little sarcomas. But, the scan was good overall but it wasn't a pure NED. It never is with me as I have granuloma in my lungs or what one radiologist marked as granuloma. Since cancer was found in my body, there is no such thing as a benign spot without a biopsy proving that. There is an itty bitty nodule in my right lung that has been there for years that looked slightly bigger. It was measured as 2.5 mm last year and was a spot the surgeon opted not to try to remove because it was too small and he wasn't sure he could find it. This year it measured 3.6mm. 1mm possible growth in one year. There is a 2 mm deviation. This scan could have hit the nodule in a different spot or I could have been caught in a deeper respiration. There was nothing new so we watch the spot. If it decides to grow, we'll assume it's sarcoma and unfortunately removing it will mean PAIN due to it's location but I'm happy! I am free to enjoy Christmas and go forward into my next phase of nursing school without having to deal with chemotherapy. The best gift of all! Thank God!

As I will be dealing with the removal of nursing school and cramming Christmas prep in every second, I doubt I'll type here until after the holiday. Have a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!

1 comment:

Sue G said...

I'm so glad I came here to see if there was a relatively new post. You have posted so little on either site that I find I don't check as frequently as I should.

That said, finding an update was a pleasant surprise! And to find one that is so positive is a huge bonus. The science of measurement on scans is imprecise, to say the least. And when you are dealing with milimeters, well, it is even more difficult. I think this report is exceptionally good. Revel in the blessing of it and move on...which is exactly your style.

I pray this semester is one of strength for you: a strong sense of purpose, a strong commitment to doing what is necessary to create the future you want, a strong support from family and friends, a strong grasp of the information you are being given, a strong source of energy for you physically, emotionally, and spiritually so that you have what you need at any given moment to succeed.

Strong. Like you. Even when you think you may be weak, know that you are strong. And even when you KNOW you are weak, KNOW God is stronger. He tells us that it is in our weakness that He does his most important work. Wrap yourself in that knowledge and let it cover you like a blanket of comfort and support.