Cleanup in Aisle 7

In my efforts to reduce my debts, I started the process of applying for part time jobs a month ago. It's not something I really wanted to do. I mean, I work full time for Ma Bell, deal with my kids crap and work crap and life crap, why not a little crap from disgruntled and crabby holiday shoppers too? I started at .....Wal-Mart this past Saturday: the granddaddy of retail. The HR person called on Friday and told me I needed to be at an orientation on Saturday morning. Here I am thinking one or two hours of work and I leave. Eight hours later, I was walking out of there and of course the kids did basically very little around the house. Cass still hasn't finished her weekend chores. She swore she cleaned her room. But when looking for laundry, I saw crammed under her end table, a bowl, a spoon, two glasses of water and an empty carton of frosting. I guess under the bed and end table in the kid handbook is NOT part of the room. I reamed her out and had her wash those dishes and told her if there is a single crumb in her room from now on, her new bigger and better room is going to Emily and she can continue to trash the room she's got.

My sense of humor lately is very compromised. I know they say being a mom is the toughest job you'll ever love but I really really think that sometimes that is the biggest load of crapola ever spouted. Kristopher likes to make smoothies. He KNOWS he is not supposed to because he makes a mess and doesn't clean it up and it requires the use of an appliance that I'm not 100% sure I trust him with. Tonight, after giving Emster a bath and helping Cass study for her history test, I finished up washing some supper dishes and noticed a glass that smelled remarkably like Smoothie. GRRRRRRR! The blender was kinda washed, kinda..but he left drips of smoothie on the counter illustrating yet again why I generally don't allow to make himself anything in the kitchen. So, I asked him under whose permission he made himself that smoothie and HE LIED TO ME and told me he NEVER touched the strawberries or the blender. Really Kris, do I have STUPID branded in my forehead??? I said, evidence one, half rinsed out cup. Evidence 2, drips on the counter. Evidence 3, spoon that smells a whole heck of a lot like strawberry. "Ok but I only took a few strawberries." TO THE MOON, KRIS!

Cass, there are a bunch of dishes under your bed. Do you mind telling me how they got there? "I don't know." She says! ........OH PLEASE!!

We have strict rules about eating in the Living Room and the Basement. Yesterday, after Kristopher "cleaned", I went downstairs and inspected and found at least 10 empty juice box wrappers crammed behind the DVD player, in the toybox, in the video cabinet, under the couch, behind the couch, in my piano bench, under the sink in the bathroom and in various places in my sons room. Of course neither of the kids drank them. I keep forgetting we have those dish stealing, juice box drinking gnomes. Currently, 5 forks and 5 spoons are missing. I have no idea where they are. Found one under the sink in the downstairs bathroom. My guess is they are with Jimmy Hoffa.

Perhaps working at Wal-Mart with crabby disgruntled holiday shoppers will be easier than dealing with my children and I get paid for that.