Thursday, November 29, 2007

Oh blah!

It's been a very bad night and I'm exhausted.

Kris kicked his ear infection but has been complaining of stomach aches on and off for the past two weeks. He was fine on Thanksgiving. The day after T-day, I let him go to the movies with a friend. The day after, he was complaining that a hamburger he ate at the mall didn't agree with him but was in decent spirits. Sunday, he was on the couch with a low grade temp and he took many trips to the bathroom. Yesterday, he came home from school and said he felt tired. We took his temp and he had a low grade fever of about 99. He ate dinner and an hour after dinner, said it didn't agree with him and he threw up. From that point on, he was throwing up every 5-10 minutes. I sent him to bed. I went to bed and slept an hour. Around 1am, he woke me up and said he couldn't stop throwing up. It was awful. His stomach wouldn't handle water. It wouldn't even tolerate his own saliva. Around 2:30, I called the hospital and they recommended I page the Dr. on call at my Dr's office. I did that prepared to take Kris to the ER if need be. The Dr. never called back. Luckily, Kris stopped throwing up around 4am. At 6am he woke me up to say he was able to take a sip of water. HOORAY! He's resting now but has a temp of a 100. I'm allowing him only fluids right now which he's not griping about. His stomach still hurts from all the puking but he says, the nausea he's been feeling on and off since Saturday morning is gone. I hope this is a step in the right direction for him.

Em is out for the day so I have some peace and quiet.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

My week ...

I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving. Last week must have been the most chaotic week ever!

The weekend before Thanksgiving I had shopping to try and get to, carpet cleaning, kids, driving, housework, this and that.. I went into Wally World for a few hours Sat afternoon to do some of those online courses they wanted done. I had maybe 15 or 18 to do before they put me on the schedule and each one took about 20 minutes. If I didn't pass, I had to go through the whole damn thing over again without the option to skip ahead. BLAH! I did three hours worth and ran home. Of course the kids hadn't started on the house. The place was a disaster! My daughter may have picked up one piece of clothing from her floor. My son probably accomplished a few messages on Myspace and little else. Em was running around unclothed. Chaos, mass hysteria....Spent Saturday night cleaning and getting the wash started. Sunday, I decided I would clean the carpet just one more time before the holiday spills, ribbon filled cat yak, spilled beer, food, chocolate etc. etc. Moved all the furniture and got the LR ready for the tree which I hadn't bought yet. Got done at 7. My back hurt. My legs hurt. But the LR looked nice and everything was arranged for the tree. Monday, spent all day on the phone working an expedite for one of our holiday dependent customers. Couldn't get Em to daycare. She was a pain in the butt all day waiting until I was on the phone with my boss and others to raise a fuss and be difficult. Unfortunately, I couldn't take her to Grace's becasue I had conference calls every hour with the team to discuss the expedites. I grew hundreds of gray hairs that day but we got the equipment out despite the obstacles. Kris had a trumpet lesson. I needed to get dinner on the stove. Em was yanking my arm because she wanted to play her "pickle chips" game (pixelchicks.com) Cass was griping about her day. Had to go to the store after dinner to get dry goods. Did that. Forgot cat litter. Got home at 8:30. Gave Em a bath. Attempted to sit down and relax but that was futile. I cheered when all kids were in bed and I could enjoy some me time. "Me time." HA HA.. My me time consisted of me falling asleep. Tuesday, more of the same. Had siding replaced last week so there were workers here pounding on the walls for 4 days. Scads of old siding was all over the lawn and the mailman couldn't get to the front door. Received notice that they returned a registered letter to the Post Office for that reason. Great! Now I have to go get the letter AND the damn tree and shop for Thanksgiving. To top it all off, a couple carpet guys called to schedule estimates. Scheduled carpet guy one for Wed morning. Carpet guy two was scheduled for this past Monday. Grocery shopped. Forgot the cat litter AGAIN. Hauled $150 worth of groceries into the house. Went to the post office to pick up the registered letter. Was told that it wasn't back yet from the carrier. Told to come back Wed. Made dinner. Bath for Em. Study with Cassie for her Science test. Kicked Kristpher off Myspace. Cleaned kitchen. Studied a little for the GRE. Ran around until end of the day and collapsed with the kids. Wednesday, worked, left to run an errand at the courthouse. My morning carpet estimate didn't happen. I thought I'd pick up the registered mail, go into Walmart and do more courses, and when Joe came home, get the tree from Menards when Joe returned home that night and before Black Friday. As I was driving back from the Post Office, the carpet installer called and said he was 10 minutes from my house. UGH!! Ran home and abandoned Wal-mart since it was just courses. Figured I'd get the tree after dinner. When I got home, message from Joe that he wouldn't be in that night. UGH! Kris was whining he wanted to go to a movie. Cass was whining she wanted to go to a friends. I exploded! The kids eyes were like saucers. Kris called his friend and said mom is freaking out. I need to stay home and help. Cass pouted but went and started cleaning the LR for the next day. House is still a disaster. I don't have the damn tree. It's snowing and crappy outside. WAHHHH!! Got my estimate. Went out in the crap with Kris and picked out a tree and hauled that 100lb sucker home. Spent the evening cleaning, then lived in a state of vegetation for the next few days. We got the holiday decorations up and I finally remembered the cat litter. The poop that my cat took in one of the bedrooms was a good reminder. MOLLLY!!!

Over the weekend, my work laptop died. I modified my home PC to access some of my work apps but I've been bored and feeling guilty and totally useless just sitting here. Went into Wal-mart Monday night to finish more courses. Ran into one of the managers who needed to clock me in. When we tried, the badge didn't work. To make a long story short, they put me on the schedule for this past weekend and noone told me. As far as I knew, I wasn't done with my courses yet. Well, he said, Didn't you get a handwritten schedule? Umm.. no one handed me one or discussed one with me. Oh.. well, you better call HR in the morning and explain to her. Well that's a load of crap! I felt so stupid and so humiliated. Not only did I not receive any communication from the department supervisor that they put me on the schedule, no one called when I didn't show up. If they had, I would have scooted out the door and apologized profusely for my ignorance and they wouldn't have wasted all that money on training me. In addition, they would have someone now and not 3weeks from now but hey, I'm not a manager so what do I know. I guess it's better to assume the employee blew you off. So much for their "Respect for Individual" clause. I hadn't been trained on the position. Tossing a brand spanking new employee in a job without introducing them to their supervisor, discussing hours, and explaining the position when the busiest shopping weekend of the year is looming, is normal there? I dunno. I haven't been able to reach to the HR person yet. I can't wait to have that conversation. I do know that I have decided that I'm not pleading for that job back. I'll take the Christmas season, enjoy it and revisit part time employment after the holidays.

Oh, Cass had a bloody nose yesterday. She gets them often during the Winter because of the dry air. I toldher to look in the medicine cabinet for the Vaseline. A little later she came back and said, "Mom, we don't have any Vagisil." Uh Say what?? You know, Vagisil.. what you told me to find. Well LOL!! That cracked me up. No honey, I said VASELINE.

Have a better week than me.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me....

Finding a Christmas Tree..

It has been brought to my attention that my old fake tree is starting to go the way of the Charlie Brown tree. It all started with two kittens and has ended with a rambunctious, defiant, toddler. So the thing has a few gaps but whatever, if it's a new tree I need, what the heck. Most people really like the real tree thing. Not I. $20 bux, gotta haul the thing myself, deal with a fire hazzard, and pick needles out of the carpet until the following Thanksgiving. That is just NOT for me. I'm lazy. I want a fake tree and I want a fake tree that is NOT PRE-LIT. Some Christmas tree manufacturer was bloody brilliant!! The Pre-lit trees just scream, HEY! I'm LAZY but they also scream HEY! I really wanna go broke buying new Christmas Trees. My dad bought a nice, expensive Pre-lit that lasted about 3 Christmases. Then a light burned out and when one went out, THEY ALL WENT OUT thus totally erradicating the total coolness of not having to take 20 minutes and string their own lights but, did create the need for a new 400 dollar tree. The best laid plans, I tell ya.... So, I have searched Loews, Home Depot, Menard's and Sears and all they seem to be advertising are the Pre-lit online anyway. Like I said, I'm lazy. This now means I now have to actually go to the damn store..the second thing at Christmas that is such a pain to me! Unless it's a bookstore or liquor store, I never darken a store doorstep from the week before Christmas until the last holiday sale sometime in January. Hello online shopping delivered compliments of my brown shirted UPS Santa. Goodbye parking problems, crowds, pushing and shoving and having to actually leave the house, drive in the cold and walk from BFI to the front door of the shopping mall. The things I do for my kids. At least I don't have anymore kittens.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Cleanup in Aisle 7

In my efforts to reduce my debts, I started the process of applying for part time jobs a month ago. It's not something I really wanted to do. I mean, I work full time for Ma Bell, deal with my kids crap and work crap and life crap, why not a little crap from disgruntled and crabby holiday shoppers too? I started at .....Wal-Mart this past Saturday: the granddaddy of retail. The HR person called on Friday and told me I needed to be at an orientation on Saturday morning. Here I am thinking one or two hours of work and I leave. Eight hours later, I was walking out of there and of course the kids did basically very little around the house. Cass still hasn't finished her weekend chores. She swore she cleaned her room. But when looking for laundry, I saw crammed under her end table, a bowl, a spoon, two glasses of water and an empty carton of frosting. I guess under the bed and end table in the kid handbook is NOT part of the room. I reamed her out and had her wash those dishes and told her if there is a single crumb in her room from now on, her new bigger and better room is going to Emily and she can continue to trash the room she's got.

My sense of humor lately is very compromised. I know they say being a mom is the toughest job you'll ever love but I really really think that sometimes that is the biggest load of crapola ever spouted. Kristopher likes to make smoothies. He KNOWS he is not supposed to because he makes a mess and doesn't clean it up and it requires the use of an appliance that I'm not 100% sure I trust him with. Tonight, after giving Emster a bath and helping Cass study for her history test, I finished up washing some supper dishes and noticed a glass that smelled remarkably like Smoothie. GRRRRRRR! The blender was kinda washed, kinda..but he left drips of smoothie on the counter illustrating yet again why I generally don't allow to make himself anything in the kitchen. So, I asked him under whose permission he made himself that smoothie and HE LIED TO ME and told me he NEVER touched the strawberries or the blender. Really Kris, do I have STUPID branded in my forehead??? I said, evidence one, half rinsed out cup. Evidence 2, drips on the counter. Evidence 3, spoon that smells a whole heck of a lot like strawberry. "Ok but I only took a few strawberries." TO THE MOON, KRIS!

Cass, there are a bunch of dishes under your bed. Do you mind telling me how they got there? "I don't know." She says! ........OH PLEASE!!

We have strict rules about eating in the Living Room and the Basement. Yesterday, after Kristopher "cleaned", I went downstairs and inspected and found at least 10 empty juice box wrappers crammed behind the DVD player, in the toybox, in the video cabinet, under the couch, behind the couch, in my piano bench, under the sink in the bathroom and in various places in my sons room. Of course neither of the kids drank them. I keep forgetting we have those dish stealing, juice box drinking gnomes. Currently, 5 forks and 5 spoons are missing. I have no idea where they are. Found one under the sink in the downstairs bathroom. My guess is they are with Jimmy Hoffa.

Perhaps working at Wal-Mart with crabby disgruntled holiday shoppers will be easier than dealing with my children and I get paid for that.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Too many worries and just not enough humor

There just hasn't much good news lately so I've been lacking on really funny material because there just hasn't been much. Things are kind of UN-Fun at the moment.

Kristopher had a nasty cold. A trip to the Dr. 2 weeks ago revealed a nice double ear infection. Got him on the antibiotics. Then I got the nasty cold and spent 4 days with a 102 temp and a headache. Believe me, I was quite the crabass. To make matters worse, Emily was absolutely atrocious the few days I was laid up and I was ready to trade her in for a puppy. On the fifth day, the fever broke but I still had a cough which finally has gone away leaving me with the same crappy allergies I've had since May. Kris still has his ear infection even after his 10 days of antibiotics so we are trying a different antibiotic. While we're on the subject of Kristopher, an envelope from his school arrived last week. Inside was a lovely letter from the assistant principal informing me of a disciplinary action taken because my son stood up in the middle of his first period class and told a classmate to "fuck off." OY!!! I could only bang my head on a wall. To make matters worse for my son, he lied to me. He told me he stayed after school to practice for his Jazz band tryout. Actually, he was serving a detention. GROUNDED. When his mid semester grades arrived a few days later..... we'll just say he might be off grounding by the time he is 30. I would like the universe to explain to me how in the world my son, with a mom who majored in English, a grandma who was an English teacher, an Uncle who teaches English, an Aunt who majored in English and a Great Aunt who majored in English can get a C- in ENGLISH?????? Well mom, I boffed the test on "The Odyssey" Uh HUh! Next time number one son, try opening the book and reading it!!! His MYSPACE and Guitar Hero time is now severely limited.

Problem number two is Emily. Everyone that knows me and knows Em, also knows she has always been difficult. As a baby, she cried and cried constantly. I thought at the time it was Colic. I'm beginning to think Emily just has an inability to calm herself. As a toddler, she has issues with changes and transitions and not just the big changes, the little ones. Mr. Monk lives in my house. The past couple months, she has become increasingly more difficult to deal with. Every day is a battle. When the weather got colder, I had to dress her in long pants, socks and shoes and a jacket. She absolutely REFUSED to wear the jacket and kicked so I couldn't put on the shoes. She just couldn't understand that the weather wasn't warm anymore and flip flops and shorts can't be worn anymore. I put her in the jacket and attempted to haul her to the car. She plopped down on the ground screaming. I picked her screaming little self up and tried to put her in her car seat. She stiffened so I couldn't buckle it. After a 30 minute all out, drag out tantrum, she finally calmed down enough for me to get her buckled in. And so it goes, every day, to daycare, from daycare, at home...it's endless. Today, after it took Kris and me to get her dressed, me to hold her and him to put her shoes and socks on, I was in tears. She screamed all the way to Grace's house. True to form, she screamed all the way home as well and Grace's daughter had to help me get Em into the car. I feel like such a failure. I can't get this child to do anything. I can't take her anywhere because the minute I take her out in public, she acts up and I spend so much time shushing her, I don't enjoy myself and neither does anyone in the near vicinity. A couple weeks ago, I took the kids to a nice restaurant for dinner. Em was good for about 30 minutes but I could tell she was building up to a big finish. She had to go the bathroom. This restaurant was small and there was just one bathroom. Emily insisted on going herself but I wouldn't let her and went in the bathroom with her. She literally threw herself on the ground and started screaming. Then she refused to go the bathroom. I took her back to the table and went to the bathroom myself. While I was in there, I heard a scream and what sounded like glass breaking. Emily wanted to play with the salt shaker. She started tossing salt around, so Kris and Cass took it away from her. Emily kicked the table and all the glasses of water tumbled over and spilled on the floor. Emily dove under the table to hide from me. That was it. I had had it. Took her to the car and gave her an "attitude adjustment" I was so embarrassed! I apologized profusely to the staff. And this is what it is like all the time. I discussed this with my family Dr and she is referring me to a Child Development Specialist. I know toddlers have tantrums but I also can tell that my child's behavior is well outside the realm of normal. I just don't know what to do about it. I'm hoping that this person gives me some guidance before Emily grows up to be like the other half of her DNA. That leaves Cassie who is her little angsty self but the easiest of my kids to deal with at the moment. Her biggest concern is what is on sale at Kohl's. She's doing great in school and other than the fact that she doesn't do a great job on chores and we're still finding leftover kleenex, candy wrappers, and cookie crumbs in her room, there hasn't been a whole lot to be concerned about with her.....YET.

More gray hairs...plucking daily.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

My ex is an IDIOT!!

Here we go again. It's like clockwork. He gets a new GF and his head is farther up his butt then when he's not dating. This time, I had a two week reprieve in between GF's where he was somewhat easier to deal with. The phases are predictable. He gets a new GF and is all secretive, shows up at my home talking on the phone in hushed voices or asks if he can take Em on a special outing with "someone." A week later, he picks up Em in "someones" car. The following week, the "someone" is IN the car. The games begin. I'm trashed to this "someone" upside down and sideways. He calls me a horrible mother. He accuses me of abuse. He insists his mom and I are out to get him. The GF becomes the ideal and he tells me how much better the new flavor is than I am as a parent. The GF, absolutely baited hook line and sinker, hates me and speaks out against me too, sometimes calls me the B or the C word, even though I have never officially met them or spoken to them at all. My ex plays victim well. SEE HER REPRESSING ME?? CAN"T YOU SEE HER REPRESSING ME??? He picks fights with me in their presence so they can hear him fighting with me OR he is sticky sweet and phony baloney so they can see how hard he tries to be "nice" while I completely blow him off. Oh but he has such an apple pie face. Maybe so, but the heart underneath is as black as night. My advice for anyone who considers dating this person: Keep an excorcist on staff. He'll be spitting up pea soup soon enough.

So, back in September, he tells me he can't take Emily on visits until after 12 on Sundays just for October. He has drill he says, for the Stickney volunteer FD. Well, OK. I marked it on my schedule. It amazes me he even got that. He has asthma but because he hasn't had an attack for 2 years, decided to omit that from his application. NEVERMIND, that people MIGHT count on him to save their lives, it's all about how he looks to others. OOOO..I"m a Fireman. Aren't I cool? Today is Sunday. Today the doorbell rings at 9am. Cassie pads downstairs and says, it's "Emily's dummy dad's name here". She opens the door and I said, "What are you doing here? You're a little early aren't you?" Mind you, Em had just gone potty and Em can't go potty without removing every shred of clothing so there she is running around naked saying "I wanna stay wif you mommy. I wanna stay wif you!" Idiot says, "Oh, didn't I tell you? I decided to blow off drill this morning." If he had told me, do you think I would have asked him what he was doing there? "Oh" he says, "I told my dad. Nyuk Nyuk!" "ARGH!! YOUR DAD IS NOT ME!!" He's standing there looking all smug. I took Em into my room and scrambled to find socks, underwear, and something for her to wear. I got her dressed, grabbed a pair of PJ's and her blankie, shoved them into a backpack and started working on her shoes. Over a month ago, I alerted Brian that two weeks child support was missing. I went through the records and gave him the missing weeks plus the number in Carol Stream to the state disbursement unit. I did all the research. All he had to do was call the number. My guess is, he lost the weeks and the numbers and has had his head up his butt for so long, he forgot. Since that was a month ago, I asked him what he found out. He said "My company sent the money. It came out of my check so it's out of my hands." I asked if he called the Child Support Division. He said all they gave him were 800 numbers. I said "Then call them." So he went off about how it came out of his check. As far as he's concerned he paid it. It's not his problem and I guess Kathy is just out of luck. I said a judge would consider that arrearage. He said he doubted it since the money came out of his check. But, I said, I notified you of an issue and you refuse to resolve it. He said whatever and took Emily and left. Em gave me a huge hug and she walked off with him looking like she was going to the guillotine. I told him if he pulls "SHIT" like this again, Emily would not be going with him. He said, WHATEVER and left.

Yes State of IL, this is definitely in Emily's best interest. Everyones life is MUCH better now. My kids love it when Brian threatens to kabosh vacations. They love it when he acts like an ass to me. None of us can stand him so we do try to make some merriment out the situation. My brother says he looks like an overgrown Barney Rubble. So, sometimes we call him Barney. There are times I feel like putting his name on "Dontdatehimgirl" but I figure someone, somewhere down the line will do it for me. Now that he's not dating little cop girl anymore, perhaps she'll do it or upload his picture and send it to the dating police.

I guess my biggest issue is, he always gets away with it. Girls let him move in with them, drive their car, and spend their money. He uses them like toilet paper and they are gone when they either start to catch on or he has moved on to the next victim. Every relationship he participates in benefits him in some way. With the one he cheated on me with, he got a job. Her daddy owned the electric company he was working for. That resulted in an Apprenticeship for Brian. An Apprenticeship usually takes years to achieve. He did it in a year. Coincidence? I think not. So, after two years, daddy's girl is gone. Onto the next one. Whoever that was, I do not know. Didn't last too long. After court, he was sickly sweet and nice to ME. Hmm, what did I have to offer? Emily of course, and he was 10G's in arrears. Wouldn't it be nice if Kathy forgot the arrearage. Kathy didn't. :) Now, I'm the witch on wheels. Then there was his neighbors wife. Don't think that got too far. Her husband was none too happy about that. Finally, there was cop girl. That relationship got him a neato car to drive and a place to hang his hat. Since neighbors husband was probably shooting him daggers, he wanted out of his parents place right quick. He meets cop girl and two weeks later, he's moved into her place. New GF has a townhome. Brian needs a place to bring Emily and I'm sure he's moving his stuff in as we speak. Apartments are expensive. He has no money and he's impulsive. There ya have it, another soft place to land. Another unsuspecting victim. The cycle continues. I would just love to see one whap with the Karma stick, just ONE. I feel like a terrible person for wishing that it happens soon. Sometimes Justice is just too slow.

Here's a game someone sent me. Go ahead and blow off a bit of your work day.

http://www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g2/applegame.htm

Thursday, October 18, 2007

We must do it for the children...

I was just listening to the news 5 minutes ago and just had to comment on this absolutely, frickingly, unbelievably ridiculous new ban that Cook County is proposing.
***SOAPBOX WARNING***

Ya'all weren't with me on my blatant opposition to the smoking ban. But, you all said, "SMOKING IS SO BAD FOR YOU and your smoke *cough cough* is making me sick! We could all DIIIIIEEEE" I would like to clarify that I am an EX smoker nor am I PRO cigarette. I would prefer that my children not make the choice to smoke someday but if if toking a smoke is the worst thing they ever do, I will consider myself a successful parent. I told ya'all that if you allow the ban and high taxation of cigarettes, sooner or later the government will ban something YOU like. We don't want to open that box, I said, business owners in America should have the choice as to how they want to run their own business. We, as Americans, should have the choice whether we want to patronize that business or go elsewhere. Is that not Capitalism? As a volunteer for the American Cancer Society, I took issue with them when they spouted that employees have no choice. Pardon me but they do. Thank you Mr. Big Brother ACS and Government but as a former Restaurant Manager, I can tell you that 80% of service industry workers smoke and do worse. I can also tell you that on every city block, there is a food establishment of some kind. Turnover is high in the service industry. Those people are finding work somewhere. Do we really need the government to take control of those choices? Do we want the Government telling us how to live? Apparently those of you in my state said, YES. PLEASE MR. GOVERNMENT! SAVE US FROM OURSELVES! WE'RE OBVIOUSLY TOO DUMB! So folks, thanks to you we now have a proposed BOTTLED WATER BAN!!! Cook County is thinking about banning the sale of bottled water. Not only are they banning it, they are admonishing anyone who buys it calling them perpetrators of Global Warming and dental caries (No flouride in BOTTLED water) and FOR THE CHILDREN (God, I hate that phrase) we must STOP this travesty before it's too late and all your kids drown in a pool of salt water with the polar bears and have bad teeth.

I am seething at this. Of all things, bottled water has now entered the axis of evil along with the smokes, the beer and the cigars. Shame on you all for buying such an evil product. SHAME SHAME SHAME You should all hang your heads for what you have done to America's children. Now, all you evil bottled water drinkers are killing us all too. How does that feel? I can't wait to see the coroners report and hear the statistics of how many people are dying from Second Hand Bottled Water! But we must do this for the children folks. We must squelch your right to free speech with PC rules. We must curb your terrible smoking, water drinking, McDonald's eating ways. We must make sure there are no trans fats in your fries because we all know evil restaurant establishments make you eat the bad food. We must do this all because our children are SUFFERING!! YES..THERE THEY ARE. America's children are suffering and we need to put freedom and our parenting in a box and let the Government raise our children for us. Let me make a prediction that in the coming years, if you all don't speak up, that there will be more bans on twinkies, gum (bad for teeth..global warming..blah blah blah), extraordinary taxes on any food not considered "healthy", limitations on speech, limitations on how a parent can discipline a child, neighbor tattling on neighbor, more ridiculous lawsuits and censorship.

For anyone that hasn't read Orwell's "1984", I urge you to. Newspeak, Big Brother, Children telling authorities on their parents, we see examples of this every day in the news. Al Sharpton wanting to make using the "N" word a hate crime, a child that was asked pointed questions about her parents including details on how much they drink and their system of discipline then had the DCFS called on them as a result, socialized medicine, the banning of the Chief at the U of I, a lawsuit filed by a neighbor against a man in CA for smoking in his own backyard and she smelled it (HORRORS!), carseats until your children are 80lbs, seatbelt laws.. It's wrong. People, I have a really good idea. Mind your own business. If you don't want to be in a smokey bar, go to the one that doesn't allow it. If you don't want to eat a Big Mac, don't go to McD's but don't impose how you live on others because chances are, someone in Govt thinks you're wrong too. Before anyone gets all rattled, I'm not speaking of murder, child abuse and dire circumstances. I'm talking about your right to live your life and manage it on your own with your own, good or bad choices. Mistakes are how we learn. Autonomy as a human being is important to your emotional health.

In the meantime, I think you can make tons of money buying and redistributing cigarettes from Russia, importing bottled water from across county lines and having your own tobacco plants. What do you think?

******END OF SOAPBOX******

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Just wait until next year!

Friday, October 05, 2007

Reflections on Cub Fandom

So, it's Friday night and I'm baking Chocolate Chip cookies for Band Boosters. They are fundraising for a trip to FL to play at the Outback Bowl and I couldn't say no even though I hate baking. It's messy, labor intensive and the baked goods last about 5 minutes on a good day in this place before they're devoured.

Last night, I watched a bit of the Cubs game. Why I put myself through such self abuse, I really don't know. I'm a long time Cubs fan. The first time I sat through a game and made a conscious effort to pay attention, I was about 12. Hermann Franks was manager. Jack "Hey Hey" Brickhouse was announcer. Oddly enough, the first baseball game I ever attended was at Comiskey: The Sox vs Someone or other. I was 6 and couldn't tell Home Plate from a Home Run. I was also bored .... to.... tears and asked question upon question throughout the whole game. If I wasn't about 6 years old, I'm sure the guy and his son sitting in front of us, would have made me a permanent part of the infield. I remember a grand slam during that game which didn't faze me an iota. I was so ready to go home. So, after that game, I left thinking baseball was well, BORING and had no interest in it until puberty when I noticed that the men looked pretty darn good in those tight pants. Yes, embarrassing to say, I started watching baseball because I had a crush on the Cubs second baseman and no it wasn't Ryno at the time. I started watching every chance I got and then the unthinkable happened! The Cubs traded my second baseman to, of all teams, the White Sox. My dad came home laughed at me and said, who is your team now? I said, GO CUBBIES!! I was hooked as a Cub fan. If adolescent hormones couldn't break that bond, nothing could. Here I am 20 some years later, still going through that agony.

I am no fair weather fan. When I was watching, Bobby Bonds was playing first base. Some guy named Junior Kennedy was at Short and some handlebar mustached dude with about a 10. ERA, named Dick Tidrow, may have been their best pitcher. They had no pitching. They had no fielding and they had no fans. My mother took us on Tuesdays, Ladies Day. We paid about 5 bucks to sit in the grandstand and usually that 5 bucks bought us our own section. There were a few people in the bleachers and a few in the box seats behind Home Plate. The camera men were so skilled at finding pockets of people that you would think Wrigley was jammed with people. There was no one. We moved up to the $$ seats (15 dollars) and no one said a word.

It was pretty much par for the course that the Cubs were going to lose. We celebrated every victory and if they lost, well it was the Cubs. It was what we as fans came to expect. It was comfortable like an old shoe, an old shoe with holes in it maybe but an old shoe nonetheless. Our world series consisted of fighting the Mets to stay out of the basement position. .333 win average for the year was par for the course. .500 was UNTHINKABLE. We dreamed about being in contention. We never expected it would ever happen. I related to my Cubs as I went through teen years. I guess they reminded me of me, struggling along, the underdog, lots of angst, a loser. Then there was 1984 and my Cubs were never the same again. All of the sudden, Cubs fans came out of closets, basements, ceilings and Comiskey field. I watched them clinch the Division against the Pittsburg Pirates and it was the most exciting part of my Senior Year. I was revved. This was going to be THE YEAR! IT had been ages. I listed to the story about the goat and the jinx and the gypsy curse. I looked forward to the playoffs. CLeared the family TV so I could watch. Who would have thunk the Gypsy curse would have been Steve Garvey? The Cubs were clobbered. I was heart broken. Then there was 1989. It would be different. They were going to do it this time!! They were clobbered. I was heartbroken again. I lost track of my Cubs for a time, a long time. Tickets that were oh so plentiful in the early 80's were hard to come by. I didn't really have time to watch the games but kept an ear to the news to see how they were doing. Then there was 2003. I decided to risk it. I watched the playoffs. The Cubs were leading 3-1. 3-1!! Odds were on our side. We were going to WIN THAT SERIES and this was going to be OUR YEAR! FINALLY! But as soon as I started thinking that, I caught myself. These are the Cubs we're talking about and memories of 84 and 89 ran through my brain. I saw Moses Alou go for that ball. I saw the Shortstop in that game baubble something routine. I saw my old Cubs right there. The team I knew and loved once again playing in such a way that my sons Little League team may have beaten them. And Bartman, poor Bartman was the new goat so I guess now we can say we let a Goat into Wrigley after all. And I was heartbroken again.

So, here it is 2007. The Cubs won their Division and failed to show up to the playoffs since they are now 0-2. Can they pull it off and win 3 straight at Wrigley? Odds are no and I don't even dare hope. There's a part of me that wishes that it will all go back to the way it was in the 70's and 80's. My team was a loser but I could count on that. Victories were surprises and losses were expected. It was safe. It's often said that a person who is abused everyday is psychologically better off than a person who is abused some days. Why? because the person who is abused everyday, knows what to expect and when to expect it. Am I saying being a Cubs fan these days is like being an abused child? In a way, yes! Battered and beaten, we eat a ton of crow. Since 1984, my Cubs aren't my Cubs anymore. But I'll watch this weekend while I practice saying "Wait until next year!"

Monday, October 01, 2007

The more things change...the more they stay the same.

So, it's Monday. I set my alarm for 6:30 and staggered out of bed at 8:20am. So much for the best laid plans. I hit the coffee pot on the way to the work laptop and sat and stared at the computer screen for a few minutes before attempting to logon and then sat and watched all the email sitting on the server slowly start to download. Chase this. Find that. Where's this. The usual. Four years of doing this job, Four years of dealing with Cisco systems. Four years of living with Murphy and his gosh darn laws in every crevice of this God forsaken corporation. It's all the same. How depressing! Cass and Kris were off to school. Em was still in bed. THANK GOD! I just can't deal with her so early in the morning. Now that she has developed this fascination for everything computer oriented or at least whatever is on the My Little Pony website, she's always pounding on my keyboard, grabbing my mouse, and yanking cables. She sent three IM's last week that said "YYYYYYYYYYYyyJK:FJoiuFP" Actually, maybe I did write that. Sometimes, I don't type very well BC (Before Coffee) but I digress. Nothing really funny happened today either. All of it was...well pretty darn annoying, starting with a 2 hour conference call and ending with a lovely email from one of my son's teachers that said

"If you have received this message, your son/daughter was not prepared to begin class today, either by not having the literature book or not being on task after class began.

Students who do not have materials to participate in class will miss out on the class lesson.

Thanks,
Mrs. Kris's English Teacher "

GAH!!

I did have to arrange a meeting with another of Kris's teachers because my son is getting a D+, yes...a D+!! in one of his classes and a C+ in BAND!!! For the love of pete, all he has to do is show up to Band and he gets an A! So, here's the story: A couple weeks ago, Kris informed me on Sept 13th that the band was to appear at an NIU football game on the 15th. Well that just didn't work out. He had to be at the high school at 5:30am. I had an open house at the University I'm applying to, guests in town, tickets for an event and no one to pick him up from school at 7:30 in the evening. That's OK mom, he said, just write a note explaining that we already have plans for the day which he had me write at 5:30AM the following morning. So, guess what my little Einstein DIDN'T turn in to the teacher. Yes, that's right! That 5:30am note is still sitting in his notebook and Kris gets a big 0 for the gig. Double GAH!! Kicked him in the ass for that one and of course get a ton of static about how none of it is HIS fault. Now, I would love to hear how it isn't his fault because I really need a laugh today. But, I shut him up before he stuck his Reebok in his teenage mouth. He huffed downstairs where Cassie was playing PS2 and for the first time in his life was too pissed at me to hound her. An hour later he comes upstairs and asks me if he can go to his buddy's house for an hour which I ok'd as long as he practiced trumpet and studied for quiz after dinner. Off to work I go, and at 5:10, right as I'm about to leave to get Em from daycare, I get am IM from coworker and from a vendor which I told him I'd have to take on my cell on the way to get the baby. At that very moment, Cassie, sweet innocent Cassie, comes trouncing upstairs wanting to leave to go on a bike ride to nowhere in particular. No, I say. I'm about to leave. I don't want you riding around the neighborhood while I'm gone. WELL YOU LET KRIS LEAVE!! IT'S NOT FAIR!! I DIDN'T GET TO DO ANYTHING YESTERDAY (her fault but another story)!! As, I was running out the door because I was late to get the baby, had no idea what to make for dinner and needed to call a vendor back on an expedite, Cassie was screaming at me and then threw a pen at the door when I left which I reamed her for. If I hadn't have been in a hurry, she'd have a permanent shoe print her butt right now. She lucked out. Nevertheless, while I was on the phone with the vendor, Cass called seven, yes SEVEN TIMES and left 3 messages about how unfair it was.. TRIPLE GAH!!!

So now it's after dinner. THe kitchen is still a mess. The dishwasher is still not emptied out. My son hasn't practiced trumpet OR studied for his quiz. The baby got blue popsicle all over everything. Cassie has given me grief because I wouldn't let her open a cheesecake thingy I bought. The baby needs a bath. I need to study words for the GRE and it's the end of the day and don't feel like it. I wish in my next life I come back as a spoiled housecat. Molly is sitting here, not a care in the world.

I hear screaming. Time to go before the blood flows.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Oh wow...over a year

Hmm...last post Jan 2006. It was snowing. OK so it's been awhile and I totally forgot I had a blog out there in cyberspace with all my mishaps and daily annoyances with my three insane kids. So since the last time I was here, the Cubs won the World Series! HA HA HA HA... OK, that is totally not true but they did just win the Division Friday. GO CUBS!! I haven't seen Hell freeze over yet but who knows, Winter is just around the corner and so is a possibly Cubs-less World Series. "Just wait until next year" that's my creedo. That's my policy! For all you young Cubs fans out there who are whining about the lack of participation on the Cubs part in the last oh lets say 100 World Series, I have one thing to say. SHUT UP! You haven't paid your dues. You haven't said enough "DOH's" and you haven't eaten enough crow. You haven't had enough heckling from all the Oh so smug, South Side fan brigade just yet. Therefore, I will kindly ask ya'all to stuff it. End of soapbox, old time Cub fan, rant!

Too much out happened to catch everyone up on why the long absence. We'll just say there was an interruption in my life and everything changed and I'm still trying to get used to it. That said, I turned 40 yesterday. They say it's a milestone, well at least AT&T did when they congratulated me on my milestone birthday and then added an "Oh by the way, we're raising the cost of your life insurance policy. You'll see the added deduction on your next paycheck." Thanks Guys! Got such a warm fuzzy from that. AT&T and it's death star logo *sigh* just melts my heart with their caring. And thanks to my brother and sister, outside was a nice sign announcing my midlife blues to my friends and neighbors along with 30 wooden beer stein thingys. But, the neighbors had a laugh and laughs are worth a fortune. Now, I am debating how I should show my midlife crisis to the world. I'm too broke for a Porche and a 22 year old. Perhaps a haircut and a bottle of hair dye would do just fine. So, here's to a new decade! If anyone wants to donate the Porche and the 22 year old, I'll take it!

Saturday, January 21, 2006

It snowed last night. It snowed A LOT. It's thick and heavy and sitting in clumps on the tree branches. It's 8am and my neighbor, Dan is already out there with the snow blower. That is so amazing. I have just barely gotten out of bed, have not finished my first cup of coffee and am just sitting here in a daze. Emily had a morning tantrum. I hate those! She has a snit about God knows what at least 3 mornings a week. The conclusion: She is not a morning person. Kris looked a little ticked when he woke up, shot Em a look and went downstairs. Cass spent the night at Angela's so we had a nice and quiet evening without a drama about who ate the Ho Ho's and drank the last juice box. Watched the snow as it came down, first as sleet, then as slush, then as these huge flakes. Every now and then, we saw a flash of lightning and heard some thunder. Pretty dramatic and it was so nasty out on the roads, Joe gave up an evening at a bar and stayed home and drank beer instead.

It's been a calmer week at work so I have started on New Years Resolution number 2: Prepare for CCNA exam and hopefully take the darn thing at the end of the year. For those who don't know, CCNA stands for Cisco Certified Network Administrator. I know that there isn't much need for that certification in purchasing but I am hoping to move into Technical Project Management someday and it will be helpful. BUT, the material is challenging and the exam is difficult. When looking for ways to practice, I did find a few online services that for $2000 will take the exam and pass it for me. HA HA! Where there's a will, there's a f'n way. God Bless America and NO, I DIDN'T CONSIDER THAT AS AN OPTION FOR A SECOND! I want the victory of passing this thing all on my own!

Tonight, I am going to see my friends band. He plays Classic Rock in a nice little smokey bar in Aurora. THE BEST! I haven't smoked in ages but I do it vicariously through everyone else. I still miss it but can't bring myself to buy a pack. The worst I've done is snuck a drag off my bowling teammates cigarrette but left it at that: A DRAG.

On todays agenda: Laundry, cleaning, Kristophers carpet. I have a snazzy new carpet shampooer. Band and beer and vicarious cigarettes later.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Kris had a band concert tonight. Emily has a shelf life of about 30 minutes and then lets us all know that she is done sitting and wants out of her chair. So, after chasing after her in the hallway of Conant High School, I am tired. I hope she grows out of this some day and works her way up to a shelf life of 60 minutes so I can actually sit and enjoy something without chasing, shushing, and dodging those..."CAN'T YOU CONTROL YOUR CHILD?" stares. You just cannot reason with a child. Logic and accountability are two traits you will never see in a kid. So, I lay down the law, set the boundaries and hope they learn something. It's just tiring!
I'm going to bed!

New Year's Resolution 2006....

Someone will always be smarter. Their house will be bigger. They will
drive a better car. Their children will do better in school. And their
partners will fix more things around the house. So, let it all go and love
you and your circumstances. Think about it. The prettiest woman in the
world can have a troubled heart. And the most favored woman on your job >may
be unable to have children. The richest woman you know -- she's got the
car, the house the clothes --might be very lonely. So, love you. Love who
you are right now. Tell yourself, "I am too blessed to be stressed."

Monday, January 16, 2006

I think finally...

we have the bodily fluid problem under control but it all came to a head for awhile there. Diharrea to the left of me, puke to the right and here I am stuck in the middle. Emily managed to cause of wave of digestive problems to everyone she came in contact with for two days and the virus finally left her but not without a grand finale. Saturday morning bright and early, shortly after finishing coffee and fortunately before breakfast, Emily blew out her diaper but it was the granddaddy of all diaper blowouts. I never knew so much could come out of something so small! Oh was it disgusting...all over the carpet and she stepped in it and tracked it all over the place! She cleared the cats out of the room that's how nasty it was. But she is feeling much better now.

Christmas is officially over, the decorations are down and it has been cleaned out of the furniture. Jelly stains, chocolate handprints, spilled wine, crushed potato chips, ribbon filled cat yak, pretzels, bits of Christmas dinner, we had enough food in the carpet to feed a third world country. But not only did I do the carpet, I did all the upholstery as well and my back is KILLING me this morning. Kris got on my case we didn't do anything fun all weekend. GRRRRRRRRRR! He got the evil death stare from me on that and then there's Cass, sweet doe eyed Cass. After I spent all weekend, cleaning up the remnants of Christmas and this past weeks flu, I got a little tired and all I wanted to do was sit and just be for a few minutes. So I told Cassie to straighten the kitchen after she was done eating. She threw such a hissy, you'd think I asked her to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge into a swarm of hungry sharks. "WHAT ABOUT KRIS??? WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO DO? THOSE CRUMBS AREN'T MY CRUMBS! ID DIDN'T PUT THAT THERE!" Then she started screaming at Emily who was bringing the contents of her toybox onto the kitchen floor and just generally being her annoying self. I told her to knock it off and I wanted to hear some water running in the sink for the dishes. So, she pouted and turned on the faucet so a little dribble hit the sink and it would take a day to fill the sink. Well, that did it! I got up and calmly told her to go to her room and stay there for the rest of her life or until I called her to come out, whichever comes first. I cleaned the kitchen up which took me all of 10 minutes. It's not like I own the TajMahal. It was two counters, the table and a pan that needed cleaning. WOOP DEE DOOOOOO! So, as punishment for being a bit on the selfish side, she is solely responsible for keeping the kitchen clean for the next 3 days. AND, I had a talk with Kristopher already about NOT being a jerk and leaving all his dishes and crap all over the place knowing she would have to clean them. Yes, he would do that. I remember reading somewhere that children feel more a part of the family if they are required to have some responsibilities maintaining the household. This may come as a shock, but none of the kids has ever thanked me for requiring them to help me. I know. I know.. INCONCEIVABLE.

Nothing new to report. Saw King Kong...which I LOVED! Joe wrote his schpeil on that so I will just shut up. I am also wanting to see Munich. I watched a movie called "Crash" last night which is all about Racism and it's many incarnations. Was good. Unbelievable in parts but overall, I enjoyed it. www.rottentomatoes.com has the reviews if you are interested in reading about the movie.

Later folkses and please let me know your availability for the Berghoff outing.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

All the kids are home! Cassie vs the Jelly jar!

It's 9:50am. All my children are home today. Emily is whining. Cassie is whining. Kristopher is pouring gasoline on Cassie's already burning fire by causing her to whine MORE. Already at 9:30am, it's coming to a head. All I did was give Emily a glass of water and it resulted in two absolutely full and horrible diapers. Cass was obsessing over what she wanted for breakfast and I told her if her stomach feels that bad, it's toast time. Of course she wanted jelly with the toast and that led to a meltdown. She had to pull a new jar out of the pantry and little noodle arm couldn't open the jar. So after one attempt, she started whining "Mommmm, I can't open it" "Mommmmm" "Mommm come here. boo hoo hoo" I said..WILL YOU PLEASE THROW THAT CAP UNDER SOME HOT WATER SO THAT YOU CAN OPEN IT! She looks at me.. "WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME? I DIDN"T DO ANYTHING!" Then she stomped over to the sink and threw the jar under the water, made one more attempt, couldn't open it and started whining again! So, I walked over there, grabbed the jar and EFFORTLESSLY opened the cap. Then I couldn't resist laughing which was a HUGE mistake on my part. "STOP LAUGHING!" "MOMMMM! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME!" "YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF ME." Then of course Kris had to walk in and donned a giggle and all Hell broke loose in the kitchen. Cass threw the toast on the plate and said she wasn't eating it. I yelled at Kris to go away and I didn't need his help. Then told Cassie she better put the fricken jelly on the fricken toast and eat it before I ban jelly along with pop tarts.

The beginning of a beautiful day! Thus concludes Jellygate 2006!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

We are all coming down with some stomach bug and feel kinda YUCK.
Cassie has a band concert tonight. It's her first and she is all jazzed up about it. As luck would have it, Kris is home from school today being all whiny and sicky poo and Emster is running around giving me mega diapers. Cass will be so thrilled to know that half her personal audience is wanting to stay home in bed tonight. So, that is all for now. By the way, I love Milano cookies! MMMMMMM

Thursday, January 05, 2006

The first 5 days of the New Year.

Hmm...it feels like the old one. It's been a rather uneventful week. Work has been nice and light. The kids are back to school. I am reading "The DaVinci Code." True to form, I started it 2 years after it was trendy and am reading at, of all places, the bowling alley. Yes it's noisy there and smoky and is generally mass pandemonium. Minus the smoke, it feels like HOME! I haven't had a cigarette in ages and ages and previously, my bowling adventure was my VICE NIGHT! I smoked. I drank. I once traded my bra to a biker. Well, all us girls on my team did. Kinda funny and NO, there was no flashing involved. My friend liked his Harley shirt. So we girls traded the bras for the tee shirt. HEE HEE! Those were the days! Now I sit and read and GASP...behave! WTF!? I used to order one of those oil cans of Fosters. Now, I settle for a simple draft. I used to walk out slightly looped. Now, I walk out very sober. What is happening to me???? In any case, it gets me out of the house. I love the bowling alley! No one is there putting on airs and trying to be anything they are not. WE are all just normal everyday people with normal everyday problems throwing a ball down an oily lane imagining that the source of all our stress is the head pin. Babes with balls!

I just realized that the above had nothing to do with the first 5 days of the New Year. My first 5 days:
I got up 5 times.
I went to work 4 times
I had a hangover 1 time
I watched Law and Order, X-Files, WIthout A Trace and a movie called "The Rainmaker".
I chased Emily out of the tree at least 4 times a day for the past 5 days
I vacuumed spilled coffee grounds out of the carpet twice because Em got into the garbage can and had a rip roaring good time with them.
I mediated countless fights between Kris and Cass.

Hmm... Looks like 2006 is looking a whole lot like 2005.
I have some ideas on things to change but it is still a work in progress.
Later!

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

HALLELUIAH!!

The kids went back to school today!!!!! DO YOU SEE MY HAPPY DANCE??? Of course now they are....*home* SIGHHHHHH! I've heard the word "idiot" 20 times. Cass calls Kris "dumb butt." He calls her "retard." Emmie just says.. COOKIE??? But for 6 hours today, it was quiet even with the voracious toddler pulling things down, touching everything, climbing things and chasing cats. Honestly, I don't know what the child will do when the tree comes down this coming weekend. It's become her bestest buddy. Kristopher made a little ornament for the tree when he was in 1st grade out of a wafer cone and one of those styrofoam balls. It looked like an ice cream cone. IN fact, it looked so much like an ice cream cone that Emily ate it. Well, she ate the wafer part anyway and I guess it didn't taste good because cone crumbs were all over the LR. Kris was upset. I was upset and amused at the same time and I am very happy the darn tree is coming down this weekend because there have been just way too many ornament casualties this year. As a matter of fact, I just pulled one from her hot little hands. Hope your New Years was smashing! We were a tad smashed which is just the way it should be!

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Happy New Year

I have a hangover. I have a hangover and an active toddler. OUCH!

Friday, December 30, 2005

Post Christmas ... the resumption of sanity

I am soooo tired. Christmas Eve went off without a hitch. The dinner came out alright. I strive for no complaints. This year, I didn't hear any so I guess it was OK. The leftovers were even better! My kids raked it in! I swear there wasn't anything on the kids list that they didn't get. The living room was covered in boxes and paper and ribbon and in the middle of it all was this toddler who was practically bouncing off the walls trying to figure out what to destroy first. Her grandma opened up the majority of her presents which Emily carried around and dropped in some strategic place. Her piano unfortunately, arrived damaged. The back was crushed in as if something heavy was sitting on it and Em's has to bang on the piano really hard to get any sound out of it at all. OK..That could be a blessing and believe me I know this. But, I did get on the phone with the company that I ordered it from, and they shipped one to me yesterday which I should get in the next few days. Kudo's to Sensational Beginnings for their really good customer service. I asked them if I should have the damaged piano ready for them to pick up and was told to just put it on the curb with the trash. Well cool! So there is a little plug from me for them. After the flurry of wrapping paper and fever pitch excitement about their presents, Christmas Day and the day after Christmas were spent breaking it all. For us adults, it was prime opportunity to sit on our butts and we did! And um..we drank a lot too. YUM. The next stop, NYE. Have I ever mentioned how much I loathe and detest NYE? It is the one day of the year I feel like the biggest loser! I think the whole holiday was cursed when I married my ex on NYE 1993 and it was downhill from there, hook, line and sinker! Since that fateful day, my NYE's have usually been spent getting stood up which has happened countless times, or I make plans and someone gets the flu and I wind up sitting at home with chinese food and a B movie or I get the flu and spend it in bed. Around midnight, I look back at the preceding year and say...what have I accomplished? Nothing! I'm in the same place I was last year, broke, no boyfriend, barely swimming with my head above water and one year older to boot! I am aware it is my own perceptions. I am aware I can adjust my attitude. I am aware of a lot of things. But like Melvin in the movie "Is This as Good as it Gets?" I wonder the same thing every year! IS IT? My life has one thing for sure, a whole lotta drama! All I can say is HAPPY NEW YEAR to all of you and please pass the Prozac!